A New Flavor of Ice Cream

Summary: Even after the fiasco with Chip framing Tony, Jenny still insists that Abby needs an assistant in the forensics lab. Abby gets revenge by hiring her cousin.

Warning: I don’t know; maybe language and innuendo somewhere along the way. Non-canon (at least for the TV show) pairing of Buffy/female.

Timeline: Four years post-Graduation Day (AU) BtVS; immediately after ‘Frame Up’ (episode 3:9) for NCIS.

Challenge: a thank you fic for all of TwoBlackDragons’ help with editing ‘B,B,WtD?’ Also, it fulfills the challenge for International Day of FemSlash.

Thanks to my betas: zigpal, AerynSpeedleCaine and AshDawnSoulmates.

Disclaimer: BtVS characters belong to Joss Whedon / Mutant Enemy. NCIS characters belong to Donald Bellisario, Don McGill and CBS Paramount Television. Ice cream flavors come from Ben & Jerry’s. I claim no rights to any copyrighted material. Please do not copy or take this story without my permission.

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Abby’s lab

Director Jenny Shepard ignored the death-glare from Gibbs as she addressed her forensic tech, “Despite the unfortunate circumstances with your previous assistant, it is still necessary for you to get somebody to help you, Miss Scuito.”

Abby couldn’t stop herself from scoffing incredulously, “‘Unfortunate circumstances’? The guy used my lab to frame Tony!” she practically screamed.

“Regardless, either you find somebody or I will. Good day,” Shepard replied before turning and leaving the lab, Gibbs hot on her heels.

“Grr. ‘Either find somebody or I will.’ What a-- UGH!” Abby snarled to herself, wishing she could bring herself to swear. She hated the idea of letting somebody else come in and mess with her babies. If only she could think of somebody she trusted…

Just then her phone rang, and as she looked at the caller ID, Abby’s face broke open in a wide grin. This was perfect! “Cuz! You have the best timing, do you know that?” There was a slight pause as she listened to her cousin talk, then she said, “I was just informed that I have to get an assistant here at the lab. How would you feel about coming to DC?” There was another short pause. “I know you went into forensics for a reason, but think about how much you could learn if you worked with me awhile.”

When it seemed like she was making headway, Abby pulled out the big guns. “Please, cuz?” she pleaded, putting just the right amount of pout into her voice. “Great! I’ll see you in a couple days then!”

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NCIS bullpen

A couple days later…

Once they were done in the Director’s office, Abby pulled her cousin down into the bullpen for the usual meet and greet. “I’d like to introduce everyone to my new assistant, Buffy Summers,” she announced chirpily. The fact she was happy about getting an assistant wasn’t lost on any of them.

Buffy waved at the group with a bright smile on her face. “Hey there. Abbs says you guys are the best, and it’s always good to learn from the best.”

“Good to meet you, Miss Summers. Hope you’re better than the last guy,” Gibbs welcomed her with a steely glint in his eyes. Despite the impression that Abby was happy about this, he was still wary about strangers in his group.

Seeing the challenge in his eyes, Buffy met it head on. When the staring contest was called a draw, she replied airily, “Shouldn’t be too hard; I don’t plan on framing anyone. Call me Buffy,” she told everyone.

Ziva studied the closeness of the two females and remarked, “You appear to know Abby pretty well.”

“I was just noticing that myself,” Ducky concurred.

Abby linked her arm with Buffy’s again to give it a squeeze. “That’s because she’s my cousin. Her dad and my mom are brother and sister.”

“And both of you decided to go into forensic science?” Tony said with a raised eyebrow. “That seems a little strange.”

Buffy just shrugged in response, “Not really. I saw how interesting it was for my big cousin, and figured, ‘Why not?’” She didn’t add that she had her own plans for using her new knowledge to help with slaying. Even though she wasn’t the ‘active’ Slayer anymore, Buffy was still on the lookout for any way to make it easier for the future girls.

“Excuse me, but I have to say, I don’t see any family resemblance,” McGee hesitantly spoke up for the first time.

