CHAPTER 61
Sara continued to struggle with her guilt and a growing need to confess everything to Catherine. She’d known what going to Sam might mean for their relationship. No. There was no relationship. The arm around her waist; the hand tucked into her left pocket. Those conveyed friendship from the very straight Catherine.
“My God. What’s going on in that head of yours?” Catherine said, pulling them to a stop and turning Sara around until they faced each other. She held Sara in place, keeping her hands firmly on Sara’s hips. “I can almost hear the voices up there fighting.”
“I’m fine,” Sara protested automatically.
She shouldn’t have bothered. “Honey, we deal with liars of all kinds every day. I may not be the team’s best or brightest, but I can tell you’re not fine.” Catherine peered intently at Sara, who felt her cheeks heat at the accurate assessment. “We’ve been through too much for this. Tell me what’s wrong!”
Looking away, Sara realized she should have known this would happen. Catherine had a gift for ferreting out the truth, and she’d always been able to sense Sara’s feelings. “Cath…” The name slipped out on a sigh.
***
“Sara…” Exasperation and fondness, not mockery, filled the deliberate echo. Catherine moved a step closer and went up on her toes until she and Sara were eye to eye. About to plead a second time, she noticed Sara’s flush and felt her attempts to pull away. They were so close together that she felt Sara’s breath puff against her face in rapid bursts.
A shiver worked its way up Catherine’s spine.
Oh, damn. Catherine’s heels hit the ground at the same time the truth hit home. She was in love with Sara. “Sara,” she said again, wanting to share the discovery, the pure emotion, but the words wouldn’t come. Hands clenching on Sara’s hips as she hunted for where to start, Catherine got caught in a troubled gaze and froze. This wasn’t the time for admissions of the heart. She had to help Sara. “Come on, honey. Let’s go sit down. Linds will be running around for a while yet, and you look like you could use a rest.”
There was some initial resistance as Catherine steered them toward a shaded bench at the near-side of the lake. Pushing Sara gently onto the cool metal, Catherine gave the other woman a chance to regroup and stretched. “If I’m honest, I could use a rest, too. The overtime’s too much for me anymore.” Leg pressed lightly against Sara’s, she finally sat down. “Or maybe I just don’t like all the time away from Lindsey anymore. This lawsuit’s made me reevaluate a lot of things.”
“Me, too.” Sara quirked her lips slightly. “When push comes to shove, family is all that matters. I understand those perps now, you know? The ones who kill to protect their kids or spouses.”
Catherine was learning. She didn’t mention Sara’s mother and the death of her father, didn’t remind Sara of the circumstances surrounding her mother’s actions. Instead, she leaned back and stretched her arm along the top slat of the bench so her fingers had full access to the fine hairs at the back of Sara’s neck. Goose bumps erupted under her fingertips and swept down and out of sight under Sara’s shirt collar. Answering tingles tickled Catherine’s fingers, reigniting her shiver. Sucking in a deep, slow breath, she ignored her burgeoning arousal and focused on convincing Sara it was her idea to talk about whatever was troubling her. “Mmm,” she murmured encouragingly. Tell me! Her mental voice wasn’t so quiet or coaxing. It demanded answers – now.
Her patience paid off. Sara continued to ramble. “I’ve never seen anyone like you, Cath. The way you are with Lindsey. You care. Really care, not just pretend when people are around.”
Now the breath simply caught in Catherine’s throat and the soothing surface of the pond blurred.
“When Sam tried to bully you that morning…” Sara broke off and frowned fiercely. “I wanted to push him right out of that stupid window,” she said so seriously that Catherine was stunned – and then amused. “I should have. He wouldn’t have been able to go after you and Linds if I had.”
It was finally time to intercede. “You’d look terrible in orange,” Catherine joked, hoping to break the increasingly tense atmosphere. Then, responding to the vulnerability in Sara’s expression, she sobered. “And I’d be heartbroken, Sar. You’re family now. Sam’s a bastard, and he recruited another bastard, Eddie the Ex, to make me do what he wanted. But he won’t win, Sara. Because this family doesn’t have to resort to threats and tricks to win. We’ll do this the right way, and Sam can rot in prison for the rest of his life. Or not. I don’t care as long as we’re still together.”
Well, that certainly wasn’t the way that was supposed to come out. Catherine cursed her big mouth. She’d vowed not to say anything about her new feelings. In the same breath, though, she watched Sara and waited for her reaction.
The wait was long enough to make Catherine’s lungs burn from oxygen deprivation. It was long enough to make her afraid and her chest ache. “Together,” Sara finally whispered the word so softly Catherine barely heard it. “I don’t think you’ll want me to stay…”
Oh, Catherine wanted Sara to stay. Stay and move out of the guest room. In keeping with her slow and careful approach to anything emotional-related, though, she merely inched closer on the bench and jostled Sara. “You’ll stay. I’m addicted to the kitchen and childcare help now. No way can I find all that in one package anywhere else.”
