Remember Me 1/?
Disclaimers: Jerry's not mine, damn it
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CHAPTER 1
It’s been getting easier coming to work. I can even work
with Sara without even thinking that we even dated up
until three months ago. Luckily, only Greg knew we
were dating because he walked in on us making out in
the locker room. The guys just think it's status quo
ever since our blowup over Eddie's case.
Although work is better than home, Lindsay barely
talks to me. She blames me for Sara and I breaking up.
Sara didn't even have the nerve to break up with me to
my face. I found a note in my locker that just said
'We're Done'. I went home and told Lindsay that Sara
may not be around for awhile.
I went to the locker room to pick up my shit before
heading home. I passed Greg in the hall, and he has
been giving me the same treatment as Lindsay. I
honestly don't blame him considering he is Sara's best
friend. I grabbed my jacket and purse when my phone
rang.
"Willows," I answered.
"Catherine Willows?" a voice asked.
"Yes, what can I do for you?"
"There has been an accident,"
"Lindsay, is she alright?"
"This is about Sara Sidle, she has been in a car
accident. You're her emergency contact,"
"Is she okay?"
"It's too early to tell,"
That was the last thing I heard or said as I
dropped the phone and collapsed to the floor.
"Catherine, what's wrong?" Warrick asked. I looked up
at him, but I couldn't speak. He saw my phone and
checked to see who it was. "What?" he asked. He talked
for a couple minutes before hanging up. "Catherine, I'll
be right back," Warrick said, touching my shoulder.
I realize that I haven't stopped crying since I heard the news.
The guys came in and saw I was still on the floor. Warrick
picked me up to carry me to his car.
“Greg," I mumbled.
"What?" Warrick asked.
"Tell Greg," I replied. Nick said he would do it.
Warrick opened the door and placed me in the
passenger's seat and buckled me in. "Cath, what's
going on? I don't understand your reaction to Sara. I
love Sara, but you are positively catatonic," Warrick
said.
"Lindsay," I muttered.
He called
take Lindsay to school.
We pulled up to the hospital, and Warrick had me
wait in the car. He came out with a nurse and a
wheelchair. They admitted me for shock and sedated me
to keep me calm. "Cath, I called
going to take care of Lindsay. She said she would stop
by after dropping her off," Warrick said.
My body must have had enough because when I woke up
Lindsay was in bed with me. "Hi Mom, are you feeling
better?" she asked.
"Yeah, I'm sorry for scaring you guys. Is there any news
on Sara?" I asked.
"It's going to be touch and go for awhile, but she made
it through surgery," Warrick said.
"Am I allowed to see her?" I asked.
"Yes, but not
for very long,"
Warrick wheeled me
to her room while
on Lindsay. She was hooked up to a respirator and a heart monitor.
She also had a broken arm and leg. I rolled over to her
bed. "Sara, I don't know if you can hear me, but I'm
sorry," I said as the door opened.
"Who the hell are you, and why are you in my
girlfriend's room?" this woman asked.
"I'm Catherine Willows, I work with Sara," I said.
"I know about you, and I want you to leave," she said
pointing to the door.
I wheeled myself back to my room. "Sis, what is
it?"
"I just want to go home," I said.
The doctor didn't really want to release me, but as
long as I wasn't by myself he'd allow it. Warrick
kissed my cheek before I got in the
car.
to her place which was good because I didn't want to
be alone with Lindsay right now. When we got there,
Lindsay pulled over to the couch and sat on my lap.
"Mom, I want to apologize for the way I've been
acting. I was upset that Sara left, and I took it out
on you. I know you still love her or you wouldn't have
reacted the way you did," Lindsay said giving me a
hug.
"Thank you sweetie, you have no idea how much
this helps," I said kissing her forehead as someone
knocked on the door.
to upset her, you should leave. She doesn't need it
right now,"
"I'm not, but I do need to talk to her. I promise not to upset
her," Greg said.
