Secrets
Author: Tim
Pairing: Sa/C
Rating: varies, adult content and language
Spoliers: early Season 5
Disclaimers: Jerry's, not mine dammit
AN: everyone has secrets. if you want to find out what theirs are, I guess you
will have to ask. (Sara's POV)
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CHAPTER 1
Okay, grab a shower, get dressed, and head over to Catherine's to pick up
Lindsay. I still can't believe that Catherine lets me take her daughter out
every once in awhile. I figured after Eddie's case, our tenative friendship was
gone, but I ran into Lindsay at the lab one day. We got to talking, and I
explained that I did my best to try to put the bad people who hurt her dad away.
She told me that Catherine had told her the same thing. We talked about how much
her and Catherine were fighting with each other. I told her that her mom loved
her, but between her acting up and Catherine's schedule, she was trying to keep
her life from falling apart.
I got a call from Catherine the afternoon after Lindsay and I talked. She
thanked me for whatever I told her and wanted to know if I would like to hang
out with Lindsay occasionally. I told her that I would love to, and Catherine
and I became better to one another at work because of the time I have spent with
Lindsay.
Anyway, Lindsay just wanted to hang out today so I figure we'll probably just
go to the park. I got dressed in my faded Harvard t-shirt and a pair of jeans. I
check to make sure I have my wallet, keys, and sunglasses before heading out.
I pulled into Catherine's driveway and was greeted to Lindsay running towards
me. I saw that Catherine was standing in the doorway. She looked a little
ragged, but it didn't take away from her obvious beauty. She held out Lindsay's
bag so I ran up to get it while Lindsay buckled herself in. I guess I'll ask
Lindsay if her mom is okay.
The ride to the park was spent with Lindsay and I singing along to the radio.
She wanted to take a walk first when we got there. I carried her around piggy
back while she told me how her week at school went. That's another thing
Catherine is happy about. I've been helping Lindsay with her homework and her
grades have improved dramatically. We ended up at the duck pond when she wanted
down.
"Hey squirt, is everything okay with your mom? I only ask because she looks a
little more tired than usual," I said sitting Lindsay down on my lap.
"She been fine as far as I know, but she does have a boyfriend. Maybe it is
from that," she said getting up and taking my hand.
We spent the rest of the afternoon playing. When I noticed that the park was
starting to clear out I looked at my watch. I saw that it was almost six.
Lindsay and I picked up dinner on the way home.
Lindsay lets us in when we get to her house. I guess Catherine is with Chris,
or at least that what I think his name is. I know Catherine doesn't allow
Lindsay to eat in the living room so we eat in the kitchen before heading into
the living room to wait until Catherine gets home.
-----------
I wake up to the sound of the door being shut. I open my eyes to find
Catherine coming in looking like she has been crying. I pick up Lindsay's head
and place on the couch. I walk over to see if there is anything I can do.
"Oh crap Sara, I'm sorry. I completely forgot about you having Lindsay," she
said trying to put on a brave face.
"Don't worry about it. I love spending time with her. Are you okay?" I ask as
she waves me off before heading upstairs.
I guess so. I head over and pick Lindsay up and take her upstairs. I took her
shoes off before tucking her in. I give her a kiss on the forehead before
heading back downstairs. I scribble down a note for Catherine to call if she
needs anything before I leave.
CHAPTER 2
Well, here I am standing in my empty apartment. Not exactly where I want to
be, but then again Catherine has no clue as to how I feel about her. I would
love to be curled in behind her taking away whatever pain she is feeling.
Besides work, the only fun I have are the days I spend with Lindsay. Oh yeah, no
sleep for me tonight.
I shower and change into the wife beater and shorts I wear to bed. I turn on
my clock radio to try to lull myself to sleep, but it is just not happening.
After an hour, I head into the living room and turn on my police scanner. I
clicked on the computer to check my mail and just look around.
I wake up to someone pounding on my door. Well, at least I got some sleep,
but now I have key indentations in my forehead. I look through the peephole and
see that it is Grissom. What the hell does he want? I unlock the door and whip
the door open.
"What did I do to deserve the early morning wake up call?" I asked running my
fingers through my hair.
"I have been trying to get a hold of you all morning. We have a big one, and
it is all hands on deck," he said looking serious.
The first thing I did was start some coffee before heading to my bedroom to
get changed. I guess it was a good thing I showered last night. I run a brush
through my hair as I notice the dents in my head have pretty much faded. I
poured some coffee in my travel mug before heading out with Gil.
The ride to scene was quiet. I could he wanted to ask something, but was
afraid I might bite his head off. Plus it's not like I can say, hey Gil I have
feelings for Catherine, can you help me out.
"Sara, you know whatever is bothering you, you can talk to me about," he said
as we pulled in behind Nick and Warrick. I lied and told him it was just work
related.
------------
The last couple weeks have absolutely sucked. Yes, we finally finished our
big case, but I had to cancel two dates with Lindsay, and Catherine has been
becoming more and more distant. Normally, I would ask Linds what has been going
on, but I haven't seen her to ask.
Thankfully, it is graveyards turn to have two days off. It's the sheriff's
present to thank us for a job well done. I would like to spend one of those days
with Lindsay, but Catherine hasn't seen her either so I'm not going to even
bother to ask.
Well, here I am again back at my apartment. I shower and change for bed. At
least I know I'll get some sleep considering I am completely whipped. I was
having a nice dream about Catherine when I'm woken up by my phone ringing. There
are only two people who have this number, and if it is Grissom, I"m going kick
his ass.
I mumble a hello, and Lindsay is trying to tell me something, but she is too
upset that I can't figure out what she is saying. I get her to calm down and
have her slowly tell me what the problem is. I almost drop the phone when she
tells me she found Catherine passed out in the bathroom.
She tells me that she is breathing so I tell her to get dressed, and I'll be
there shortly. I close my phone and quickly get dressed. I grab my cell and keys
before locking up. I of course drove balls the wall to Catherine's house because
I didn't want to leave Lindsay by herself for too long.