Sara didn’t smile at the teasing. In fact, Catherine watched her face set in an even deeper frown.
The day dimmed suddenly despite the brilliant sunlight until the park seemed as dark as night. Had Catherine misread things? Did Sara not want her? Catherine had made the assumption Sara felt more than desire, but… Dear God. What if she’d been entirely wrong, and Sara didn’t even want to stay with her and Lindsey? Very slowly, muscles and joints moving woodenly, Catherine put a few inches between them. “Sara.” It was worth one more try. She’d never cared enough to fight for Eddie. She cared too much for Sara not to fight. “I want you to stay. Lindsey wants you to stay.” Sara loved Lindsey; Catherine knew that. Lindsey was her ace in the hole, and she didn’t hesitate to use it. “Nothing’s going to change that. Not Sam. Not Eddie. Not even Gil and the Sheriff and the damned rules will change that.”
Still watching Sara’s expression, Catherine faced a decision. She could stop there and let Sara continue to believe there was nothing more between them than friendship. Or she could take a leap of faith.
The decision required no thought. Catherine slid off the bench and seized Sara’s hand. “Nothing would make me ask you to leave, Sara.” The darkness faded in and out just like Catherine’s hope as she said tremulously, “I love you, Sara.”
Sara stared blankly back.
Afraid she hadn’t made her point or that Sara misunderstood, Catherine tried again. “I love you.” Then it hit her. Sara probably thought she meant love in a friendship sense. “Not like a friend,” she clarified in a rush. “Like… love, love.” Yeah, that was better.
The blank stare had given way to a few rapid blinks of Sara’s lashes. Catherine’s lack of finesse with words had Sara looking as if she’d been hit in the head with a two-by-four.
This was crazy! Catherine had come too far to back off now. And, knowing Sara, if she finally realized just what Catherine had admitted, she’d run all the way to San Francisco. It might come to that later; for now, though, caution was not part of the game plan. Releasing one of Sara’s hands, she leaned in and stroked a finger over Sara’s lips – and followed that touch with a light, gentle kiss.
Sara started and her muscles tensed. Finally, as if the continued pressure of the kiss flicked a switch, she surged forward. Her mouth opened slightly, enough to invite Catherine in for more.
A victory whoop would be crass and hard to manage through the kiss. Catherine contented herself with an inner end zone dance and took what Sara offered. Flicking her tongue over Sara’s lips and into her warm mouth, she stroked Sara’s tongue. The soft, guttural moan that vibrated through Sara was yet another measure of success. Catherine could feel Sara gripping the hand she still clenched. The hand pulled her in, a silent plea for more.
And it was exactly what Catherine wanted, too. Just… not here. Not now. Not in a park filled with children, parents, and a private investigator’s camera lens. With a final nip to Sara’s bottom lip, she drew back but didn’t relinquish all physical contact. She remained on her knees with her chest resting against the front of Sara’s legs.
“Love, love?” Sara mocked in a gravelly voice. “I think you need to be more specific, Cath. Gris would be so disappointed in you.”
Afraid to move and destroy the moment, Catherine let her smile and shrug speak for her.
Even that little movement was too much. Sara frowned and shifted until she sat adjacent to Catherine and they no longer touched. The separation was almost painful, and dread rushed to overcome the previous euphoria. “This is a bad idea, Cath.”
The only thing keeping Catherine from all-out panic was the lack of conviction in Sara’s voice. The protest was pro forma; Sara’s reminder to them both of the threat to Catherine and Lindsey. It wasn’t an indication, she told herself, of Sara’s disinterest. “No, it’s not. I love you, Sara.” It was freeing to say, and she enjoyed Sara’s shy smile and slight flush in response. “We aren’t doing anything wrong. Hell.” Catherine laughed sardonically. “We aren’t even doing anything new, if Sam and Eddie can be believed.”
***
Reeling from the kiss and the words of love and Catherine’s boundless confidence, Sara let emotion rule. She grabbed Catherine and kissed her, hard and fast. Energy burned through her until her skin felt tight with it. She wanted to run. To scream her sudden joy to the world.
Reality burst the bubble of her dream when Linsdey’s voice chirped from nearby. “Mommy, will Sara be moving into your room now?”
Catherine’s mouth worked to form words and her skin nearly matched the red-gold glory of her hair. “Honey, I… Sara…” Great. The Great Mother Figure was broken, leaving Sara to find an answer.
“I’d like that, Linds,” she said with complete honesty. That same honesty compelled her to continue. “But it isn’t that simple.” God, it was anything except simple. Her heart, once racing with need from Catherine’s kiss, now slowed to a heavy thud as she faced Lindsey and the specter of her earlier meeting with Sam.
With childlike logic, Lindsey disagreed. “Yes, it is. My friend Josh has two daddies and he says they stay in the same room. Mommy’s room is way big enough for all your books, but I bet she’d let you keep them where they are if you want.”