"Come on Linds, let them talk. Cath, I'll be in the next room
if you need anything,"
CHAPTER 2
Greg sat down in front of me and took my hand. "I'm sorry Catherine, I didn't
realize you still loved Sara until Warrick told me how he found you," Greg said.
"Thanks Greg, I'm glad Sara had someone to turn to. I'm just sorry that it took
this for me to realize that I still love her, but she has moved on," I said
starting to cry.
"Don't cry," Greg said pulling me into a hug.
"Sorry, you want some coffee?" I asked wiping my eyes.
"Yeah, so I guess you've met Robin?" he asked.
"Yeah, she kicked me out. She comes across as a bitch, but she's probably sweet and
loyal," I said smiling.
"So, she's you," Greg said laughing.
"Hey!" I said punching him in the arm.
"Sorry, but you do have to admit the similarities," he said rubbing his arm.
"Yeah I know. Hopefully nobody figures out my meltdown. I can't diffuse the
situation since I'm off for a couple days," I said.
"Don't worry about it, I'll take care of it. Although, I should go home and
get some sleep. I have to work tonight," Greg said smiling.
"Thanks for coming over Greg, it means a lot," I said giving him a hug. I showed him to the door, and after I closed it, I leaned against it and sighed.
"You
okay?"
"Better than I was this morning. I know now that Sara is in good hands, which helps. Hey, can you take Lindsay and I to the park? I could use some fresh air," I asked.
"Let's grab Linds," she said heading down the hall.
I saw
"Mom, when can I see Sara?" Lindsay asked.
"I don't know sweetie, but I do have to warn you that Sara is hooked up to machines and a little busted up," I explained.
"She's going to be okay though, right?" Lindsay asked.
"Yeah she is. Sara is the strongest person I know," I said giving her a hug
I had
I watched as Lindsay walked up to her and whisper something in her ear. She
kissed Sara's cheek before leaving her side.
"Thank you," I said as we left.
"What did you say to Sara?" I asked on the way back to the car.
"Mom, if I tell you, it won't come true," Lindsay said kissing my cheek.
After dinner, Lindsay went to her room to play. "Okay Cath now that Lindsay
is gone. How are you really
feeling?"
"Scared, if you had seen Sara. She looked fragile, and there isn't a damn thing I can do," I said putting my face in my hands.
"Come
here,"
I woke up laying against
"Morning Mom, why you guys sleep in here?" Lindsay inquired.
"We fell asleep talking,"
Lindsay was up for
breakfast, but
"Mom, can we go home? I love aunt Nancy, but I'd like to go home," Lindsay said.
"Well I could see if somebody at the lab wants to help me switch cars," I said.
We found Warrick and Nick in the middle of a game. "Hey guys," Lindsay
announced.
"Catherine, Lindsay, what's up?" Nick asked.
"Well I was
hoping one of you could help me. I have
"Seen Sara
lately?" Nick asked as we pulled out of
"Not since yesterday, Lindsay wanted to see her. I'm not exactly wanted there," I said.
"Why wouldn't you be wanted?" Nick asked.
"Long story," I said trying to kill this conversaton.
"I realize that you and Sara argue, but I don't see her having a problem with
you being there," Nick said.
"Okay, what I'm about to tell you only Greg knows at work. I"m Sara's ex, and Robin doesn't want me near her," I explained.
"What?" Nick questioned.
"We broke up after that fight over Eddie's case," I said.
"Catherine, I'm sorry. I'll let it go," Nick said touching my shoulder.
"Thanks Nick," I said giving him a hug after getting out of the car.
We headed back to the breakroom and heard Lindsay laughing. Greg was behind
the couch giving her a puppet show. "Mom, uncle Greg is really funny," Lindsay
said giving me a hug.
"Why do you think he works here," I said winking at him. I
hugged the guys before Lindsay and I left.