I pull into the driveway, and Lindsay comes whipping out of the house. I pick
her as we head inside. She tells me that she called me because Nana and Grampa
are on vacation, and Aunt Nancy is at work. I figure I'll call them both when we
get to the hospital. Thankfully when I find Catherine, she is dressed. I really
didn't want those pictures in my head.
I had Lindsay lock up while I carried her mom to the car. I got Catherine
buckled in before I helped Lindsay get situated. She was shaking so I kissed her
cheek and told her that everything was going to be okay. I'm glad traffic to the
hospital wasn't bad because I had half a mind to turn on the lights and siren.
I handed Lindsay my keys while I took care of Catherine. I explained what
happened, and they took Catherine inside. I asked Lindsay what her Nana's and
aunt's numbers were so I could call them. She dialed the numbers and handed me
back the phone. They both told me they would be as soon as they could.
I think the morning finally took its toll on Lindsay because she fell asleep
on my lap. I started to nod off when Nancy came in. She asked if there was any
news, but I shook my head so I didn't wake up Lindsay. Nancy and I stood up when
we saw the doctor come in.
CHAPTER 3
"Miss Willows was a little dehydrated and fatigued which caused her to faint.
We're running tests to make sure there aren't any underlying problems. You can
go in, but keep it brief," he explained.
Nancy told me I should take Lindsay in first to show her that her mom is
okay. The doctor showed us to her room. I stood by the door while Lindsay talked
to Catherine. I'm not family so I'll just stay out of the way. I saw Lindsay
give her mom a kiss before coming over to me.
"Mom wants to talk to you," she said taking my hand and walking me to the
side of the bed.
"Thank you Sara for taking care of Lindsay and I, I was wondering if you
could hang out with her today. She shouldn't have to spend her Saturday in a
hospital," Catherine asked.
I told her we would be back before visiting hours were over so Lindsay could
say goodnight. I gave her a hand a squeeze and told her I would send Nancy in.
Lindsay took my hand as we headed back to the waiting room. I saw that Sam and
Lily were here now. Lindsay ran up and gave them both hugs. Sam was giving me
his 'scary' look while Lindsay was talking to them. I don't think he understands
that I know what scary is.
Lindsay came back over and took my hand as we headed out. I know Lily and
Nancy trust me with her, but I could give a rat's hairy ass if Sam Braun thinks
so. I have a feeling that he has a file on me that has my past in it, and I'm
sure he will use if he has to. Lindsay is up for the lunch and movie idea I
suggested.
We were singing to the radio again heading for the mall. Lindsay wanted to
eat in the food court before the movie, and I'm letting her do whatever makes
her happy. I figure that way she won't be worrying about her mom.
After the movie, I suggest we head to the park to play. She agreed on if I
would sit on the swings with her. She guilted me to go down the slide. When I
went down she was waiting at the bottom with her arms out like she was going to
catch me.
She told me she wanted to go see her mom now instead of waiting for later
because she wanted me to make her my famous banana pancakes. I didn't see
anybody when we came in. I guess they all went to see Catherine. She must be
stronger or they wouldn't have allowed all them to go in. I hear yelling as we
get closer to Catherine's room. I have a bad feeling it is coming from her room.
I hand Lindsay money and tell her to grab a pop and wait until I come get her. I
don't think she needs to see whatever is going on inside.
I open the door and see that Nancy and Lily are pretty much giving Catherine
hell about something. I'm sure I'll find out what, but first I need to do
something to help Catherine.
"Hey," nothing, "HEY!" I yelled as they all looked back to me.
"Miss Sidle, this has nothing to do with you. I suggest you leave and let
Catherine's family handle this," Sam said all smug.
"Mister Braun, go screw yourself. I came here to let Lindsay see her mom, and
I'm going to do that. If you didn't notice, Catherine is in a hospital. She
needs rest, not yelled at by her family. I suggest that you all leave, and
Lindsay spend some time with her mom," I said slowly making my way to
Catherine's bedside.
I felt Catherine take my hand as I saw the shock on their faces. I think Sam
wants to take on one of those long rides in the desert, but Lily drags him out
with Nancy following behind. I turned around to see a smile on Catherine's face.
"Thank you Sara, but there is something I need to tell you when Lindsay comes
in, and you might end up feeling like yelling at me too," Catherine said trying
not to cry.
"Trust me, I won't yell at you even if I feel like it. Not to say I don't
reserve the right to do it later," I said smiling trying to lighten the mood as
Lindsay came through the door. I picked her up so she sit with her mom.
"There is something that I have been hiding for awhile. I'm sorry for doing
it, but I was trying to figure out what to do and then the big case happened,
and I just worked myself too hard," Catherine explained dancing around the
actual issue.
"Catherine whatever it is, I will stand behind you," I said taking her hand.
"I won't hold it against you if you reconsider. Lindsay, Sara, I'm pregnant,"
she said as I got up.
CHAPTER 4
I can do this, I can do this, I can do this. So Catherine is pregnant, big
deal. I have strong feelings for this woman, and it is not like I don't have a
closet full of my own skeletons.
"Sara, I understand if you want to leave," Catherine said interupting my
internal argument.
"Aw baby no, It just shocked me as all. I meant what I said about standing
behind you," I said sitting back down.
Breaking up the seriousness, Lindsay told her mom of her exploits today.
Catherine was hysterical when Lindsay told her about her waiting for me at the
bottom of the slide. Catherine lipped me a thank you while we listened to
Lindsay tell her stories.
Catherine asked me to take care of Lindsay tonight so she can see her when I
pick her up in the morning. I agreed knowing that she didn't really want to face
her family yet after the way they reacted earlier. I gave Catherine's hand a
squeeze before giving Lindsay some space to talk to her mom.
While I'm watching the Willows' women talk, I'm hoping that the rest of the
clan has cleared out for the night. I really don't want to have another
confrontation. Lindsay gave her mom a kiss before climbing off the bed. Lindsay
came over and took my hand as I gave Catherine a wave goodbye.
After helping Lindsay in the car, I asked her if she wanted to spend the
night at my house or hers. She decided on mine because it had been awhile since
she had be there last. Halfway to my place, I noticed that she had fallen
asleep. I guess Catherine was right about Lindsay starting to fall asleep in
cars after the accident.