Swallowing against a burning lump, Sara tried again. “Linds, wouldn’t it bother you if I moved to your mom’s room? What about your dad?” She felt more than saw the way Catherine stiffened at the question. They had never told Lindsey about the lawsuit or that Lindsey might end up in Eddie’s custody.
“Daddy has lots of different girlfriends, Sara, and they all stay in his room.” Lindsey skipped up to the bench and hopped into Sara’s lap. “I like you more than any of them. You don’t smell funny and yell at me when I don’t stay in my room.”
At least Lindsey didn’t think Sara smelled. That was good. Stifling a completely inappropriate laugh, Sara nodded solemnly instead. “I’m glad those showers helped. I’d hate for my nickname to be Stinky Sara. Grissom wouldn’t let me go to crime scenes or anything.”
Lindsey rolled her eyes. “Uncle Gil’s nice, Sara. He’d probably just teach you about soap and stuff.”
This time, Sara couldn’t hold back her chuckle – and Catherine didn’t help the situation by joining in.
Planting her hands on her hips, Lindsey glared at both of them in a sure sign she didn’t think anything she’d said was funny. Not even remotely. “So, are you moving in?” Despite the frown on her face, Lindsey’s kind heart showed through when she continued. “I can help carry things. Or move Mom’s shoes out of the closet. She’s got a lot of those, you know.”
Sara was smart enough to let that comment pass. “If your Mom and I decide I should share her room, I promise you can help, kiddo.” Giving in to euphoria, she jumped up from the bench and grabbed Lindsey around the waist. A shriek, followed by giggles, erupted near her ear as she swung the little girl onto her shoulders. “Let’s go before we say something about your mom we can’t take back. She gets cranky when we make fun of her.”
With a bounce in her step, Sara started for their abandoned picnic table and the forgotten cake. Sugar sounded just right.
***
The house was achingly quiet with Lindsey tucked in bed. With a tired sigh, Catherine trotted down the stairs and headed down the hallway to Sara’s room. They needed to talk, to figure out what came next, because Catherine wasn’t going to ignore what had happened this afternoon. She tapped resolutely on the partially-closed door and waited.
Seconds later, the door popped open. “Cath?” Sara asked softly. “Something wrong?” Opening the door farther, she peered out. “Lindsey having trouble falling asleep?”
“No.” Suddenly, the desire to talk was supplanted by something far more carnal. With her hair rumpled and her voice rough from sleep, Sara looked sexy. Catherine’s hands clenched on the need to reach out and touch. She took a step closer until her chest brushed Sara’s. “What about you? Do you need some help sleeping?” Catherine’s voice rasped from her throat even as she wanted to groan at the pathetically cheesy come-on line.
Sara’s sleepy eyes widened and then dropped to half mast. A slow smile tilted her lips. “What did you have in mind?”
Something completely X-rated, Catherine internally acknowledged. Her hands lifted until they swept Sara’s hair away from her face. “Nothing, if it’s not what you want, too,” she made herself say. As if to belie her statement, she gently maneuvered Sara back into the bedroom and closed the door behind them. “If you do want…” Her voice trailed off and her hands dropped to her sides. Sara would have to make the first move.
“I’ve always wanted, Cath. You know that.” For the first time, Sara didn’t back away from the admission. She met Catherine’s eyes and continued. “I’m a lesbian, and you’re beautiful.” Moving back another two steps, she stopped with her knees resting against the foot of the bed. “This is about you. Dancing in a bar, fending off drunken men, teasing a few women. It’s not the same as making love. Are you sure this is where you want to be?”
Sara’s words were a gently-delivered challenge. Catherine picked up the verbal gauntlet and walked forward. It took only one shove to push Sara onto the bed. “Does this convince you?” She reached down and tugged the hem of her shirt from her pants, lifting it over her head before dropping it carelessly on the floor. Her bra, pants, and underwear followed. In less than a minute, she stood naked in front of Sara. “Or is there some other proof you need?”
As if struck mute, Sara simply shook her head. A flush painted her cheeks and extended to just below her throat.
“If you change your mind,” Catherine murmured teasingly. God, this was fun. Her tension eased. She should have expected this. Sara didn’t trust her. Didn’t trust Catherine’s declaration of love. Catherine would have to be the aggressor today. She put her right knee on the bed. Sara’s hip pressed into Catherine’s inner thigh, her soft pajama shorts brushing Catherine’s pubic hair. Just that small touch caused her pelvic muscles to flutter. “Just let me know and I’ll stop.”
Right. Like she could back away now. Catherine’s hands rose without conscious instruction to cup Sara’s breasts. Her fingers scraped lightly at first over the soft cotton and the tiny swell of nipples beneath. Then, as the flesh firmed, Catherine increased the pressure. A satisfied smile broke out when Sara arched into her touch. “I’m right where I want to be, Sar.” They were past teasing. Catherine dropped lower, straddling Sara’s thigh. “I want to be with you. I don’t care what anyone thinks. I love you.”
