What Hurts the Most
Author: Tim
Pairing: C/S(later)
Rating: PG(to start)
Spoilers: none, but early season 1
Archive: want, take, just let me know
Disclaimer: Jerry's, not mine, damn it
*********
 
CHAPTER 1
 
 
 "Sidle," I answered.
 
 "Sara, it's Catherine. I need a favor?" Catherine asked.
 
 "What do you need?"
 
 "Gil called me in, and I need someone to watch Lindsay,"
 
 "Do you want me to come over or do you want to drop her off?"
 
 "I'd prefer if you'd come over,"
 
 "Okay, I'll see you in twenty,"
 
 What the hell did I just do? I barely know Lindsay. I have only met her twice
and now I'm offering my new collegue to babysit her as I changed into sweatpants
and an old Harvard t-shirt. I grabbed my keys and jacket before heading for
Catherine's house.
 
 Luckily, I picked her up for work one night so I remember where she lives. I
rang her doorbell, and she opened the door. "Sara, thank you for doing this. I
would have called my sister, but she is working," Catherine explained as I
entered. "It's no problem, I would have probably listened to my police scanner
until I fell asleep," I said smiling. "Help yourself to anything in the fridge,
and with tomorrow being Saturday, Lindsay can stay up until eleven, but no
longer. Don't let her tell you otherwise," she explained.
 
 "Got it, I think I can handle one seven year old," I said smiling. "Okay, but
don't say I didn't warn you," Catherine said leaving. I guess I should look
around to acclimate myself with the place. The downstairs had a living, dining,
and bathrooms plus the kitchen. I headed upstairs to say hi to Lindsay. I knew
which door was hers by the Lindsay license plate on the door.
 
 I knocked on her door and heard her turn the music down before opening the
door. "Hi Sara, do you know anything about math?" Lindsay asked. "Yeah, what are
you guys up to,?" I asked as she handed me her math book. I saw they were doing
fractions, and I showed her an easy way to do them. "Do you want to watch a
movie?" she asked after finishing her homework.
 
 I can't believe I sat through the Spice Girls movie, but Lindsay liked it so
I endured it. I noticed that she was falling asleep so I picked her up to tuck
her in. "I need to brush my teeth first," Lindsay said showing me where the
upstairs bathroom was. "I'll meet you in your room, I have to use the bathroom
first," I said.
 
 I headed back for her room to tuck her in, but she had a book in her hand.
"Mom reads me a story before I go to sleep," Lindsay said handing me the book. I
noticed halfway through the book that Lindsay had fallen asleep, but I finished
the book anyway. When I woke up, I noticed Lindsay was laying on top of me, and
we were covered up.
 
 I must have been really comfortable because I fell back asleep. I woke up the
second time when Lindsay was getting up. "Morning Sara, sorry about the sleeping
on you. I get a little clingy when someone sleeps in my bed," Lindsay explained.
"Don't worry about it, it's been a long time since I've done this," I said. "You
have a kid too, Mom's never mentioned," Lindsay said as I ran out of the room.
 
 I ran to the bathroom and sat down on the toilet. I was crying into my hands
when someone knocked on the door. "Sara, it's Catherine. Are you okay?" she
asked through the door. "Yeah," I said wiping my eyes. "Can I come in?"
Catherine asked. "Sure," I said. Catherine walked in and kneeled down in front
of me. "What did Lindsay do?" she asked.
 
 "Oh god, I'm sorry. I probably scared her," I said. "No, she's just a worried
about you. What did she say to make you cry?" Catherine asked touching my knee.
"When I woke up with Lindsay on top of me, it reminded me of Hope," I said
wiping away more tears. "I don't mean to make you cry, but who is Hope?" she
asked.
 
 "Can we talk about this somewhere else?" I asked. "Sure, let me get Lindsay
situated downstairs, and we can talk in my room," Catherine said. As she left, I
thought to myself that I haven't talk about it since it happened. I just grieved
and threw myself into my work. I still can't believe it's been seven years since
I lost them.
 
 "I told Lindsay I would explain later if that's okay," Catherine said letting
me lean on her. She sat me down on her bed and pulled a chair up to sit in front
of me. "Take your time, I'm not going anywhere," she said. "Hope was my
daughter. She was killed in a car accident with my wife seven years ago," I said
starting to cry again.
 