She wrapped her arms around my neck as I got her out of the car. I put my
keys on the counter as I took Lindsay back to the bedroom. I took off her shoes
before covering her up. I had just turned around when I felt Lindsay grab my
hand.
"Sara, you can stay in here too you know," Lindsay said yawning.
"Okay, but I need to get changed first," I said grabbing my usual sleeping
attire. I threw my oversized Harvard sweatshirt on the bed knowing that Lindsay
loves to wear it. I set my alarm for eight before climbing into bed.
I woke up to the alarm with Lindsay attached to me. I kissed the top of her
head to wake her up. She stretched and groaned before looking up at me with the
cutest smile. I look at her and realize that when she grows up, she is going to
be exactly like her mom.
I pour coffee in my travel mug as I wait for Lindsay to get dressed. I laugh
when she comes out still wearing my sweatshirt over her clothes. I hand her a
glass of orange juice telling her we will grab breakfast after picking up her
mom.
"Sara, do you like my mom?" Lindsay asked as I got her settled in.
"Lindsay, you know that your mom and I are friends so of course I like her,"
I answered hoping that would be the end of it.
"You know that is not what I meant. Sara, I know that not alot of people
know, but I am aware that you are a lesbian," she said shocking me.
"Sweetie, can we talk about this later? I promise to give you a straight
answer," I said as Lindsay smirk at my wording.
Of course we spent the trip to the hospital singing along to the radio even
though I am trying to figure out how Lindsay found out I am gay. It doesn't
really matter, but with me being a private person, I don't let a whole lot of
people see my true self.
Lindsay wanted me to carry her as we went inside to pick up her mom. I opened
up Catherine's door, and she was sitting on the bed like she was waiting to get
picked up for school. She started laughing when she noticed her daughter's
outfit.
--------------
I noticed there were extra cars in Catherine's driveway when we pulled in. I
tell them to stay in the car while I make sure they are going to play nice this
time. As I unbuckled my seatbelt, Catherine gave my hand a squeeze before I
headed for the house. I had Lindsay hand me her keys in case the door was still
locked. I unlock and open the door to find them all sitting on the couch.
"Where is Catherine and Lindsay?" Nancy asked politely. Lily gave me a slight
smile while Sam just scowled at me. I don't think he knows that I grew up
scared, and he isn't that scary.
"They are in the car, and if you are just going to attack Catherine again, I
will take them to my place until you are ready to talk civilly to her. She needs
your love and support not your anger," I explained waiting to see how they want
to play this.
"You know what Miss Sidle, you need to let Catherine's family take care of
her so I suggest you go get them and then leave," Sam said getting up as I
walked in his direction.
"I know you are used to scare people with your tough act, but I grew up with
parents who beat me, and a mother who killed my father in front of me so save
your scary speech for someone who it will frighten," I said looking straight
into his eyes.
"Sara, go ahead and take them to your place while we discuss some things,"
Lily said pulling Sam back towards the couch.
I didn't even look back to see what Nancy might be thinking before heading
back outside. I climbed back into the car and told them that we were going to my
place explaining what went on inside.
CHAPTER 5
Okay, here we are at my place. Lindsay started playing a game making herself
at home while I led Catherine into the kitchen to hopefully talk about things. I
pour her a glass of milk as I grab a cup of coffee.
"Sara, I had no idea that your childhood was like that. I feel like shit
knowing all of the barbs that I have thrown in your direction over the years,
and for that I am truly sorry. I am glad that you came to my defense at the
hospital. It meant alot to me," Catherine said touching my hand.
"Catherine, it's not that big of a deal. I would do it for anybody. About the
past, it is just that, the past. I just hope your family come to their senses so
they can experience this with you," I said trying to play it cool.
Catherine said she wanted to take a shower so I went with her to show her
where everything is. I told her to look over my clothes and see if there was
anything she could wear. She surprised me by giving me a hug before I went to
see what Lindsay was up to.
I saw that Lindsay was waiting for me on the couch. I guess she wants to get
back to our earlier conversation. I sit down beside her and explain that I did
have more than friendly feelings for Catherine. She gave me a sneaky smile
before going back to her paused game.
I think the last couple days have started to get to me because I notice
myself nodding off. The next thing I know is Lindsay is waking me up telling me
that lunch was ready. Boy I suck as a hostess, here I am sleeping while my
guests have fixed us lunch.
Apparently, Lindsay suggested to her mom that we order lunch from mine and
Lindsay's favorite chinese place. I noticed that Catherine is wearing my silk
pajamas. They are a little big on her, but she looks cute in them except for the
fact that she only has two buttons holding the top closed.
While Lindsay and I took care of the dishes my cell rang. I looked at the
caller ID, and it was Nancy. I told Lindsay to go in the living room with ehr
mom. I really don't want her to hear anything she shouldn't. I answered my phone
hoping that some of things I brought sank in.
She informed that they were going to give Catherine a little space before
talking again. I told her that I would like to be there because Catherine
doesn't need the unwanted stress. She said that wouldn't be a problem, but she
said it would funny watching Sam get all pissed. Apparently, there is another
member to the 'I don't care you are Sam Braun' fan club.
After the conversation, I went into the living room and told Catherine the
new goings on. She thanked me for taking care of it. I was just going to drop
them off and come back home, but they double teamed into staying for dinner. Who
am I to say no to the lovely Willows' women.
-----------------
Well, tonight is the night I find out how Catherine handles herself back at
work. I don't even know how I am going to act seeing that I'm the only one who
knows her secret. I just hope she doesn't try to overextend herself.
My first case was a solo while Catherine got paired with Warrick. I know that
Warrick will look out for her maybe even more than me. I mean it is not like I
haven't seen the flirtiness between them which is one of the reasons why I don't
think my feelings will ever be returned.
I'm dragging my ass back in after my third case. I'm glad that shift is over
in about a half hour. Wait, I'm glad that shift is almost over, will miracles
never cease. I head to Catherine's office to see how her night went. I round the
corner, and she is pinned up against the wall by some guy. I take off running
down the hall to see what the problem is.
"Catherine, is there a problem?" I asked coming up behind the guy.