Sara’s body stilled.
She must need more convincing, and Catherine vowed to give Sara exactly what she needed. Using her body weight to advantage, she leaned forward until they toppled onto the mattress. That’s where here mission got sidetracked. Sidetracked by the feel of Sara’s breasts pressed into hers and the warm brush of Sara’s breath over her cheek. Catherine watched Sara’s eyes dilate until only a thin ring of brown circled the black iris. She was so beautiful.
No. Catherine wasn’t getting distracted; she was going to do this right. She wasn’t going to rush their first time together. This wasn’t a tawdry one-night stand in the back room of a strip club.
Lowering her head slowly, Catherine planted feather-light kisses along Sara’s jaw. Her throat. Then she sucked the smooth, warm skin over Sara’s pulse point. Sara’s stillness disappeared. Her head pushed back until her chin pointed to the ceiling and her hips rose and fell restlessly. Hmm. A hot spot? Catherine hid her smile of triumph by laving the slight brush she’d left with her tongue.
Sara’s heart pounded beneath the skin. Faster and faster with each swipe. Catherine reveled in yet another sign of Sara’s excitement. She leaned up for a second and nipped Sara’s left earlobe before wiggling down the bed. Not wanting to break the mood or give Sara time to recover, Catherine didn’t waste time trying to strip Sara of her sleep shirt or shorts. Instead, she slipped one hand beneath the hem of the shirt and simply pushed it over Sara’s breasts.
Catherine was fairly certain the pebbled nipples weren’t a reaction to the air conditioning. Just in case, though, she circled the right nub with her tongue and squeezed and pulled on the left until it hardened further. Sara bucked and her breathing grew ragged. With each exhale, she whispered, “Cath…God…please.”
A quick glance showed that Sara’s hands gripped the comforter so tightly her knuckles showed white.
“Please what, Sara?” Catherine used her hands on Sara’s breasts and nipped a trail to her belly button, stopping just long enough circle it and blow along the saliva left behind. Goose pimples rewarded her efforts. Another hot spot to add to the list. Not pausing to enjoy her success, Catherine continued. Moving with a little more speed and deliberation, she slid along the final few inches of Sara’s leg and dropped onto her knees in front of the bed. Hands on Sara’s hips, she dragged the other woman closer to the edge of the mattress, planted Sara’s feet on her shoulders, and yanked Sara’s sleep shorts until they passed over her head and stopped at Sara’s ankles. The tightly stretched material pressed into Catherine and kept her bound to Sara.
The only response to her action was non-verbal as Sara’s hands left the comforter and fastened with desperate strength in Catherine’s hair. There was a clear message as Sara shoved against Catherine. Of course, Catherine obliged by stiffening her neck and shoulders and controlling her descent back to Sara’s body. The first hint of trimmed pubic hair tickled her lips as she sucked them into her mouth and tugged gently. A hint of salt and musk tantalized Catherine when her lips encountered the liquid dampening the hair closer to Sara’s core.
She paused there, letting Sara feel the weight and warmth of her tongue and breath – and was met with a new flood of lubrication. Thanks to Catherine’s inelegant attempt to undress Sara, her access to Sara’s labia was limited. She had to content herself with separating the delicate and drenched folds with her nose, lips, and tongue rather than her hands. Once inside the protective barrier, Catherine was surrounded by Sara. Her scent. Her taste. She dove deeper, driving her tongue inside Sara.
After several minutes, Catherine finally found a rhythm, helped by the flexing of Sara’s legs and the feel of her heels on her shoulders. She managed to press her nose against Sara’s clit.
“Cath!” Sara’s silence disappeared with the ragged cry. It spurred Catherine on. Ignoring the stiffness in her jaw and the drag of tired muscles at the base of her tongue, she continued her oral assault. She leaned forward another inch. The new angle gave her more leverage and added more pressure to Sara’s clit. The bundle of nerve swelled at the increased contact and Sara’s hands drove Catherine even deeper into Sara’s core. She could feel Sara’s thighs quiver.
Then Sara bucked, ass off the bed, and froze for a long second. She stayed there until Catherine pulled her head back and gently took Sara’s clit between her teeth. Then it was all she could do to hang on as Sara writhed and twitched. Seconds later, Sara dropped back to the mattress and her feet slipped off Catherine’s shoulders. Only the sleep shorts still looped around Catherine’s neck prevented them from falling to the floor.
Listening to Sara’s rapid breathing, Catherine wiped her cheeks and lips on the inside of Sara’s legs before ducking under the bunched cotton shorts. She let Sara’s leg dangle over the end of the bed and crawled up to take Sara into her arms. “In case you missed the moral of the story,” she said tenderly, “I love you, and I don’t care who knows it.” Including you, Catherine finished silently.
Sara’s eyes, which had been closed when Catherine cuddled close, opened. Hmmm. Catherine could get used to that dazed and vulnerable expression. “I don’t know, Cath.”