Glaring at him, Abby snapped, “What do you mean? We have the same eyes!”

Nudging her cousin with her elbow, Buffy defended the semi-scared computer geek, “I think he was thrown off by our height difference and hair color, Abbs. It’s totally unfair that you got the height and brains of the family,” she pouted.

“Sez ‘Miss Dean’s List Four Years in a Row’” her cousin retorted with more than a hint of pride in her voice. “You’re not exactly a slouch in the brains department, lil’ cuz. Besides, have I complained about your physical abilities? …Much?” Abby amended after an arched eyebrow from the petite blonde.

Ducky’s mind went an entirely different route than Tony or even McGee’s with that phrase. While Tony’s eyes glazed over, McGee started blushing profusely. Gibbs just smirked and contained his amusement. “Physical abilities, Abigail?” the ME inquired.

“Yeah, Buffy’s a wicked cool fighter! I bet she could even give you a run for your money, Ziva,” Abby declared challengingly.

Now Ziva’s eyes glazed over – though for a different reason than Tony’s – as she imagined a fighter good enough to compete with her. It had been a long time since she had a worthy opponent. “Really? I look forward to testing that then.”

“My cousin has a big mouth!” Buffy growled at the uncaring female in question. “I’m decent at different forms of martial arts.”

Gibbs cut in before Ziva could issue the challenge right there and then, “Good to hear. It’s always helpful to have people who can defend themselves. How did the Director take the news that your cousin was joining us?”

“She doesn’t know yet?” Abby answered with almost a sheepish expression. It would have been more believable if she didn’t have a smug look in her eyes though. “I just gave her Buffy’s resume and recommendations from college. I guess between those and the fact I wasn’t fighting her, she didn’t bother to ask.”

Still annoyed that Abby was forced into this, Gibbs was proud of the way his ‘daughter’ handled it. “Good.”

~~~~~~

On stakeout

A couple months later…

“…I’m just saying that it isn’t as easy for two people of the same sex to fake intimacy as it is for a man and woman,” Tony finished spouting off as they kept an eye on the building with their two suspects.

Ziva shot him a disbelieving look. “So you think that you can tell just by seeing our suspects kiss whether they are truly lovers or not?”

“Of course! I happen to be a master at reading female body language,” he declared smugly.

“Really? Then what does my body language right now tell you?” she shot back.

Tony looked at her and shrunk back in his seat. “That it’s time to end this conversation?” he guessed.

“Pretty close,” was Ziva’s ominous reply.

~~~~~~

NCIS Bullpen

The next day…

As she exited the elevator, Ziva was still bristling over Tony’s boast the night before. Seeing somebody that could help her with her experiment, she called out, “Buffy! Can you come over here for a moment?”

“Sure. What’s the what?” Buffy inquired, bouncing over to the Mossad officer. Over the past couple months, they had become good friends and sparring partners.

Just as Tony looked up from his computer, he saw Ziva grab Abby’s cousin  and lay a passionate kiss on her. At first he thought it was payback for his comment about fake intimacy, but when the tiny blonde pulled her back in for another one, he wasn’t so sure anymore.

Pulling away for air, Buffy gasped out, “What was that for?”

Ziva’s own mind was a little fuzzy from the kisses. “It started out as trying to prove to Tony that he could not necessarily tell a real lesbian kiss from a staged one.”

“And now?” Buffy asked, hearing the ‘but’ in Ziva’s voice.

“Now I am not sure,” Ziva admitted. Her brain cells finally gathered enough coherence to ask her own question, “Why did you kiss me back?”

“Just felt good to me,” Buffy replied with a shrug of her shoulders. “You don’t mind, do you? I know you’re Israeli, but I guess I don’t know about your religious beliefs.” She really hope she didn’t offend her friend.