"Look bitch, this has nothing to do with you so why don't you leave us
alone," he said turning around as I realized that this is Chris
"I don't believe I was talking to you, needle dick," I said pulling Catherine
behind me.
"Whatever, I don't need this. Cat tell Sam to leave me alone," he said
turning around heading for the doors.
I took Catherine by the hand and led us to her office to find out what the
hell that was about. I shut her door and sat us down on her couch as she
explained that apparently Sam had threatened Chris to do the right thing. She
collapsed on my lap crying. I guess I need to have another conversation with my
buddy Sam.
CHAPTER 6
After taking Catherine home and promising to come back, I dropped Lindsay off
at school before doing something I know Catherine wouldn't want me to do. Lets
hope the third time is the charm for Sam to get it through his thick head that
Catherine needs his support not giving her any unnecessary stress.
I pull into the Rampart figuring if Sam is like me, he likes to get to work
early. I walk up to the receptionist telling her I want to see Mr. Braun. I also
tell her to say it is Sara Sidle, that way I know he'll see me. I sit down on
one of lobby chairs while she calls upstairs. She shows me to the elevator that
will take me to him.
"Miss Sidle, what did I do to deserve a morning dropby?" he asked with his
smug smile.
"Okay, I'm going to try this one more time. Catherine doesn't need you
telling Chris to do the right thing. She doesn't need you giving her grief over
a mistake in judgment. She just needs your love and support," I said shaking my
head at the offer of a chair.
"I like you Miss Sidle. You have more spine than most men I run into, but I
have a question for you. Catherine doesn't know, does she?" he said sitting down
behind his desk.
"I really don't know what you are talking about," I said lying, but if I'm
going to say out loud it won't be to Sam Braun.
"If you say so, but Catherine might surprise you. I take what you said into
consideration, and I know you worked last night so I'll let you get home," Sam
said ushering me back to the elevator.
-----
Okay that was weird, Sam was being nice and polite. I guess I'll head over to
my place for a change of clothes seeing that I have to take Catherine to work
tonight. Hopefully, she will be asleep when I get there so I don't have to
explain where I've been.
I pull into Catherine's driveway and head inside. I use the key she gave me
before I left. I put my keys on the coffee table as I head upstairs to check on
Catherine. I open her bedroom door and see she sleeping peacefully as I quietly
head downstairs to crash on her couch.
You know that feeling when you are sort of still sleeping, but are aware of
what is going on around you. I can hear Catherine and Lindsay talking, but can't
understand what they are saying. As I'm coming out of the fog, I hear Catherine
tell Lindsay no.
"Do it munchkin, and there will be consequences," I said opening my eyes
scaring Lindsay which causes Catherine to burst into laughter.
I notice as I get up that I'm covered up. Lindsay ran upstairs as I folded
the blanket that I was covered up in. Catherine comes in and hands me a cup of
coffee when we hear Lindsay yell my name from upstairs. She must need homework
help. Catherine gives me a nod as I hand her my empty cup.
After finishing her homework, we sat down on her bed and talked. She was
asking me about what the new baby meant to her. I explained to her that her mom
wasn't going to love her any less, plus that she was going to be the big sister.
She was happy when I told what the big sister gets to do.
Lindsay had fallen asleep on me when Catherine came to get us for dinner.
Lindsay and I set the table while Catherine brought the food in. Lindsay was
telling us about her day at school while we ate. I kept noticing that Catherine
was occasionally throwing glances in my direction while we were listening.
I got started on the dishes while they cleared the table when I heard Lindsay
tell her mom that she will help with the baby anyway she can. I had to blink
back tears before either one of them caught me. It is times like these when I
realize what I missed growing up. I was wiping my eye when I felt a hand on my
shoulder.
"Sara, are you okay?" Catherine asked turning me around.
"Yeah, I just got a little soap in my eye," I said lying of course.
I didn't to unload anymore of my childhood trauma onto Catherine. She had
enough on her plate without having to put up with my crap. She pulled my hand
away and looked in my eye. She grabbed a spare towel and wet it so she could
wipe my eye.
-----
After dropping Lindsay off at Nancy's, we headed off to work. I just hope we
don't twenty questions as to why we came in together. I poured her a cup of
decaf to avoid any questions from the guys. I know she likes to drink coffee for
the jolt, but she is going to have to put up with unleaded for awhile.
Grissom came in and handed out assignments. I got paired with Nicky while
Catherine gets to play with Warrick again. I give her a smile before heading
out. Nick decided he wanted to drive which wasn't a problem. I just hope he
doesn't want to small talk on the way seeing that everything I did today
involved Catherine in some sort of way.
When we got to the scene, Nick said he check the perimeter first. I grabbed
my kit and headed up the steps. I heard the crack, but it was already too late.
I see the front porch post coming closer and know this is going to hurt, and
then everything went black.
I heard beeping and someone was holding my hand as I realized I'm in the
hospital. Of course anytime my life gets some assemblence of normalcy, I end up
in a hospital. You think by now I would have some good karma built up, guess
not.
"You know Sara, if you didn't want to come to work. I'm sure Gil would have
given you the night off," Catherine said trying to lighten the mood.
"What can I say, I like doing things the hard way. How long have I been
here?" I asked noticing I can only move one arm.
"Since last night, they have been waking you up every four hours because of
your concussion. You also have a dislocated shoulder. The doctor said it didn't
look like your first," Catherine said rubbing the back of my hand with her
thumb.
"It's not, that is why it doesn't take much to pop it out of place. Have the
guys been by?" I said through a yawn.
"Yeah, they have. Sleep sweetie, I'll be here when you wake up," she said as
I drifted back to sleep.
CHAPTER 7
I feel something curled in beside me as I'm waking up. I look over and see
Lindsay sleeping up against me. I look over to the chair that Catherine has been
occupying, but she isn't there. I could check my watch to see what time it, but
that arm is in a sling, and Lindsay is sleeping under the other one. I was
ensconced watching Lindsay sleep that I didn't hear the door open.
"She loves you, you know. I think you filled the hole in her heart that Eddie
left when he died," Catherine said surprising me.
