Summary: Willow needs help choosing just the right Valentine’s gift

Disclaimer: All things Buffy belong to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, and lots of people in expensive suits. I’m not making any money here, just trying to create a happier Buffyverse for my favorite characters.

Spoilers: None. Set post-Chosen.

A/N: This one is for T, my heart and my inspiration.

A/N2: As always, thanks to the very best beta crew: zigpal, Ivy, and Lilly.

Archiving: By permission only

“You OK?” I brushed off my pants, only glancing at Willow occasionally.

She gave me a crusty look, doing a little brushing of her own. “Perfect. I love this particular shade of demon green. And, hey, it has such a nice texture when it dries.”

“Sorry, Red. I didn’t see that second one until it was right behind you.” I didn’t mention the fifty or so times I’d tried to talk her out of coming tonight. “You gotta admit, though, I was right there once I saw the thing. It never laid a hand on you.”

“True.” She grinned, and I relaxed a little. “Now, what were we talking about before the interruption?”

“Valentine’s Day,” I mumbled. Had to be the dumbest holiday ever invented. Hearts, flowers, and crappy candy. “B wants me to go shopping with her in the morning. Like I have a fucking clue what she should get her latest squeeze.”

A slender arm wrapped around me, and I froze. What the fuck? “Oh, don’t worry. You won’t have to actually do anything. Buffy just likes company when she shops. You’re there to smile, nod, carry bags, and tell her: of course Paula will like whatever.”

Willow hugged me. Why was Willow hugging me? “Hey, Red?” I started, wiggling a little in her grip.

“Yes, Faith?” Whoa. Look at all those shiny teeth.

“Why does B need a cheering section to shop?” That had sounded a lot different in my head.

Red hair brushed my cheek when Willow laid her head on my shoulder. “Valentine’s gifts are important, Faith.”

Of course they were. People really worried about whether the candy was crème-filled or had nuts in it.

“I mean, what if you want someone to understand you’re just friends and not serious?” Willow continued to prattle. “You wouldn’t give them anything personal, like a necklace or a ring. That would tell them you wanted more than friendship.”

I was getting a headache. It had been a while since I’d had to translate Willowbabble. That, mixed with the bizarre gift conversation, was too hard. “That’s fucked up.”

Next time, I was keeping my mouth shut. Grunting from the sharp elbow Willow poked into my side, I pouted while she went on babbling. “It’s a big deal, Faith. That’s why Buffy wants someone along. See, she talks to you, but she’s really talking to herself and figuring out if the gift gives exactly the right message.”

“Sorry,” I said for the second time that night. “So, you needing any help with the shopping? I haven’t seen you dating anyone since Junior split.”

No answer. Must be something really big to get Willow to go quiet.

Nudging her head with my arm, I begged, “C’mon, Red. You know you can tell me.”

She peered up at me, her face pink and eyes wide. “You…you won’t tell anyone?”

I shook my head. “Nope. I’ll carry your secret to the grave.” I couldn’t resist teasing, though. “Who you got the hots for? B? G-man?” I wiggled my eyebrows. “Me?”

“You?” Willow pushed me away, snorting. “Please.”

Putting my hand over my heart, I staggered. “You’re killin’ me here, Red. Killin’ me. Now, since I don’t have to worry about ruining some big surprise you’re buying me, tell me all about your new girl.”

“She’s not mine.” Willow hopped up on a tombstone, feet swinging back and forth. “She doesn’t even know I’m interested.”

“OK.” I wasn’t sure what to say. Willow wasn’t smiling anymore. Maybe I should just let this drop. That’s why I said, “Um…so, you looking for a gift that says, ‘Take me, I’m yours,’ or something closer to, ‘Hey, moron, look what you’re missing?’”

That was better. The giggles were back. Grinning, I watched her watching me.

She ducked her head for a second then looked up. “I’m not sure. Maybe you should take me shopping after Buffy drags you around the malls.”