It took a second for Ziva to respond, “I follow some of the laws and customs of my homeland; however, I would say that was more for cultural reasons than religious. And although homosexuality is not encouraged, neither is it grounds for a death sentence – unless it’s with an enemy agent and not part of an assignment. But that has more to do with the enemy agent part.”

~~~~~~

Later that day…

Running down the hallway to catch up to her prey, Abby yelled, “Ziva?”

Ziva stopped and turned around when she heard her name called. “Yes?”

“I heard about you and Buffy.” Abby held up her hand when it looked like Ziva was going to speak. “Before you say anything, let me just tell you this: if you do anything to hurt her, I will make sure there isn’t enough forensic evidence left to even prove that you died. Got me?”

Nodding slightly, Ziva was impressed by the glare she was receiving. It wasn’t quite as deadly as some she had gotten in the past, but it was still good. “I believe I understand. While I cannot guarantee never to cause her emotional or physical harm, I will attempt to avoid it.”

Abby narrowed her eyes dangerously. “Why did you say physical harm?”

“We spar regularly; injuries are a normal part of that – for both of us,” Ziva clarified, moving Abby’s glare up a couple spots on her threat list. There was hope for the perky woman after all.

“Oh, okay then.” Abby seemed to deflate with the explanation. “Just keep in mind how much I love my cousin. You are the first serious relationship she’s had in years…and the first ever relationship she’s had with a woman.”

Despite her habit of keeping quiet about her past, Ziva wanted to make Abby feel more comfortable. She really liked the tiny blonde and looked forward to having a relationship free of the Mossad. It was this desire that made her answer, “As she is my first relationship with a woman. I have dealt with women in the course of my duties as Mossad, but those were assignments.”

Abby stared into Ziva’s eyes, trying to judge the other woman’s genuineness. She must have liked what she saw because she said, “Then I’ll give you some tips about Buffy. First, she loves to go dancing. Her favorite food is Mexican. Even though she’s a kick-ass fighter, she’s very caring. Oh, when you talk to her mom, remember to…”

Gibbs listened to the conversation die out as the two brunettes got onto the elevator. Not even a month and Summers was already breaking rule #12. What made it worse was he knew he couldn’t even say anything to her about it. Damn if that girl wasn’t the most stubborn individual he’d met since…well, himself. He shrugged, maybe it would work out better for them.

~~~~~~

Ziva’s apartment

That evening…

“So, heard my cousin gave you the shovel speech,” Buffy casually remarked at the end of their second movie.

Her choice of words confused Ziva though. “The ‘shovel speech’?”

Buffy mentally smacked herself for forgetting that Ziva was still learning Americanisms; throwing Scooby-isms into the mix right now was totally unfair. “Yeah. The whole ‘hurt my friend/family and I’ll make you suffer unthinkable torments’ speech.”

“She simply stated that she would not leave enough physical evidence for anyone to declare me dead.” Ziva’s look turned approving as she continued, “For somebody so annoyingly happy, she can be somewhat intimidating at times.”

“That’s my cuz!” Buffy declared proudly. “Still, she must like you ‘cause I didn’t get any ‘suggestions’ to stay away from you.”

“Abby did give me some hints on how to win you over,” Ziva confessed, hoping she wasn’t getting Abby into trouble.

Buffy’s eyes lit up in understanding. “Ahhh, so that’s how we ended up with the chick-flick marathon and my favorite choice of dinner. Cool. Since you have the inside scoop on me, how do I catch up in learning your likes and dislikes?”

“You can just ask me,” Ziva answered bluntly. “If it is something too private, I will let you know.”

“Fair enough. Let’s start easy…umm, do you even like chick-flick movies?” she asked, pointing to the stack in front of them.

Deciding honesty was the best policy, Ziva admitted, “Maybe not so many at once. If I had a choice, action is more my interest.”

“Okie-dokie. Next date night is all-action night.” Buffy blushed at the unintended double entendre. “Movie-wise, that is.” She fidgeted for a couple minutes before blurting out, “Alright, normally I wouldn’t be this blunt about things, but it’s kinda driving me nuts.”

“What is?” Ziva inquired, totally lost at the change in her demeanor.