I try to say something, anything, but the words aren't coming. Catherine
tells me not to worry about as she kisses my forehead. She tells me that she was
getting my discharge papers in order, but the doctor would only release me as
long as I had someone to take care of me. I tried to argue, but Catherine told
me that the guys were cleaning out her spare room so I had some place to stay
while I was off for the next week.
Well, it is not like I can argue. I mean I didn't have to save Catherine from
her family yelling at her, but I did so now I get to spend a week in the house
of the woman whom I have feelings for. Oh yeah, this is going to be fun.
Catherine ushered Lindsay out of the room while I got changed. She had a
stupid smirk on her face as she left. I didn't know what it was for until I
realized I couldn't get dressed by myself. Just perfect, Catherine is the only
one here who can help me. I call her in and hope I can keep my hormones in
check.
Thankfully, her and Lindsay picked out sweatpants and an oversized sweatshirt
so there wouldn't be any snapping or buttoning. Then of course, she sat me down
in the wheelchair that I have to ride in until we are out of the hospital. I
offered Lindsay my lap so Catherine would have to push us both out.
----------
When we got inside, Lindsay took my hand and led me upstairs to what is going
to be my room. She opens the door, and it looks like mini version of my place.
I'm guessing Lindsay helped because most of my favorite things are in here
except my police scanner which isn't really a surprise. I notice that my closet
is full of my clothes, and the dresser has some tees, sweats, socks, and of
course my underwear. Something tells me that if Catherine picked those out, I
will be hearing about some of my choices.
I bend down and kiss the top of Lindsay's head. I sit down on the bed to
relax a little. My bearings still aren't back to where they should be. Lindsay
gives me a kiss on the cheek and tells she will back. I decide to stretch out to
acclimated to my new surroundings.
Lindsay comes back in followed closely behind by Catherine who is carrying a
tray with orange juice, a cup of hot tea and a plate of cookies.
"Sorry, Lindsay thought you could use a cup of tea, and she insisted on
bringing cookies too," Catherine said putting the tray on my lap.
Catherine helped Lindsay on the bed so she didn't spill anything before
heading out the door. I guess she is doing other things. Don't get me wrong, I
love spending time with Lindsay, but I could really use some adult interaction.
We finished our drinks, and Lindsay noticed it was time for her favorite
cartoon. She ran downstairs and turned on the TV. I didn't see Catherine
anywhere downstairs so I headed back upstairs to see if she needed anything. I
opened her bedroom door and found her sleeping peacefully. I moved a strand of
hair out of her face before covering her up with her blanket.
When I got downstairs, I heard the dryer go off. I folded the clothes and put
them in the basket before putting the load from the washer in the dryer. I had
to take a couple deep breaths because I realized that I used to fold clothes
that way when I was younger.
I head back into the living room to check on Lindsay who has fallen asleep on
the couch. I guess my getting injured has put a crimp in both Willows' sleeping
patterns. I shut off the TV after draping a blanket over Lindsay. I headed for
the back door to see if fresh air will clear my head.
I look around Catherine's backyard wondering what fun things that Lindsay got
to do back here with her mom and dad. I smile knowing that most kids had
childhoods like that, not like mine. I don't know how long I was out there when
I felt Catherine's hand on my shoulder. I grabbed her hand and kissed her palm.
"What was that for?" she asked sitting in front of me.
"It was a thank you for taking care of me. I haven't had too many want to do
that for me," I said smiling.
"Well, you have two now so deal with it," she said sticking her tongue out at
me lightening the mood a little.
"Being taken care by a gorgeous woman and her adorable daughter, what a
burden," I said staring at Catherine who looked at me with her mouth open.
CHAPTER 8
Before Catherine can ask me about my comment, Lindsay comes running out
asking what is for dinner. She suggests pizza and since neither one of us is
really thinking about food. Catherine tells her call it in.
Catherine tells me she is going to take a shower so she doesn't have to rush
to do it after we eat. Well, I guess I have my answer. She only has friendly
feelings towards me, plus I think I freaked her out with me telling her she was
gorgeous.
I don't know how long I have been sitting out here, but Lindsay comes out and
asks for money for the pizza. I handed her thirty and told her to tell the
delivery guy to keep the change. I'm not so hungry anymore, but I'll probably
end up having some later.
I can hear Catherine and Lindsay talking inside, but I can't understand
anything they are saying. I figure if it of any importance, someone will let me
know. I put my face in my hand and fight the urge to cry. I really don't want to
have to explain that.
I feel myself getting cold, but I don't want to go inside and possibly run
into Catherine. I can hear them talking again, and shortly there after, Lindsay
comes out and tells me that Catherine headed into work early. She touches my
hand and notices that it is cold and makes me come inside.
She sits me down on the couch and covers us up. She tells me that I can tell
her what is bothering me if I want to. Now, I really have no idea what to do. I
feel so lost and can't figure out what to do. It was so much easier when I was
watching Catherine from afar.
--------
I don't know when I fell asleep, but when I woke up, I saw that it was past
eleven. I woke Lindsay up and helped her to her room. I tucked her in and headed
for my room. I kicked off my shoes and laid down. Seeing that I am now by
myself, I finally let my emotions out and end up crying myself to sleep.
I smile as I recollect the dream I had last night. It was of Catherine and I
watching Lindsay playing with her little sister. As I open my eyes, I see that
Catherine is sitting in a chair watching me. I give her a smile hoping she
forgot about last night.
"We need to talk. You had me worried last night, and after talking to Lindsay
this morning, you are starting to scare me. What happened last night that you
made you shut me out?" Catherine asked scooting the chair closer to the bed.
"Catherine, if I tell you what the problem is, it will just make things
worse. Lets just get through this week, I'll go back to my place, and you can
call me whenever you need any help with the baby," I said sitting up in bed.
"Damn it Sara, I thought we were passed all this avoiding shit. If can't tell
what is bothering you, I don't want you around during the pregnancy," she said
starting to get that pissed off Catherine look.
"Fine, but don't say I didn't warn you. I don't know when it happened
exactly, but I have developed strong feelings for you. The kind that make want
buy you flowers, take you out, and kiss you breathless," I said waiting for her
to run out of the room.