CHAPTER 3
The next couple days were fine, Lindsay and I got into a routine. We spent
the afternoons at the park, and watched movies at night. I think Lindsay knows
that I'm getting nervous the closer it gets for us to leave. "Mom, it's going to
be fine," she said hugging me.
"I know sweetie," I said kissing her forehead.
I dropped her off and headed for the lab. I took a deep breath before heading
inside. I stopped in the locker room to put my stuff away. I touched Sara's
locker knowing this is as close as I'm going to get.
"Welcome back Catherine," Greg said giving me a hug.
"How is she?" I asked.
"There's no change, but that is only because they have her in a medicated coma to help her heal. They say she should wake up tomorrow or the next day," Greg explained.
"Thank you Greg," I said.
Greg headed back to DNA while I made a beeline for the break room. I grabbed
a coffee to wait for assignments. "Good you're here," Gil said sitting a chair
in front of me.
"What do you need?" I asked nervously.
"Why did you react that way after hearing about Sara's accident?" Gil asked.
"I don't know. I just finished a long shift, and I remembered the last argument
that she and I had," I said not exactly lying.
"Okay, since it's your first night back. I'll let you catch up on paperwork," he said patting my leg.
That's just great, my first day back after my meltdown, and non-feeling
Grissom lets me stew in my own juices by doing paperwork. I left my door open in
case anybody wanted to talk. I realized shift was half over and decided to take
a walk to stretch my legs.
Greg motioned me into his lab as I passed it. "Here, you look like you could
use this," he said handing me a cup of coffee.
"Saving me again Greg, thank you. Can I take you out to breakfast to show my appreciation?" I asked.
"That sounds great," Greg said smiling.
I gave Greg a hug before heading back to my office. I was looking through my
desk when I came across a picture of Sara and I from Nick's surprise party. I
ran my finger over Sara before putting on top of my desk. I was smiling when
Nick walked in.
"Now there is a welcome sight," Nick said noticing my smile
. "Actually, I was I was just thinking about when this picture was taken," I said sadly.
"Catherine, it's going to be okay," he said.
"Lindsay said the same thing earlier," I said.
"See, then it's true," he said leaving.
I worked the rest of the shift without thinking about it too much. What's the
old adage? 'Everything happens for a reason.' I picked up my stuff in my locker
before heading to see if Greg was ready. I sat in his lab while he finished a
couple things he was working on.
"Nick and Lindsay seem to have the same optimism for Sara and I," I said
smiling.
"Well, all I have to say is you will have to earn it. She was really
hurt after your fight which is why she left the note," Greg explained.
"I realized how bad I hurt her when I read those two words. I just figured I
would give her time to cool off before I asked for forgiveness, but that was
until I found the note," I said explaining my side.
"Why didn't you even try after finding the note?" Greg asked.
"Eddie had just died, and I figured my energy would be better used helping
Lindsay," I said.
"Wow, you two are the dumbest smart people I know," Greg said
trying not to laugh.
"Well, I'm glad to see we could give you some amusement," I
said smiling.
I paid the bill and walked Greg to his car. "Greg do me a favor, the next
time you see Sara tell her that I love her and give her a kiss for me," I said
hugging him.
"Will do," he said opening his door.
I drove home and made myself some warm milk. I looked in my closet to see if I still had what I was looking for. I found one of Sara's night shirts that she left, and it still smelled like her. I grabbed a shower before going to bed. I curled up in bed with Sara's
shirt on and fell right asleep. I woke up to the alarm with a smile on my face
and got dressed to pick up Lindsay.
I waited outside the car for Lindsay to come out. I spotted her before she
saw me. "Mommy!" she yelled running towards me.
"Hey there sweetie, how was school?" I asked.
"It was okay, but why do you have that smile on your face?" Lindsay asked.
CHAPTER 4
Lindsay and I did our after school routine. Work was slow so I've been doing
the paperwork that continues to pile up on my desk. I decided I could use a cup
of coffee, and Greg was relaxing on the couch when I came in.