“The thousand-pound pink gorilla in the room,” Buffy declared.

Ziva took a quick look around for the beast, then worried that Buffy was drugged somehow – despite them not even having alcohol with dinner. “What?”

Once Buffy stopped giggling, she apologized, “Sorry, metaphor. It means the big topic of discussion that is staring us in the face, but we are pretending not to notice. In this case, the whole girl-girl interaction between us.”

Still bewildered, Ziva replied, “I am not sure I understand what you are trying to say.”

“I’ve never dated a girl before,” Buffy stated plainly, then added, “Heck, I’ve barely dated any guys.”

That confession surprised the brunette. “Why? You are very attractive. There must have been many opportunities for you.”

“I had a bad experience in high school and have been a little gun-shy since then. Plus, while I was in college, I wanted to focus more on my studies. Prove to myself that it wasn’t just a fluke that I got into Northwestern because of my SATs,” Buffy replied with a hint of embarrassment. “After I made the Dean’s list the first time, I liked the feeling so much that I kept going.”

Proud that she had opened up so much, Ziva chose to do the same. “You are the first person that I have dated who was in no way tied to my duties in the Mossad. Either I was told to get ‘close’ to somebody as part of an assignment, or the relationship was set up by my father, the Director of the Mossad,” she confided.

Buffy couldn’t imagine being told who to date or seduce for Slayer reasons. The closest Giles ever came was telling her she couldn’t date. “Ouch. Tough gig to deal with. Did you learn to care for any of them?” she inquired softly, unsure which answer she wanted to hear.

Ziva hesitated before answering, “Yes…and no. Because my first loyalty had to be to the Mossad, I could never let myself forget that someday I would have to leave them behind.”

“Wouldn’t that be the same thing with me?” Buffy asked. “I mean, if your dad told you to go home--”

Cutting her off, Ziva replied earnestly, “It would be the first time I regretted following orders. Even before we kissed, there was something about you that intrigued me. It is difficult to explain…”

“We’re like kindred spirits?” When Ziva looked confused at the term, Buffy clarified, “We think and feel the same way.”

Ziva smiled and nodded, “Yes. What confuses me is how that is possible. I am a trained assassin and you are not.”

Taking a deep breath and letting it out, Buffy prepared herself for the ‘big reveal’. “Well, that depends on your willingness to be open-minded. Abby knows this about me and said I should trust you with my secret.”

“Really? I did not think she liked me all that much. Or trusted me for that matter,” Ziva said, the hurt in her voice barely noticeable.

Buffy took her hand and gave it a squeeze. “She’s letting you date me. That’s as big as it gets in the liking and trusting department where she’s concerned. She’s just afraid of letting you in because of what happened to Kate.” She paused for a second, then went on, “This is something that you can’t tell the others – not even Gibbs.”

“Does it put the team in jeopardy?” Ziva demanded, not willing to keep that kind of secret.

Shaking her head slowly, Buffy said, “Not exactly. If I thought it did, I would tell them. It’s more that I’m not sure they’d believe me.”

Still unsure, Ziva gestured for the blonde to continue. “Go ahead.”

“Alright. I’ll just give you the official spiel.” Buffy thought for a moment, trying to remember the exact wording.

‘This world is older than we know. Contrary to popular mythology, it did not begin as a paradise. For untold eons demons walked the Earth. They made it their home, their... their Hell. But in time they lost their purchase on this reality. The way was made for mortal animals, for man. All that remains of the Old Ones are vestiges, certain magicks, certain creatures.

‘The books tell the last demon to leave this reality fed off a human, mixed their blood. He was a human form possessed, infected by the demon's soul. He bit another, and another, and so they walk the Earth, feeding... Killing some, mixing their blood with others to make more of their kind. Waiting for the animals to die out, and the Old Ones to return.

‘For as long as there have been vampires, there's been the Slayer. Into every generation there is a Chosen One. One girl in all the world. She alone will stand against the vampires, the demons and the forces of darkness. She is the Slayer.’