I see Catherine get up from her chair and climb onto the bed straddling my
hips. She wraps her hands around the back of head and kisses me. It is now that
I realize I should have taken my sling off last night as I wrap my arm around
Catherine pulling her on top of me.
We stop after realizing that oxygen is becoming an issue. Catherine tells me
that she has always felt drawn to me, but with the Grissom thing and dating
Hank. She didn't think there was any possibility of getting any return on her
feelings so she tried to build a friendship with me. She started to yawn so I
told to get some sleep, and I would wake her up in time to pick up Lindsay.
After she fell asleep, I got out of bed slowly not to wake her up. I grabbed
a change of clothes before heading to the bathroom to take a shower. I know that
I'm still going to have to take it easy on my shoulder so I don't dislocate it
again. I let the water run over me knowing that everything is going to be fine.
I called up my favorite flower shop after getting dressed and had them put
together a bouquet together for a new love. I asked if they could put a rush
delivery on it, no matter the cost. I want them to be the first thing Catherine
sees when she opens her eyes.
CHAPTER 9
Why is it that when life is going great that it seems time flies, but when
life is giving you the biggest bag of shit, it seems to drag along. Anyway, here
I am back at work after my week's injury vacation. I am glad to be back though
seeing that I haven't seen Catherine since yesterday.
I know what you are thinking. Big deal, you haven't seen her in twenty-four
hours, but with Catherine and I together, I feel like a teenager always needing
to be near her. I can't really compare it to my teenage years, and maybe that is
why I'm acting like this.
Catherine is happier now too. Her family finally apologized for being
unsupportive before, but promised to be there for whatever she needed. The only
problem I have is now Sam is giving me the 'do the right thing' look. It's not
that I don't want to spend the rest of my life making Catherine happy, but it is
way to soon in our relationship.
The only thing that is going to suck about being back to work is that Grissom
is going to coddle me. He is either going to give me a cake case, or he will
stick me with doing lab work. As I enter the breakroom, I see that Greg, Nick,
and Warrick are playing some shoot-em up game. I'm sorry, but I need a little
substance with my games.
Then I see Catherine, she is sitting on the couch with her eyes closed. I
have been doing some reading and know that even early on the expentant mother
feels tired. Although, I know that Catherine knows this seeing that she has
already been through this once. I smile thinking that maybe Catherine is having
dirty thoughts about me while she is resting her eyes.
I grab a cup of coffee before coming up behind Catherine. I looked over at
the guys to make sure they weren't looking before I gave her a kiss on the top
of her head. She looks up and smiles at me before kissing my palm. At this
point, I really don't care who sees us. I come around and sit beside to await
Gil's arrival.
Surprise, Surprise, knowing that I'm good with DNA, Grissom decided to let
Greg and I switch jobs tonight. At least I won't be bored. Plus, Catherine can
pop in anytime she wants under the guise of getting results, and I get to snoop
around and see if Greg has anything stashed in here that he shouldn't.
--------
Wow, I now have new found respect for Greg. I can't believe the kind of
pressure that he is under which explains his sense of humor. It is probably his
way of dealing with the stress. I head off to the locker room to grab my stuff
before leaving. I take my time hoping to catch Catherine to see if she wants
company for her doctor's appointment this afternoon.
Not seeing her, I headed to my car, but when I got there, Catherine was
sleeping in the passenger seat. I'm hoping the guys don't see this because I
really don't want to have to explain it. We will let them in on our secrets soon
enough. I quietly climb in the car hoping not to disturb the sleeping Catherine.
On the way home, she made a couple noises, but she never fully woke up. As I
parked in her driveway, I nudged her awake. I gave Lindsay a hug and told her I
would take her to school as soon as I helped her to bed. I sat Catherine on the
bed so I could take off her shoes. Afterwards, she climbed on the bed, but I
know she isn't going to be comfortable in her clothes.
After getting her pants off, I worked on unbuttoning her blouse. I slide it
off her shoulders and notice that she isn't wearing a bra. Wow those are nice,
my dreams didn't do her justice. I close my eyes as I get her arms out of her
sleeves. I kissed her cheek after tucking her in.
I take a couple deep breaths before heading downstairs to drop Lindsay off. I
come down, and Lindsay hands me a cup of coffee. I take a sip and realize that
it is the decaf that I bought Catherine after getting rid of the good stuff. I
rinsed out my cup before we headed out to the car.
Lindsay gave me a kiss before she got out. I told her that I would pick her
up, and maybe I could get Catherine to come too. I think I'm starting to realize
what a family is supposed to be with how Catherine's family has acting around me
lately, and to think I almost threw it all away.
After a relaxing shower, I climbed in the bed in the spare room. I looked at
the clock and saw that I can get about three hours sleep before having to take
Catherine to the doctors. I close my eyes smiling knowing the kind of dreams I'm
going to have.
I wake up the alarm, but I can't turn it off because my arm is pinned to my
side. I open my eyes realizing that Catherine's bare breasts are against my
back. I unclasp her arm from around me and sit up. I shut off the alarm and tell
Catherine it is time to get up. She sits up and wraps her arms around me while
starting to kiss my neck.
I tell her we don't have time for this right now, but if she's good, I will
let her later. She nips on my earlobe before climbing off the bed. It may sound
mean, but I'm glad that I'm not staying here because I don't think I could
handle Catherine's new improved libido. After changing into some clothes I left
here, I head downstairs to wait for Catherine.
CHAPTER 10
"You lied to me. You said we could continue making out after my appointment,"
Catherine said pouting as we pulled up in front of Lindsay's school.
"Making out, what are you thirteen now, and I do believe I said that we would
continue later. You assumed that I meant after your appointment, and you know
what they say about assuming, baby," I said giving her a kiss before getting
out.
"Yeah, I got just the thing to do to your ass," she said joining me leaning
against the car awaiting Lindsay.
Shortly after the bell rang, I caught sight of the little blonde bottle of
energy. She ran up and gave us both hugs. She pulled out her math test that we
studied for, and she got an A. I told her that I would take her and her mom for
ice cream to celebrate.