"Catherine, Sara's up, but she doesn't remember anything. You, me, working
here, nothing," Greg explained.
"What are the doctors saying?" I asked.
"They're calling it traumatic amnesia," he said.
"How's Robin taking it?" I asked.
"I don't know, she wasn't there yesterday when I stopped," he replied.
Greg left to go back to work, and I noticed that I have a couple hours to
kill. I'm trying to wrap my head around the fact that Sara has no memory of
anything. It's breaking my heart because I can't do anything to help her, but at
least she has Robin.
Thankfully, Gil has given me weekends off since Eddie died so I can spend
more time with Lindsay, and the guys understand. The last couple hours flew by
probably for the fact I kept myself busy. I figure I can grab some breakfast and
sleep before
I stopped at my usual haunt to eat. The waitress was trying to make small
talk, but I wasn't exactly in the talking mood. I just found out that my ex
doesn't remember me or anything for that matter. I paid my bill and headed for
my car when my phone rang.
"Willows," I answered.
"Miss Willows, can you come to the hospital?" the woman asked.
"Is Sara okay?"
"Yeah, but nobody has been to see her since her friend Greg left,"
"What about her girlfriend, Robin?"
"Nobody has seen her since Sara woke up,"
"Okay, I'm on my way,"
I hung up and had to stop myself from crying. I needed to be strong for Sara.
I called
stood outside her room afraid to go in.
"Miss Willows," the nurse said surprising me.
"Yeah," I said turning around.
"I'm guessing from the hesistating that you and Sara are more than friends?" she
asked.
"Sara is my ex-girlfriend. We broke up over a work related argument," I
explained.
"She doesn't remember that. Sara needs people familiar with her to be there
for her," the nurse said.
"Is it okay if my daughter comes by later? She and Sara are really close," I asked.
"Yeah that's fine, maybe she could bring pictures of Sara with you and her friends," she said patting my arm before walking away.
I called
after noon. I took a couple deep breaths before opening the door. "Hi Sara, my
name is Catherine. We work together," I said fighting back tears.
"I know, Greg gave me a picture of the whole gang," Sara said smiling.
"I'm not exactly sure how I should act around you," I said returning her smile.
"We just talk, that's all," she said.
"Okay, but I feel I should warn you. My daughter is coming by later," I explained.
"I take it your daughter and I hung out?" Sara inquired.
"Not exactly, we used to date, and Lindsay just loved spending time with you," I replied.
"What happened? Why did we break up?" she asked.
"You were working a case that involved my ex-husband," I said starting to cry.
"Catherine please don't cry. Someone as beautiful as you should never cry,"
Sara said sweetly.
"Sorry, anyway you closed the case without finding the person
responsible for killing him. We both said hurtful things that caused you to
leave me a note saying we were over," I explained.
"That's why Robin was here when I woke up," Sara said.
"Yeah, where is she now?" I asked.
"I don't know. I haven't seen her since I woke up," she said.
"I know you don't remember the argument, but I never got to tell you that I was
sorry for what I said," I explained.
"Thank you, but I wondering if you could tell me your favorite Sara work
story?" Sara asked.
"It was shortly after you started. We were all working this quadruple homicide with two survivors. Grissom had you take care of the little girl that was involved. We were discussing the case trying to figure out what happened. Someone asked you where the little girl was. You told us that you left her in the car. We all looked at you, and then you told us not to worry because you left the windows cracked. Which caused us to give you another look, and then you told us to calm down that she was at the hospital. Warrick and Nick burst into laughter after finding you were making jokes," I said.
CHAPTER 5
Sara started laughing after I finished my story, and I realized that I miss
this smiling face in my life. We were both laughing when the door opened, and
Lindsay walked in with
this is my sister Nancy and my daughter Lindsay," I said introducing them.
"Hi Sara, my mom told me to bring this for you," Lindsay said handing her the
album.