“You sounded like an expert a few minutes ago when you were explaining the science of gifts.” I leaned against the stone. “What’s different about going out and doing what you said?”

“It’s important. I don’t want to screw it up.” She sounded freaked at the prospect.

Who the fuck was she interested in? I mean, I’d been joking about Buffy and Giles. Maybe I hadn’t been that far off. “I ain’t going to have to beat anybody up, am I? No jealous girlfriends that might get mad when you give this person their gift?”

“I don’t…I don’t think so.” Well, I felt better - not. Biting her lip, Willow confessed, “I’ve never really asked her if there’s someone important. I always just assumed no.”

OK, I could relax a little. “She” meant no Giles. And if Willow’s girl wasn’t seeing anyone, it couldn’t be Buffy, either. Willow was still talking; I didn’t hear any of it. I was too busy going through a mental list of possibilities. Dawn? Kennedy was out. Willow’d been there and done that. One of the other juniors?

My head snapped forward. “God damn it, Red. Stop hitting me.”

“Poor Slayer. Did the tiny little witch leave a big bruise?” Willow sing-songed.

I got no respect. None. She was just short of laughing at me. “Fuck yeah.” I rubbed the spot, almost pouting. “What was that for?”

“Tell me what I just said,” Willow demanded.

“You made some lame comment about being a little witch. Bitch is more like it.” My head rocked forward again. “I was joking!”

There was no response, so I looked up at her. Nice. I hadn’t seen Willow blush like that since Sunnydale High. “Oh, sorry,” she kind of mumbled. Then her face got all scrunched up, and I nearly groaned. Resolve Face. “That wasn’t what I was talking about, Faith. I just spent ten minutes talking about trying to find out if… if the person I’m interested in has a girlfriend.”

“Sorry, Red.” This time, I smacked myself. “That’s it. That’s the last time I say I’m sorry.” Until the next time. I was pretty good at stuffing my boots in my mouth. Wiggling my shoulders, I got more comfortable against the cool stone. “Take it from the top. I promise I’m all ears now.”

I tensed when Willow’s hand touched the back of my head. She wasn’t getting any more free shots. I tensed even further when those skinny fingers started combing through my hair.

“Well, I was just saying how hard it is to ask someone if they’re seeing someone else,” Willow murmured. “I can’t just go up and ask her.”

“Why not?” I asked. “Sounds simple enough. All you gotta do is go up to ‘em and ask.” She was all wound up over this, but it didn’t sound that hard to me.

“Right.” Willow’s feet kicked restlessly next to me. “I may be Suave Willow these days, but I’m sure the old Vowel Sound Me would show up the second I tried.”

I turned around, patting her leg awkwardly. “Try it on me.”

“What?” Her voice squeaked, and I grinned.

“Pretend I’m your girl. Ask me if I’m seeing anyone.” Her eyes were so wide, it was possible they might pop out. “I promise I won’t bite, Red. And I won’t laugh, either. We’ll make sure you get it right. I don’t want you missing out on Valentine’s Day.”

Willow wasn’t fully on board. In fact, she had a “deer in the headlights” look.

Pushing away from the stone, I held my arms out. “See, here I am, just hanging out. Enjoying the thrill of being young, hot, and Faith. You come up to me and you say…”

“HiFaithareyouseeinganyone?” she asked so fast I wasn’t sure she’d breathed.

“No, Red, I’m not.” Moving back in, I leaned into her and purred, “You interested?” It was supposed to be funny. I mean, come on. The girl needed to relax and enjoy life. Not to mention get rid of the babble.

Instead of laughing, though, she turned so white I thought she was going to pass out.

I didn’t want to have to carry her all the way back to the house. Taking her hand, I said, “This is important to you, isn’t it?”

Willow nodded almost violently.

“OK, be careful, Red. We don’t want your head to fall off.” Idly stroking her soft skin, I started talking. To her, to myself…just throwing ideas out there. “Well, if I knew who you were looking at, I could do a little asking around for ya’.”