We ended up at the park so Lindsay could play before heading home. I took
Catherine's hand smiling as I watched Lindsay play. I can't wait to come here
with the new baby and watch them play. I ended up leaning my head on Catherine's
shoulder after we finished our ice cream.
Catherine nudged me awake. I looked around and noticed that I had fallen
asleep at the park. Catherine called Lindsay over, and she helped me to the car
before driving us home. I fell asleep in the car on the way home, and Catherine
tucked me in when we arrived.
I woke up to the most amazing aroma. I guess Catherine is in a good mood. I
hear someone lightly tap on the door, and I close my eyes in case Catherine
wants to get a little payback. I hear the door open and try not to smile to ruin
the surprise. I feel the bed dip as she climbs on.
She straddles my hips before taking her hands and running them down my sides.
I let out a chuckle making her aware that I'm awake which apparently doesn't sit
well with her because she starts tickling me. Oh god if she doesn't stop, I'm
going to pee myself. I lean up and kiss her which distracts her enough to climb
off the bed and run to the bathroom.
I headed downstairs with a big smile on my face. Lindsay tells that she wants
me to look over her homework after dinner. I help Lindsay finsh setting the
table as Catherine comes into the room. As she passed me, she pinched my butt
making me yelp.
Lindsay was telling us about her day while we ate. Catherine kept up her
constant teasing by running her foot up my leg. At this rate, I'm going to need
to take a cold shower before heading into work. I don't what has gotten into
Linsday, but she offered to take care of the dishes.
Catherine watched Lindsay to make sure she didn't load the dishwasher wrong,
but then again, how does one load a dishwasher wrong. I looked over Lindsay's
homework and realized that she won't need my help until they start getting into
the harder stuff. I put her things back in order as she came back in. I handed
her her bag as she headed upstairs to get ready to stay with her aunt.
-------
The ride to the lab was quiet except for the smirk that Catherine was
wearing. I really don't want to know what she has planned for me tonight. She
tells me that she'll meet me in the breakroom after she stops in her office. I
walk in to find that Nick is playing football with Greg as I head over to the
fridge and grab a couple juices.
Grissom comes in and pairs Catherine with Nick while Greg and I were going
with him. I've come to like working with Greg. I get to mentor him on how to be
a better CSI, and I think that might be Gil's plan. I think he knows that I will
take it seriously while he wouldn't have the patience to do it.
After solving our case, Greg and I drove back to the lab. He was asking me
why I seemed to be in a better mood lately. I just passed it off as everything
working right now with me. He kept pestering me on whether or not there was
someone in my life, and I told him there was but it was still early on in the
relationship to comment.
He headed off to see if he could help Mia in DNA in case she was back logged.
I headed for Catherine's office to see how her case went. I knocked on her door,
but she wasn't there. I turned around and almost ran over Nick. He told me that
I should check on Catherine to make sure she was okay. He explained the gist of
their case, and how the clinic's director was being with her.
I figure she has to be in the bathroom after I checked the locker room. I
can't believe that asshole would do that. I know that Catherine isn't vain
enough to do any of that, but she knows that she is getting older. I open the
bathroom door and see Catherine standing in front of the mirror. I decided to
lock the door in case things get out of hands.
"Catherine," I start as I wrap my arms around her, "I know what that guy
said, but he doesn't know you. You are gorgeous and sexy, and I wouldn't want
you any other way," I said turning her around to kiss her. I promised her that
we would take this further after dropping Lindsay off at school.
CHAPTER 11
Well, tonight is the night. Catherine is going to tell the guys that she is
pregnant. I tell her no matter what their reactions are that I will be behind
her. She gave me a kiss as we left the doctor's office.
Catherine is relieved that the baby is healthy, and everything else is going
well. I'm glad we got Nancy to pick up Lindsay from school seeing how late it
is. I'm also glad that Catherine's family finally decided to stand behind
through this.
I can't believe how helpful Lindsay has been lately. Catherine has been
joking with me that somebody has kidnapped her daughter and replaced her with
the one that she lives with, but I try to tell that it is because she loves her.
She gives me a kiss before we head inside to 'pod' Lindsay.
--------
After dropping Lindsay off with Lily and Sam since Nancy was working tonight,
Catherine and I are on our way to my place to change for work. I tell her to
make herself at home while I freshen up and change. I decide on something
conservative so Catherine isn't distracted when she tells the guys.
I walk into the living room and see Catherine holding papers in her hand. She
sort of has a serious look on her face as I try to figure out what she found.
'Shit' she found my lease papers. I offer her a smile to trying to make me feel
better.
"What are these?" she asked sounding pissed. I want to give her a smart ass
answer, but that will only make matters worse. I tell her we can discuss it in
the car so we aren't late for work. She slams the papers on the table and leaves
without saying a word. Oh yeah, this is going to be fun ride to work.
After about five minutes of silence, I explain that my five year lease is up,
and I have turn the paperwork in soon to re-up. I go on to explain that I was
going to talk to her about it, but I kept putting it off. I told her that I like
the way our relationship was going, but moving in together is a big step, and I
didn't how comfortable she was with it.
The rest of the way to the lab was spent in silence. I figure she is thinking
over the things I told her, and here I was worried what I wore might distract
her tonight. She offered me a smile as we headed inside. Well, at least she
isn't pissed anymore. I told her I would meet her in the breakroom as she walked
into her office.
The guys were waiting for us when I walk in. Gil was about to pass out
assignments, but Catherine interupted him because she had an announcement. The
guys turned their attentions towards her while I stood behind her with my hand
on her back lending her my strength. I moved a little closer as Catherine
finished just in case.
The guys jumped up and gave her a big group hug, but Gil hung back. I really
hope he isn't about to do anything stupid because I might be forced to punch his
lights out. After the guys were done, Gil handed Warrick a slip saying the three
of them were working a case together. I see him look at me knowing that I'm not
going anywhere until he says what he is going to say.
He tells Catherine that he is happy for her, and he will do anything to make
her job easier. I let go of a breath that I had been holding. Catherine thanks
him and tells him that I have been a big help with things which surprises me but
not Gil for some reason. He tells Catherine that she can have the weekend off so
she can relax. He gives me a wink before heading out.