 "Oh Sara, I'm sorry," Catherine said pulling me into a hug. She let me cry on
her shoulder for I don't know how long. She was rubbing my back which was
helping me feel better. "I'm sorry Catherine, I'm getting your blouse all wet,"
I said. "Sweetie, don't worry about it. I've had worse on my clothes," she said
wiping my face.
 
 "Yeah, me too," I said. "You don't have to continue, if you don't want to,"
Catherine said. "No, I want to tell you the whole story. I met Rachel in
college. She was my Psychology professor my sophomre year. We didn't start
dating until I was a junior. She was a little nervous about our age difference,
but I didn't care," I explained taking a deep breath.
 
 "Do you want to stop?" Catherine asked as I shook my head. "My senior year,
we discussed having kids. I told her I would carry it because I was a better
candidate. She wanted us to be married before we tried. After we were married, a
mutual friend of ours said he would like to be the donor, and I got pregnant on
the first try. When I graduated, I looked like a blimp in my gown. After Hope
was born, I took a year off before starting my job at CSI. I had a hard time
working the first time I left Hope with Rachel's sister. We had just enrolled
Hope in kindergarten the same week she and Rachel were killed," I said breaking
down in Catherine's arms again.
 
CHAPTER 2
 
After cleaning myself up, I headed back to Catherine's room. "Ready to face
Lindsay?" she asked. "Yeah, but you're not going. You worked last night and are
working tonight. You're going to bed while Lindsay and I are grabbing some
lunch," I said. "Are you sure?" Catherine asked. "Yes, now sleep," I said
sternly.
 
 I walked down the steps a little nervously, but I knew if Lindsay is anything
like her mom, I don't have anything to worry about. "Hi Sara, are you feeling
better?" Lindsay asked. "Yeah I am kiddo, but we'll talk about this morning
after lunch, okay," I said as Lindsay nodded. We went to Subway and stopped by
my apartment to grab some clothes for tonight.
 
 I left Lindsay in my living room while I headed for my bedroom. I headed back
to Lindsay and noticed she was looking at a picture of me, Rachel, and Hope.
"Hey kiddo bring that with you, it will help when we talk," I said. I put the
picture in my bag and took Lindsay's hand as we headed back to the car. Lindsay
was quiet on the way back to her house.
 
 We discussed school while we were eating. I didn't really want to get into
anything heavy during lunch. After throwing away the garbage, I joined Lindsay
on the couch. I told Lindsay the story I told Catherine this morning, and she
started crying. "Shh sweetie, it's okay," I said rocking her on my lap. "I can't
believe that happened to you Sara," Lindsay said wrapping her arms around my
neck.
 
 "I can't either kiddo, but you and your mom have made me feel better today,"
I said kissing her forehead. "You know Mom has dated women before," Lindsay said
smiling. "Really, it doesn't bother you that I'm gay," I said. "No, my friend
Amanda has two moms, and they are really nice. Sara, love is something you feel
for someone no matter what their gender," Lindsay explained.
 
 "You are a very understanding girl Linds. Your mom has done a done a great
job raising you," I said giving her a hug. Lindsay and I watched some TV before
I started dinner. I had Lindsay help me with the vegetables for salad while I
took care of the sauce for the pasta. "Hey doodlebug, go wake up your mom while
I finish up," I said smiling. "Doodlebug?" Lindsay questioned.
 
 "It was one of my nicknames for Hope. I wanted to see your reaction to it," I
said as Lindsay smiled before running up the steps. I feel better than I have in
years. I don't know whether it's the fact that I told Catherine and Lindsay what
happened or that I have finally grieved my loss, for the first time. "Mmm,
something smells good," Catherine said entering the kitchen.
 
 "I figured it's the least I can do for what you and Linds did for me today,"
I said smiling. "Sara, that's what friends do. I feel honored that you shared it
with me," Catherine said sitting down. "I don't mind if you call me doodlebug,"
Lindsay said whispering in my ear. "What, you guys spend one day together, and
you're already keeping secrets," Catherine said.
 
 "Oh my goodness Sara, that was delicious. I should keep you so nobody else
gets your cooking," Catherine said. "Why Miss Willows, are you asking me out
because I have it on good authority that I'm your type," I said winking at
Lindsay. "Lindsay Elizabeth Willows," Catherine said as Lindsay and I started to
laugh.
 
 "Catherine, if it helps at all. I would say yes. I have never been able to
say no to beatiful women," I said starting to pick up the dishes. "No, you relax
with Lindsay. I will clean up," Catherine said ushering us out. "Come on
doodlebug, let's watch some cartoons," I said picking up Lindsay. I noticed
Catherine gave me a look at my choice of nicknames.
 