That was a definite no. She squeaked and shook her head, looking even more panicked.

Huh. “Alright. Tell you what. Let’s get home and catch some z’s. For some crazy reason, B wants to pick me up at eight so she can drag me through the mall. While I’m nodding and agreeing with her about gifts, I’ll come up with something for you.” I dropped her hand and gently lifted her off her perch.

“Thanks, Faith.” I couldn’t tell in the crappy light of the cemetery, but I didn’t think she looked all that convinced of my skills.

***

“Which one do you like better, Faith?” For the hundredth time, Buffy held two necklaces out for me and smiled.

Shifting on my aching feet, I pretended to look real close at the damned things. “This one.” I pointed at the one on her right, praying we’d be done soon.

She frowned. That was bad. That meant –

“No. I don’t think I like either of these. Let’s look some more. Maybe something will just jump out and scream, ‘Paula will love me!’”

More likely, I’d be the one screaming – in frustration. “Sure, B. Whatever you want.” At least if we were wandering through every shop in the mall for the third time, I could keep probing for information.

We joined the throng of other desperate-looking, mostly middle-aged male, shoppers. “Can we get back to Red?”

“Did we leave her somewhere?” Buffy looked up and damned if she wasn’t smirking.

“B!” I’d had it. I wasn’t going to go off about the pointless shopping. After all, I’d agreed to come. I wasn’t letting her tease about her best friend, though. I…we had to help.

The smirk disappeared. Mostly. “Sorry, Faith. You were saying?”

“I’ve been trying to tell you all day that Red’s fucking upset.” Stomping my swollen feet, I growled, “We gotta find out if her new love interest is already hooked up. I just…” I scowled and stopped stomping. It hurt too badly. “I just don’t know who she’s looking at.”

“Who’s on the short list?” Buffy asked as she ducked into another store.

Resigning myself to more waiting, I plodded after her. “Well, it has to be one of the Juniors. Red wasn’t big on sharing, but I do know it’s a girl.” While Buffy peered through the glass at the jewelry, I tossed out some names. “Johnna or Denise?”

“Nope.” At first, I thought Buffy’s disagreement was for my choices in Slayers. My bad. “Nothing good here. Let’s go.”

“Right.” I followed her out of the store. “There’s that new kid. What’s her name? The tall, skinny one?” I could see her in my head: bean pole tall and weighing about fifteen pounds.

Buffy shook her head. “That’s Rachel. Definitely not. When she found out Will was bisexual, I thought we were going to have trouble.”

“She didn’t say anything to Red, did she?” I’d have a talk with her if she had.

“No.” Buffy was smirking again. “Johnna’s a no, too. She’s been dating some guy from the college for months.” She latched onto my arm and pulled me into yet another store. Goody. Lingerie, this time. Trying to imagine – in a virginal way – how Paula would look in some lacey teddy was my favorite.

Sure enough, Buffy grabbed the lace.

I tried to steer her back to Willow’s problem while she shopped. “I told Red to just ask her girl about being available.”

“How’d that work out?” Buffy’s voice sounded funny. Kinda shaky.

I looked up. She was buried in piles of underwear. Buffy must be getting turned on by all the thongs. “Red freaked and said something about vowel sounds. We did a little role- playing, though. I had her ask me. You know. Practice for the real thing.”

Hands full of stuff I was not imagining even near Paula, Buffy spun and stared at me. Just as fast, she turned around. What the fuck? Her shoulders were trembling. “Buffy? Hey, we’ll find something for your girl. Soon.”

“I’m…I’m fine.” She coughed a couple of times. “Did Will do OK with the question?”

It took me a minute to get back on track. Still watching Buffy closely for tears, I answered, “I’m not sure she used English.”

Buffy giggled. “She hasn’t done that in a long time.” She tossed all the clothes back on the table, except for two matching sets.

I braced. I knew what was coming.

“Which one do you like best?” She held them up.