Catherine stiffed. What the hell did Sara need from her?
“You might have to repeat the lesson a few times. I could have missed a moral or two.” Sara’s tiny grin sent the air rushing out of Catherine’s lungs in an audible whoosh.
“Bitch.” Letting the tension flow away, Catherine drew Sara closer and rested her cheek against Sara’s hair. In direct opposition to her previous comment, she sighed and murmured, “I want stay right here forever.” Sara felt so good in her arms and she wasn’t rushing to get out of bed like Eddie. In fact Sara had wiggled closer and turned so that one thigh nestled between Catherine’s. Even the steady pulse of Catherine’s simmering arousal felt right. Comforting.
When Sara’s lips brushed Catherine’s throat, the sense of homecoming grew. “I want to, too.” The words were so soft that Catherine wasn’t sure she’d heard Sara correctly. Not until Sara said, “I love you, Cath. You and Lindsey. I want us to be a family.”
Warm tears slid against Catherine’s skin. “Oh, honey.” Hugging Sara tightly, she rocked them as Sara shook with silent sobs. “I’ve got you now, and I’m never letting you go. I promise.” She whispered soft reassurances as the sobs grew louder, racking Sara’s slight frame. It took a long time before Sara went limp and quiet. “Better?”
Sara’s head shook a definite negative. “Even The Hangover hurt less.” The normally husky voice was raspy and blunted from residual congestion. “You shouldn’t have taken off your shirt. It would have been the perfect Kleenex.”
***
Catherine laughed, and the carefree sound made Sara smile – until she remembered her meeting with Sam. The guilt and regret she’d managed to stifle for a short while returned with a vengeance. God, she’d screwed up. How was she going to make things right without losing everything?
Leaning back in the rental car seat, Sara stifled a yawn. Overtime at the lab was never ending; she’d already put in a full week and it was only Wednesday. Her special project wasn’t making the situation better.
Sunlight poured into the car, heating quickly as it passed through the windows. Sweat slicked Sara’s skin and dampened her T-shirt. The heavy camera grew slippery where her hands gripped the metal casing. “Come on,” she implored softly. She’d been sitting here for over an hour. If she didn’t get what she needed soon, Catherine would start to worry and call.
For once, Sara’s luck held. Eddie exited the building at the far end of the parking lot across the street, and Sara automatically raised the camera. The shutter whirred and clicked as a second figure stepped from behind the only other car in the lot. With a quick glance around, Eddie walked forward, hand outstretched.
With a pleased smile, Sara caught their entire exchange in digital perfection.
The scene was over in less than a minute. Eddie ducked back into the club, and the other man drove off in his shiny Benz. Sara waited until the car had disappeared down the road before climbing out of her own vehicle. This was going to end today. Right now. Opening her cell phone, she dialed Catherine.
“Hey! Are you on your way home?” She could hear the smile in Catherine’s voice. “Did Gil finally realize you had to sleep sometime?”
If only. Sara grimaced as she remembered his shock and displeasure when she’d refused to stay and wait for the lab results for one of her many cases. “Nah. I finally grew a pair and told him I was leaving.” Not even the upcoming confrontation could stop her grin when Catherine laughed, but the expression faded quickly. “I’m running an errand now and then I’ve got to go back to the lab.”
Silence greeted her comment.
“Can you meet me there in a couple of hours?” Sara persevered against the growing chill on the other end of the line. “It’s important, Cath.”
“You’re going to owe me,” Catherine warned. “I had breakfast in bed all planned for when you got home.”
Guilt – and a strong desire to be nestled next to Catherine in their large bed – dragged at Sara. “Please. I really need your help with this one. I wouldn’t ask if it wasn’t important.” After all the recent lies, it felt good to finally tell the truth. Even if the truth spelled the end of her relationship with Catherine. “I…I’ve got to go. Will you meet me?”
Damn Catherine and her emotional radar. “What’s wrong, honey?” The voice. The support. The love.
For a minute, Sara nearly spilled all her secrets. Sucking in a deep breath, she choked out, “At the lab, Cath. I promise. I’ll explain everything then.” And pray her world didn’t crumble. With Catherine’s soft and worried agreement ringing in her ear, Sara closed the phone and trotted to the front entrance of the club.
It was dark inside, fitting the seedy feeling and the smell of desperation and sex that was probably ground into the very walls. Not wanting to draw too much attention from the handful of employees and patrons, Sara paid the cover charge and kept her badge and gun hidden beneath the tail of her jacket. Eddie was easy to find, camped out at a table against the stage with a drink in hand. Sara spared a second to wish he’d had the stupidity to snort his latest stash in the open. She wasn’t Mob-trained. Being a bully-boy, no matter how good the end result, wasn’t Sara’s cup of tea.
Keeping a mental image of Catherine and Lindsey firmly in mind, she wended between the tables. “Mind if I join you?” she asked as she dropped into the other chair at Eddie’s tiny table.