"Lindsay, do you want to sit up here and tell me about the pictures?"
Sara asked.
"Mom?" Lindsay asked.
"As long as it's alright with Sara," I said. I picked her up and placed her on Sara's good side.
"Sara, can you keep an eye on Lindsay? I want to grab something to eat," I
asked.
"Yeah, I'm sure Lindsay has some stories about her and I," Sara answered
smiling as Nancy and I headed for the cafeteria.
"So what happened to Robin?"
"From what the nurse told me, she hasn't been here since Sara woke up," I explained.
"That's why
you got the call this morning,"
"Yeah, Sara hadn't had any visitors since Greg left yesterday," I said.
"So what is your plan?"
"Help her, take care of her, and whatever else I can do to make her feel she's not alone," I replied.
"What about when she remembers? What happens if she doesn't want anything to
do with you?"
"I don't care if she remembers tomorrow. I love her, and I just want her to be happy," I said as a tear ran down my face.
"Maybe you
should tell her that,"
"What, that I love her?" I asked.
"Yeah, it
couldn't hurt,"
We headed back up to Sara's room, and I heard Lindsay's distinctive laugh. I
walked into the room, and Sara was tickling Lindsay. "Mom, can you get Sara to
stop?" Lindsay asked laughing.
"I'm guessing that you asked for it, so no," I said smiling.
I turned my head to wipe the tears that were falling seeing a sight I haven't
seen in awile.
"Come here, Linds. Sis, we'll be back
tomorrow,"
touching my hand.
"Catherine, why are you crying?" Sara asked.
"When I came in, it was like old times before I screwed up," I said wiping my eyes.
"What do mean?" Sara asked.
"The way you were with Lindsay. You two were always laughing about something, and she loved using you as a pillow," I explained.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you," she said fighting a yawn.
"No it's okay. Get some sleep, I'll still be here when you wake up," I said tucking her in.
I picked up the album and sat down in the chair to look through it. I
switched my phone to vibrate so I don't wake up Sara. I must have fallen asleep
because I was covered up, and Sara was talking on my phone.
"Oh, she just woke up, you want to talk to her. Here," Sara said handing me the phone.
"Hello," I answered.
"Catherine, you're late for work," Gil said.
"Shit, I'm sorry. I'll be there shortly,"
"No, stay there. It's slow tonight,"
"Okay, but how are you going to explain my absence?"
"Family emergency,"
"Thanks Gil,"
"Your welcome, but we do need to talk,"
"Okay, bye Gil,"
"Bye Catherine, take care of Sara,"
"Okay, I'm guessing from the smile on your face, you have the night off?"
Sara said smiling.
"Yes I do, but I have a couple questions. Who covered me up, and how long were you talking to Grissom?" I asked.
"Well, a nurse and about twenty minutes. He seemed surprised that we used to date," Sara explained.
"Shit, that is why he wants to talk. Don't worry it's not your fault, I
should have told before now," I said touching Sara's hand.
"All right you two, time for bed. Miss Willows, you can sleep on this," the nurse said wheeling in a foldaway bed.
"Thank you, but I should call my sister and tell her what's going on," I said.
"Fine, Sara make sure she's not on the phone too long, and for further
reference my name is Sasha," she said leaving.
"Is she always like that?" I asked.
"Yeah, but did you notice that she left me in charge," Sara said laughing.
"Yeah, I
noticed," I said as I speed dialed
"Catherine, can I ask a favor?" Sara asked.
"Ask and I'll see what I can do," I said.
"Can you hold my hand until I fall asleep?" she inquired.
"I'd love to," I said.
"Sleep, Now!" Sasha said popping her head in.
I held her hand watching her sleep, and I yawned as I laid my head on my
pillow. I couldn't help but smile knowing it felt like old times, and at least I
get a night off before my heart-to-heart with Grissom.
I heard laughter before I opened my eyes when I woke up. "Greg!" I said surprised shooting up in bed.