Not bothering to think, I pointed to the one on her left. “That one.”

“Really?” Buffy beamed at me. “Me, too. Thanks, Faith.” She trotted toward the register, and I restrained the urge to do a victory dance. Shopping Day was over.

While she was gone, I cleaned up the mess Buffy had made of the stuff on the table. Hmmm, some of it felt really nice. If I had to do a repeat trip with Willow, I’d bring her here first. I stopped folding and looked at the miniscule g-string in my hands. Then again, maybe not. I didn’t want Willow to blush to death.

I felt Buffy coming back and tossed the last pair down. “Want me to drive you home, B?”

“No. I called Paula. She’s picking me up on her way home from work.” Buffy must have forgotten how early it was.

“B, come on. It’s only…” I looked at my watch. Fuck. “Well, OK. I guess it is kinda late.” We’d been in the mall for over eight hours. “I’ll leave you here, then.”

She wandered off, and I thought about what to do with my suddenly free evening. Pulling the keys from my pocket, I trotted for the door. If I hurried, Willow would still be in her office at the Council building. I’d swing by there and see if she wanted to do dinner and talk about her problem.

***

Poking my head around the doorframe, I saw Willow sprawled back in her massive chair, feet on the desk and laptop on her thighs. “Hey, Red.”

Her head popped up from behind the screen. “How did you do in the mall?”

I groaned and minced across the floor. “I may never walk again, but B got the damned gift.” The chair felt so good when I sat down that I closed my eyes in bliss. “If she asks next year, I’m saying no.”

“No, you won’t.” She was right, damn it. Her chair creaked, and I heard soft footfalls come around the desk. “You don’t normally hang out here unless you’re teaching class. What’s the occasion?”

Prying my eyes open, I squinted up at her. “Thought maybe I could take you to dinner.”

She lit up. “Really?”

Did I have “liar” tattooed to my forehead? “Really, Red.” I got to my feet, hiding my wince as my toes protested. “Tell me what you’re in the mood for, and we’re there.” I put my hand on her back and steered her to the door. “I thought we could do a little work on getting you and your girl together before the big day.”

All of her enthusiasm dried up. Suddenly, it was like shoving an elephant across the room. “Oh,” she mumbled. “We don’t have to do that. You’re tired.”

“I’m a Slayer, Red. Tired?” I snorted. “It ain’t like B and me fought our way through a nest. I just walked and nodded, like you said. I promised to help, that’s all. If you don’t want to talk about it, though, we can still go to dinner.”

That got me a shy smile. “Just dinner, then, please.”

“It’s a date.” Wrapping an arm around her waist, I maneuvered us down the stairs and outside.

“A date?” Willow echoed as I unlocked and opened her door. “I’ll be famous. They’ll put my name in some kind of Watcher-y type book. The only girl to ever get a date with the Dark Slayer.”

Rolling my eyes, I trotted around to the driver’s side. “You’re a riot, Red. Make sure they get the information right, though. You’re the only date, period. I’m not big on small talk.” I flashed her one of my old Bad Girl smirks. “I’m more of a ‘down to business’ girl.”

Her eyebrows shot up, and I waited for a reply. It didn’t come, so I started the car and headed toward downtown. After a couple of minutes, she started giving me directions. When I pulled up outside the Peking Surprise, I shook my head. “I think I’ve been had.”

“Huh?” Willow wasn’t following my point.

“I’ve eaten in some scary places. This, though,” I jerked my thumb at the rundown little hole, “is worse than some of the shelters in Southie. The big surprise’ll be if we don’t end up in the hospital with food poisoning.”

Scowling, Willow climbed out of the car and stalked up to the front doors. I scrambled to follow.

“They have the best vegetable lo mein in town,” she grumbled as I pulled the heavy door open for her.

I wisely didn’t mention that vegetables and noodles pretty much tasted the same anywhere.

“And it’s cheap.” I sensed a Willow rant in the making. “And…” Willow trailed off, suddenly blushing.