He looked at her blankly. Obviously, Eddie hadn’t bothered to look at the photos of her that Sam had paid for. He didn’t appear to recognize her.
Even better. This would give Sara a few minutes to lay the groundwork before Eddie figured out who she was and exactly what she had in mind. “You and I have some business, Eddie.” Leaning closer, she lowered her voice and let a hint of anger past her control. “I’m going to give you a job, and you’re going to do it. Free of charge.”
“Who the hell are you?” Eddie hadn’t learned to throttle his aggression. Rising half out of his chair, he loomed over the table and Sara.
Loser. “I’m your new boss. Sit down.” God, it felt good to see the shock in his eyes, to watch Eddie collapse into the chair on command. “You have a deal with Sam Braun. He keeps you in booze, bimbos, and drugs.”
Eddie’s splutter of outrage and denial would have looked good in a cartoon. “Sam’s a friend of my wife.”
“Your wife?” If Sara had any lingering doubts about her mission, they all went out the window in a flood of righteous rage. “Catherine isn’t your wife!” she snapped. Her hands fisted on the table to keep from reaching for Eddie. “In case you’ve forgotten, you’re divorced.” A flicker of movement behind Eddie caught Sara’s eye. A waitress, heading their way. Sara bit off the rest of her comment and leaned casually back in her chair. She couldn’t risk causing a scene.
Luckily, the nearly-naked waitress wobbled by in her impossibly high heels and didn’t stop at their table.
The few seconds were just enough for Sara to regroup. “From now on, keep your mouth shut and listen.” Threats were easier now. “I know about Sam. About the way he’s using you to get to Catherine. It stops today. Right now. I’ve got enough evidence to put you away for the drugs, and if I dig hard enough, I bet I can follow the money straight to Sam.” Meeting his eyes, Sara did her best to project her belief in that blatant exaggeration.
Despite the air conditioning in the club, Eddie was sweating now. And fidgeting. She had him. “You said you had a job.”
Weak with relief, Sara rode the wave of exhilaration. “It’s simple, Eddie. I’m going to get up and walk out of here. As soon as I’m gone, you’re going to call Ted Goggle at Family Services and tell him to drop the suit against Catherine. And then you’re going to call Sam and tell him you’re done. You won’t be part of his game anymore.”
“I can’t do that. He’ll kill me,” Eddie protested in a strained whisper.
He had a point. If Sam was going to these lengths to get information about the case, the stakes were high. Unease skittered through Sara but she brushed it away. Eddie had known the dangers when he accepted the deal with Sam. Her only concern had to be Catherine and Lindsey. Her family. “And if you don’t, he’ll kill you anyway once I turn the evidence over to the DA. At least this way, Lindsey won’t remember her father in prison orange.” She didn’t end with a plea for Eddie to do the right thing. He’d proven over and over that he was incapable of making the right decisions.
Instead, Sara stood and walked with slow, deliberate steps toward the door. She’d done all she could. It was time to head to the lab. To come clean with Catherine.
And to make her own decisions about the future.
***
The chair grew increasingly uncomfortable. Sara shifted. And shifted again. Nothing helped. Of course, it might not be the chair’s fault. Grissom stared at her. The district attorney glared at her.
Sara shifted again.
“Ms. Sidle, do you any idea what you’ve done?” The DA’s voice rose, and Sara hoped it didn’t leak through the closed door and into the hallway. Although everyone would know the truth eventually, Sara wanted… Ah, no. She didn’t want to admit her part in this disaster. She had to. “You tampered with evidence. We have to notify the defense. We’ll have to end the investigation into the bank heist and Sam Braun.”
Absorbing the truth of those words hurt. Sara flinched briefly before squaring her shoulders and meeting Grissom’s eyes. Not the DA’s. He didn’t count. He was only part of this conversation because of his tie to Sam’s case. Grissom was a friend. “I know. I knew that when I slit the tape on the evidence bag. But I didn’t have a choice. I needed something to keep Catherine from losing Lindsey.”
Her words deflated the DA slightly. At least, he didn’t appear to have any quick comeback.
“You and Catherine didn’t find anything to connect Eddie and Sam?” Grissom asked.
“No,” Sara answered the question for the third time since the conversation began. “Nothing.” Glancing surreptitiously at the clock on the wall, she calculated the time. Catherine was probably already here, waiting for her and the promised explanation. It was time to wrap this up and find her. “I’m leaving that up to you, Gris.” With an astonishing lack of grief or regret, Sara stood and pulled a crumpled letter from her back pocket. “Here’s my resignation. I quit,” she tacked on in case he was too surprised to understand the initial announcement.
The letter stayed in her hand, poised over Grissom’s desk. “Sara…” No longer confused, Grissom sighed deeply. New lines of stress and strain bracketed his mouth. “Are you sure we can’t work this out? There has to be a way,” he said, and it was unclear if he addressed Sara or the now-silent DA.