I was about to tell Catherine that I have the weekend off too, but I hear
that someone wants to see me at the front desk. I give Catherine a kiss on the
cheek and tell her I will be right back. As I get to the front desk, I see her.
Of course anytime my life is getting some assemblance, Sasha shows up and throws
it into a tizzy. Thankfully, I left Catherine in the breakroom.
I stop and clear my throat to get her attention. She turns around and wraps
me up in one of her famous hugs. I back up out of the hug and ask what the hell
she is doing here. She explains that her connecting flight to South Dakota was
cancelled because of snow so she stopped over to see me and maybe crash at my
place. I handed her my keys as she wrapped me up in another hug. This time I
hugged her back until she told me we were being watched. I turned around in time
to see Catherine run down the hall.'Shit'
I took Sasha's hand and told her she was going to help me explain this. On
the way to Catherine's office, I told her that Catherine and I have been dating
for a few months, but I didn't feel the need to tell her about the baby. I
knocked on the door hoping that Catherine would let me explain before letting me
have it. She allowed us to me to enter, but her face fell when she saw I wasn't
alone.
I told her that Sasha was an old girlfriend that needed a place to crash and
with Sasha's help, Catherine said she was sorry for overeacting. I told her it
was fine giving her a wink. I walked Sasha to the door telling her if she makes
a mess, I would kick her ass. I closed the door and took a deep breath before
turning around in case Catherine was still a little pissed.
"Sara, I am truly sorry for the way I acted. I know you know that it is my
hormones, but that doesn't make it right. I want you to know that I really
appreciate all that you have done for me these last few months, and I would like
you to consider moving in with me. Not only because we are dating, but because
it would be nice to know you were there to take care of Lindsay and I. So would
like to move in with us?" Catherine asked smiling nervously.
CHAPTER 12
"Catherine, I would love to move in with you, but I want to make sure it is
okay with Lindsay before I accept," I said hoping she doesn't get pissed.
Catherine gave me the sweetest smile before coming over and giving me a kiss.
She told me she was touched that I would take Lindsay's feelings into
consideration before doing anything. I told her we should get some work done
tonight so I went to my office to grab my paperwork.
After we finished, we noticed that there was half the shift left. We headed
to Gil's office to drop off our files and to see if anything had come in. I
knocked on his door frame as he motioned us in. We handed over our work when he
told us to go home and enjoy our weekend.
Catherine talked me into spending the night and seeing that she was home
alone, I accepted. I started to climb into my bed when she came in and took my
hand. She laid us down in her bed as she spooned in behind me. I'm thinking she
is finally coming down from how worked up she has been today about telling the
guys, and she just wants to feel safe so I don't fight it.
I wake up in the morning feeling warm from the front and behind. I know that
Catherine is behind me so I open my eyes and look down to see that Lindsay has
cuddled herself into my midsection. Catherine must sense that I'm awake, but
doesn't realize that we aren't alone. I grab her hand and place it on her
daughter.
Lindsay awakens to Catherine's touch and looks up at me with a smile I know
so well. Catherine and I sit up in bed while putting Lindsay between us.
Catherine asks her if it would be okay if I moved in with them. She looked over
at me, and when I nodded, she got hysterical. She wrapped her arms around me and
gave me a kiss on the cheek.
I whispered in Lindsay's ear to keep her mom busy while I started breakfast.
I gave Catherine a chaste kiss before heading down to the kitchen. I started
making my famous banana nut pancakes as Lindsay calls them and some scrambled
eggs hoping that Lindsay would be able to stall her mom long enough.
As I was putting the finishing touches on the food, Catherine and Lindsay
came in. Lindsay's face lit up when she saw what I had made. She sat down as I
put her plate of pancakes in front of her. Catherine gave me another kiss as we
carried our plates to the table.
During breakfast, Catherine and I were discussing the best way to start
moving me in. Lindsay kept chiming in that she wanted to help. I nod thinking
she could box up my clothes after I pack away unmentionables first of course.
Catherine told me to get dressed while her and Lindsay did the dishes seeing
that I was the one who made the delicious meal.
When we got to my place, I found the boxes I had put in the attic. I didn't
throw them away from when I first came because I didn't know at the time how
long I was going to stay. After getting Lindsay situated with my clothes,
Catherine and I got started with my CDs and DVDs. I was working on my second box
of music when Catherine asked me why I had a copy of Girls Gone Wild.
Trying not to laugh, I explained to her that it was a gag birthday present
from Greg shortly after I told him I was gay. She then asked why it was opened,
and I told her that I never watched it, but I didn't want Greg to think I didn't
like it so I took it out of it's wrappings. She busted into a fit of laughter
that made me start to laugh until Lindsay came in and asked what was so funny.
Catherine explained it away by saying that it was something Greg had done
which wasn't exactly lying. She ran back into the bedroom when I realize that
I'm going to have to give Grissom my new phone number and address. Catherine
must see the worry on my face and asks what is wrong. I tell her what is
bothering me, and she tells me not to worry about it, that she will take care of
it.
-------
After making our first trip, Catherine was making lunch while Lindsay and I
started to put away some of my stuff. I was hanging clothes in the closet when I
felt Lindsay hug my waist. I turned around, sat her on the bed and asked her
what that was for. She thanked me for making her mom happy. She told me that
after Catherine broke things off with Chris, she always seemed depressed, but I
changed her.
I gave her a kiss on the forehead before wrapping her up in a hug telling her
that her mom did the same for me. She was wiping away a couple of my tears when
Catherine came in. Lindsay told Catherine what we were talking about while I
pulled myself back together.
I walked into the dining room just as Catherine and Lindsay had sat down and
saw that Catherine had made me a huge garden salad. She told me that she wanted
me to tell her the kinds of vegetarian foods that I liked to eat. I tried to
tell her that she didn't have to make me special meals, but she stopped me and
told me that is what families do for each other.
I was about to lose it hearing what Catherine had just said when the doorbell
rang. Lindsay ran to the door and checked the peephole before opening the door.
Catherine and I got up and went to see who stopped by. I didn't realize that
Catherine and I were holding hands until Warrick spoke.
"Well what do you know, I guess my suspicions were right," he said with a big
ass grin on his face.