Ah, this might be more interesting… “And what, Red? Are you looking outside the family these days? Am I going to get an intro to your girl in here?”

I guessed eye rolling was contagious. Willow’s green eyes rolled around as she said, “No, Faith. My ‘girl’ doesn’t work here. I just meant….well, no one else will bring me here. The one time I brought Buffy, she took one look at it and refused to set her brand new sandals inside.”

“I guess I’m your girl, then.” I grinned and rocked on my heels.

Willow, who’d been in the process of following the waiter, dropped her purse. Crap scattered all over the place.

Kneeling on the floor, I started picking up all the junk she’d been carrying. “Watch the carpet, Red. Sometimes it just jumps out and grabs your foot, ya’ know?” I thought it was funny.

Willow didn’t laugh, though. She was bright red, and I noticed her hands shook as she jammed what looked like a department store worth of perfume bottles back into her purse.

We finally got everything rounded up. I slid into one side of the tiny booth and watched Willow take the other. She grabbed the menu like it was one of Giles’ magic books and studied it. “Ain’t you getting the lo mein?” I unwrapped my silverware and peered at it dubiously. Buffy might have had the right idea about this place.

“Yes.” Willow tossed the menu onto the table, wiggling in her seat. “I always look, though, in case they make a change.”

“Good idea.” I didn’t mention I doubted the menu here had changed since Mao died. Tapping the tines of my fork on the table, I considered my options. Let Willow do her thing and babble about work all night, or take the initiative and try to get her to tell me about this girl she wanted to date. It was a no-brainer. “Me and B was talking about the Juniors the other day.” All right, it was more like a couple of months ago. “What do you think of Denise?”

“Denise?” Willow squinted through the dim lighting. “Short? Dark hair?”

“That’s her.” Smiling, I tried to look innocent. We were talking Slayer business, not possible girlfriends.

The long look she gave me had me thinking she was on to me. I relaxed, though, when she simply said, “The reports from the instructors have been good. She even has some latent magical abilities.”

Hmmm, maybe I’d been right about this one. “You gonna get her started on witch classes?”

“I don’t think so.” Willow paused when the waiter came back to take our orders. After he left, she started up again. “She and Giles have been talking about her leaving for her first assignment. If Giles can get over his old training, Denise is probably headed back to her family in Wyoming.”

I was watching her intently. There was nothing, not even a hint of a problem with that. In fact, she was smiling a little. It wasn’t Denise. I took a sip of my water. I couldn’t think of any of the others who weren’t openly dating someone.

“Have you met any of the girls who came in last month?” Willow asked.

“Nah. I only teach the advanced classes.” Shrugging, I admitted, “I ain’t exactly a good role model for the kiddies.”

The toe of her boot slammed into my shin.

“Fuck!” I turned sideways and pulled my legs up. “What was that for?”

“That role model crack. You aren’t that Faith anymore.” I winced at the laser-like glare she sent my way.

Still rubbing my probably bruised shin, I mumbled, “Sorry.”

She relaxed. So did I. That look had nearly set my hair on fire.

“You should at least say hi, Faith. They think you and Buffy are like Gods.” She leaned back while the waiter dropped off our food. “Besides, one of them is…well, she’s cute. Brittany. She’s from Australia. I love her accent.” Willow bent her head over her food.

Brittany from Australia. Now we were getting somewhere. “I’ll do that. Don’t the babies have classes in the morning?” Then it hit me. Babies…Willow wanted to date one of the babies. Brittany from Australia couldn’t be more than fifteen! My fork clattered against my plate.

“Something wrong, Faith?” She was watching me closely, and I couldn’t quite read her expression.

“No. No problem.” I so needed to call Buffy. We had to do something. An intervention, maybe. Picking up my escaped fork, I loaded it with Szechuan beef and stuffed it in my mouth.