Making the decision for him, Sara simply let the letter fall gently onto the pile of open case files littering the desktop. “Even if there was, I wouldn’t stay.” The joy of the lab had been tarnished. Worse, Sara’s trust in her ethics was damaged. Gil shouldn’t trust her, and Sara ruefully acknowledged that she didn’t trust herself.
What would Catherine feel?
Frantic movement outside Grissom’s office caught her attention. One of the day-shift CSIs dashed down the hallway. Voices filtered through the wall. A second later, the DA’s cell phone rang.
Experience said a big case had just hit the lab.
“Gris, let it go,” Sara advised softly as the DA jumped out of his chair, phone glued to his ear. “It’s over. I screwed up and you can’t fix it.” She’d had enough time in the last few weeks to make a semblance of peace with this decision. “I’m going to find Catherine and let her know what’s going on. Then I’ll clear my stuff out of the lab.” With a rueful smile, she said, “You’ll need to check out the boxes before I load them into the car.”
He nodded. “I know.” The quiet words were a sign of capitulation. Grissom has finally accepted reality.
Sara turned, mind already grappling with the best way to tell her story to Catherine, but her retreat halted when the DA snapped his fingers to get her attention. When she glanced his way, he held up a finger in a clear gesture to wait. “I’ll be at the scene shortly,” he said and hung up. His face was set and grim.
Even though she was standing, and not sitting in that uncomfortable chair, Sara shifted on the balls of her feet. The DA hadn’t said anything after closing his phone, and the weight of the silence pressed at her.
“That was the Sheriff.” He continued to watch Sara. “His deputies are responding to a call from the Rampart.”
The Rampart. Sam’s hotel. Sara froze mid-shift.
“Eddie Willows just shot Sam Braun,” the DA announced.
***
Catherine paced Sara’s tiny lab. Tension drove her back and forth with increasing speed. Something was wrong. She could feel it. Sara had sounded so odd on the phone, and she’d been anxious all week.
What was the damned woman up to?
And more importantly, how did Catherine stop her? If Sara was back to thoughts of leaving Las Vegas, Catherine vowed to duct tape her to their bed.
For the thousandth time, Catherine checked her watch and then scanned the hallway. If Sara didn’t show up soon… On her next circuit across the room, her next check of time and hall, she finally saw Sara. Thank God. The relief was dizzying.
That was her internal explanation (more excuse) for grabbing Sara in a bone-shattering hug the second she walked into the office. “Are you OK?”
For a second, Sara remained stiff in Catherine’s arms. Then she relaxed. A little. “I’m fine, Cath,” she said, just like she had during their earlier call.
“No, you’re not.” As if Sara had dropped a match into tinder, Catherine’s emotions flared. Anger and frustration replaced relief. “You’re not fine! You haven’t been fine for weeks.” Clutching Sara’s arms, Catherine glared up into Sara’s eyes and prepared to go on.
Sara’s kiss derailed her entirely.
When Sara drew back, Catherine could only gape. “There’s so much I have to tell you. So many things…” Her voice trailed off, and Catherine noticed how young, how vulnerable Sara appeared. “I had to work through a few things, Cath. I’m sorry if you thought something was wrong. Or,” she added with a crooked grin, “that I was planning to leave you and Linds. I’m done running, I swear.”
Emotionally off-balance, from the kiss and the lingering worry, Catherine let go of Sara stumbled back a step.
“Hey.” Sara followed quickly and took Catherine’s hand. “It really is OK.” Her smile was gone, and an unfamiliar, serious expression took its place. She hesitated, peering down at Catherine. “You probably aren’t going to be happy with most of what I have to say. Can you promise to hear me out before trying to kill me?”
“You aren’t leaving?” It was the only part of Sara’s comments that Catherine understood. Or it was the only part she cared about. Crazy confessions were old hat after her marriage to Eddie. And there was no way Sara was about to admit she’d had sex with a hooker or snorted coke.
With a shake of her head, Sara answered the question. “I’m not leaving unless you totally freak and chop me up for Olivia food to hide the evidence.”
Sara’s sincerity was palpable, and Catherine was able to relax enough to link their fingers. “Hmm, that’s one I hadn’t thought of. I was just going to use the chipper-shredder the next time the landscaping crew is in the neighborhood.” With a squeeze, she let go of Sara’s hand and got down to business. “So what’s been up with you?” Hopping up, she sat on one of the counters along one wall of the lab and waited for the much-hyped explanation.
“It’s good you’re sitting down.” Quietly, Sara said, “I had this entire conversation planned when I talked to you this morning. But things changed, and now I don’t really know where to start.”
Catherine gripped the edges of the countertop and didn’t tell Sara to start at the beginning.
“So, um, I’m going to skip a lot and get to the big news first.” Her deep breath sounded ragged. “Sam’s dead, Cath.”
The soft words brushed along Catherine’s mind, never settling in. Just flowing around and around with increasing speed.