As she said the words, ‘She is the Slayer’, Ziva joined her in the familiar phrase. “So, you were a Potential?” the brunette guessed.

Startled by the turn of events, Buffy shook her head, “Umm, no. I’m actually a Slayer. How did you know about this?” she asked.

“I was a Potential,” Ziva answered simply. “My father insisted that I get trained by Mossad as well as the Watchers. When I was not Called, I just continued my Mossad training. How were you able to go to college? How are you still alive after this long?” she almost babbled her questions.

“‘Cause I’m not the only one anymore.” Knowing that Ziva would need more than that, Buffy explained, “About a year and a half after I was Called, there was this prophecy and I died. It was only for a few minutes, and my friend Xander brought me back with CPR, but it was long enough to Call the next Slayer. Kendra died a year later and Faith was Called. Faith – then Vi when Faith died – took over the Hellmouth, and I just slay when necessary. If it’s really bad, they call me for extra muscle. Wow, this went a lot smoother than I expected,” she said, breathing a sigh of relief.

Ziva smirked as she put the pieces together. “I guess that would explain why I feel so drawn to you. We are very much alike after all. Our targets are different, but we are both trained killers.”

Unhappy with the wording, Buffy corrected her, “I prefer to see myself as a protector instead of a killer. To me, the difference is crucial. A killer kills just because they can – or whatever reason they come up with – but we do it to keep others safe.” She leaned back into the sofa, glad to have that over with. “So, tell me a little something about yourself. For example, how did you join NCIS?”

Ziva gave Buffy a brief history of her life, then surprised herself by telling her the whole truth about Ari. “… When I saw Ari was about to kill Gibbs, it really hit home that he was not just my brother; he was my enemy. Until that point, I had held on to the hope that there was a reasonable excuse for everything he did.”

“I’m sorry that you had to do that. It’s the hardest to kill somebody you love,” Buffy said sympathetically.

At first Ziva was going to ask what Buffy knew about it, then realized she already knew the answer. “I suppose you would know about that. There were probably times when a friend or family member had been turned and you had to deal with it.”

“A few…but I was thinking more about when I had to kill somebody who wasn’t evil.” Buffy went on to explain about Angel/Angelus and Acathla.

“So your monster turned back into a loved one while my loved one turned into a monster,” Ziva summarized sadly.

“Either way tears you up inside. Okay, c’mon…I think we’ve been serious long enough. We are in serious need of ice cream therapy. Do you have any here?” Buffy asked, pulling the other woman up from her seat.

“No,” Ziva managed to respond once her mind caught up with the abrupt change in conversation.

“Then get your shoes on and let’s get moving. Chop, chop! Time’s a wastin’!” the tiny blonde ordered.

~~~~~~

Ziva moaned as she ate her ice cream, “This is incredible!”

“See? Aren’t you glad I stopped you from getting the plain chocolate? Not that chocolate’s bad or anything, but it just can’t compare to Brownie Batter or Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough,” Buffy hurried to say before taking another bite of her cookie dough.

“What would they taste like combined?” Ziva wondered aloud.

Buffy got a wicked gleam in her eyes as she answered, “Let’s find out.” But instead of using her spoon to mix the flavors, she leaned over to kiss Ziva, pushing her tongue through the Mossad officer’s lips. For several minutes, they both enjoyed the new flavor of Double Chocolate Brownie Cookie Dough.

When they broke for air, Ziva declared huskily, “Definitely a new flavor they should market.”

Nodding her agreement, Buffy then shook her head. “Mmm, I like the idea of keeping this to ourselves. After all, they don’t have essence of Ziva or Buffy to add to the mix – and I don’t want to share you.”

“Me either,” Ziva agreed, scooping a bite of Brownie Batter into Buffy’s mouth before stealing some cookie dough for herself. After they had a minute to savor the taste, she captured the blonde’s lips for another passionate kiss.

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A/N: This is just a oneshot. I only used the family angle as a plot device to get Buffy to NCIS.