Talking disappeared for a while. I was too busy eating and freaking over her choice in girlfriends. Willow was…well, she was eating and watching me. By the time my plate was clean, I was twitching under the continued look. All she did was eat and look and smile.

“What?” I couldn’t take it anymore. “I got something on my shirt?”

“Nope.” Willow’s smile grew bigger.

“Then what’s with the staring?” Putting down my fork, I leaned across the table. “Tell me, or I’m leaving you here, Red.”

She giggled. Fuck, I missed the days when the Scoobies were afraid of me.

“Red…” I tried again, letting some growl creep into my voice.

“Sorry, Faith.” That was better. She wasn’t grinning anymore. Taking my hand, she started playing with my fingers. “Thanks for trying to help. You know, with the Valentine’s thing.”

I opened my mouth to brush off the thanks.

She kept going, though. “I’ve made up my mind.”

“You gonna tell her?” I gripped her hand. “Knew you had it in you, Red.” Maybe Brittany from Australia was older…sixteen…seventeen…Willow looked happy, and I didn’t want to ruin that.

“Thanks for the big vote of confidence.” Willow let go of my hand and stood up abruptly. “You ready?”

My plate was empty. So was hers. “Sure.” I hopped up and grabbed the bill. “You got some work to do or am I taking you home?”

“You’re taking me shopping. I found the perfect gift earlier.” She bounced next to me as I paid. “And don’t worry, you won’t have to do a lot of walking.”

“Hey, I told you I’d take you shopping. If you want me to hit the mall again, I’ll be there.” I’d just get a wheelchair and roll after her. We hopped back into the car, and I followed her new set of directions.

The next thing I knew, she pointed to a glass-fronted shop. “Park right here.”

I nosed the car to the curb and killed the engine. “Where are you planning on doing some shopping?” I didn’t notice a lot in the way of lingerie, flower, or candy stores. The only thing here was a tattoo parlor. No way. “Red?”

Her grin was back. “Yep. I’m going to avoid the vowel sounds and let the ink do the talking.”

I hustled out of the car when she suddenly opened her door. “Red, you got to be kidding.” I didn’t want to spoil her mood, and I was the last person to say a tattoo was wrong. It was just…what if this girl wasn’t interested or she already had a lover?

“No. I’m not kidding. I’ve got the design all picked out.” She wrenched open the door and waltzed in to the main room.

Not two steps behind her, I kept trying to get her to see reason. “Look, can’t you do this after you do the talking? If you get the tat, it ain’t coming off.”

“Faith,” she spun, all serious now, “I want to do this. I need to do this. I want her to know I’m committed to a relationship with her.” Willow put a hand on my cheek. “It’s important she understands how much I want her.”

Slumping, I gave up. “It’s your ass, Red.”

She stepped back, giggling. “Oh, I’m not getting it on my ass. Just on my shoulder blade.”

***

At least Willow kept her promise. I didn’t have to walk. Instead, I parked myself in a chair and flipped through a book of body art designs. Huh. Maybe I’d come back and get a new one some time. The tribal on my arm was cool, but I’d been too young to get something with any real meaning.

“They’re done.” Willow was back, but not dressed. She clutched her shirt to her chest. “I have to come back in a couple of days so they can darken up the colors.”

I stood. “You gonna give me a sneak peek?” I wanted to know just how bad this could go.

She nodded, and I thought Willow looked worried for a second. Then her jaw muscles clenched and she spun around.

The small broom-riding witch caught my eye first. It was wicked work. Then I read the text above the art. It didn’t make sense. I read it again.

Willow turned around. “I thought it was appropriate. Was I wrong?” She was biting her lip and there were tears in her eyes.

Numbly, I shook my head. Her image blurred from my own tears. “Why didn’t you say something, Willow?”

“I didn’t know how.” Shrugging back into her shirt, Willow met my eyes. “This is better, somehow. I want you to know, I am exactly what the tattoo says.” She tilted her head and brushed my lips with hers. “Faith’s Little Witch.”