Sara took a step toward her. “I’ve been following Eddie. That’s why I’ve been so late every day. I finally had enough evidence, pictures of him with a bunch of women and buying drugs. It was pretty damaging stuff. After I called you this morning, I met with him at a club and I told him he had to tell Sam their deal was off. That he was dropping the lawsuit. Or I’d give the photos to the court.”
The whirlwind in Catherine’s head slowed. “Eddie had to know Sam wouldn’t stand for that.” Her fingers ached, and Catherine wasn’t surprised to see the white around her knuckles where they gripped the counter.
“Yeah, he mentioned that before I left him in the bar.” Sara was poised halfway between Catherine’s position and the door. In the harsh light of the lab, her skin looked ashen. “He must have decided to make the first move. He shot Sam in front of the Rampart not long after I left him.”
“He shot Sam,” Catherine repeated numbly. How had her spineless ex-husband managed such decisive action? “Is he in custody?” He’d need a really good lawyer. She knew the best, had sat across a courtroom from them for years. Despite the lawsuit and the threat of losing Lindsey, Catherine wouldn’t leave Eddie to face this alone.
Cold fingers touched her arm. Sara, still looking far too pale. “He’s not at the Sheriff’s Office, Cath.”
Catherine stopped planning and focused solely on Sara. “Where is he?”
“At the morgue. When Eddie shot Sam, Sam’s bodyguards opened fire.” She linked her fingers with Catherine’s, the touch somehow anchoring Catherine as the world around them wavered. “They’re both dead, Cath.”
***
“They’re going to put a plaque on this bench.” Sara didn’t open her eyes at Catherine’s comment. She did, however, scoot a few inches to her left so their legs touched when Catherine sat next to her. “I mean, our most important moments as a couple have been right here on this spot.”
The exaggeration was too much to resist. Opening her eyes and turning her head, Sara gave Catherine an exasperated look. “Really? Every important moment?” Then Catherine’s triumphant smile registered. “You bitch!”
Catherine’s laughter rang through the park, the sound well worth the slight sting of her teasing.
“They’re going to put a plaque, alright. Commemorating Las Vegas’ newest unsolved murder,” Sara said with mock menace. She relented quickly after Catherine brushed a light kiss over her cheek and rested her head on Sara’s shoulder. She wrapped an arm around Catherine, pulling her even closer. “I love you, even if you do constantly make fun of me.”
They sat in companionable silence for a while. Sara soaked up the peace and quiet and the feel of Catherine pressed against her. They rarely had this long to just…be together.
And that was why, a few minutes later, Sara gently dislodged Catherine’s head from her shoulder. “Before we have to pick Linds up from school or Grissom pages you,” she said and stood up, suddenly restless. “I wanted to give you this.” Reaching to the inner pocket of her jacket, Sara pulled out an envelope and thrust it at Catherine. It was unopened. She hadn’t quite had the nerve to peek when it came in the mail yesterday.
“What is it?” Catherine didn’t open it, either. She peered at the address and then at Sara. “Are you taking a vacation? Or did you find Olivia a new home?” She raised an eyebrow.
“A new job.” Sara chuckled and admitted, “Well, I think it is. I was kind of afraid to check in case I read the interview committee wrong.”
Waving the envelope, Catherine watched Sara closely. “Two things.” The envelope paused, mid-air. “OK, three. One, you don’t have to get a job. Linds and I both love having you home during the day, and we’re doing surviving financially.” When Sara started to object to that last statement, Catherine pointed the envelope at her. “Don’t interrupt; I’m not finished. Two, I’ve lived and worked in Vegas a long time. I know exactly what The Orchard is. Three, you don’t have to prove anything to me, Sar.”
Tears blurred Sara’s view of Catherine and the envelope. She blinked rapidly to clear them away. “Before we argue about any of those points, let’s find out if it’s even necessary.” Pushing her anxiety to the side, she snatched the envelope out of Catherine’s hand and ripped it open. The heavy bond paper unfolded.
We are please to
invite you to join our Upper School science faculty for the remainder of the
2000/2001 school year…
“I’m in.” Excitement bubbled, mixing with Sara’s restlessness. Pulling Catherine into her arms, she whirled them around. “I’m in, Cath. And I want to be in.” Her words tumbled together as she tried to convey all of her emotions at once. “I came to Vegas for a reason, and it wasn’t to help Grissom with a case. I was bored in San Francisco. I needed a change – I just didn’t know that change would be finding you and Lindsey. Learning I could live outside of the lab. Getting over my past. I’m ready to build my future with you and Linds. The Orchards is part of that. The offer is for the rest of this school year, teaching science in their Upper School. The high school so I won’t be dealing with a hoard of little kids every day. If they like me,” Catherine grinned, as if that was a given, “then they’ll extend the contract. The salary isn’t much, but they said Lindsey would be able to attend for reduced tuition, if we wanted to enroll her, too.”
It got very hard to breathe as Catherine grabbed her in a bear hug. “I love you, Sara Sidle, and I think you’ve made an excellent start on our future.”
THE END
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