 "Sara, can we go to my room? I have to get my stuff ready for when Aunt Nancy
comes," Lindsay said. After she packed her bag, we laid on her bed and listened
to the radio while I ran my fingers through her hair. I noticed Catherine
standing in the hallway smiling, but I didn't say anything because I didn't want
to embarass her. "Lindsay, your aunt's here," Catherine yelled up the stairs.
 
 "Sara, are you going to be here before I go to school?" Lindsay asked as
getting off the bed. "If you want to be, I would love to," I said as she hugged
my neck. I carried her down the steps, and I saw Catherine talking to a slightly
older version of herself. "Nancy, this is Sara. Sara, my sister Nancy,"
Catherine said introducing us. "Nice to meet you," we said together.
 
 I watched Lindsay give her mom a hug and whisper something in her ear.
Catherine gave her sister a hug, and Nancy smiled at me while whispering
something in Catherine's ear. I had a smile on my face when Catherine shut the
door. "What?" she asked. "Why do I have this feeling that both things that were
said to you were about me?" I asked smiling.
 
 "Miss Sidle, are you insinuating that my sister and daughter were talking
about you," Catherine said smirking. "So, that's how it's going to be. You do
realize that two can play this game," I said. "Don't sing it, bring it,"
Catherine said as I laughed at her phrase. "I see Lindsay has rubbed off on you
too," I said. "I could say the same for you. I was wondering if you needed to
stop at your place before work?" she asked.
 
 "No, I grabbed clothes when Lindsay and I got lunch," I said as I headed for
the bathroom to change. Catherine and I drove to work together considering I was
coming back in the morning. "Evening ladies, what's with the carpool?" Nick
asked. "I babysat Lindsay last night, and she wants me to eat breakfast with her
in the morning," I explained.
 
 Catherine needed to get something from her locker, so I headed for the
breakroom. "Sara, so how did the night go with the littlest Willows?" Warrick
asked smiling. "It was fun. We watched a movie, I read her a story, and woke up
being used as a bed," I said smiling.
 
CHAPTER 3
 
After Warrick and I cleared our case, I headed for the breakroom to see if
Catherine was ready to go. I found her sitting on the couch laughing with Nick.
"Hey Nick, Catherine you ready?" I asked smiling. "If you are," she said patting
Nick on the leg. I let Catherine drive home since I drove us to work. "Sara, I
don't want to upset you, but why are you calling Lindsay, doodlebug?" she asked.
 
 "No it's okay, As I told her, it was one of the nicknames I called Hope, and
she whispered in my ear that she didn't mind it," I explained. "When she gave me
that hug last night, she told me you were coming over for breakfast," Catherine
said. "Well that explains that, but what did Nancy say, and why was she smiling
at me saying it?" I questioned.
 
 Catherine just smiled at me as we pulled into the driveway. She got out of
the car and headed for the house not answering my question. "Mommy, Sara,"
Lindsay said running at us giving us both hugs. "Morning Linds," Catherine said
kissing her head. "Good morning doodlebug," I said. "Sara, can you come here a
minute?" Nancy asked from the kitchen.
 
 Catherine and Lindsay both shrugged their shoulders as I headed for the
kitchen. "Nice to see you again Nancy," I said. "Sara, I love my sister, and I
don't like to see her get hurt. Eddie has done a real number on her, and she is
a little gunshy about dating. I just wanted to let you know that if you hurt my
sister, there will be consequences," Nancy explained.
 
 "Whoa slow down, Catherine and I haven't even decided to date, so you can
save the protective sister routine," I said. "Trust me Sara, she wants to ask,
but she also wants to give you a little time after what happened yesterday
morning. And before you jump down her throat, she didn't tell me what it was,
just that it was personal," Nancy explained.
 
  Nancy and I were hugging when Catherine and Lindsay came in. "Sara, what did
she do?" Catherine asked. "I told Catherine that you were beautiful when I
whispered in her ear last night," Nancy said whispering in my ear. "Nothing, we
just talked, and she gave me a hug," I said winking at Nancy. After breakfast, I
took Lindsay outside.
 
 "Lindsay, I'm going to go. If you need help with your homework that your mom
can't do, give me a call," I said giving her a hug. I made sure Lindsay made it
back into the house before I pulled away. I can't believe that I am here barely
a month, and I have a family who seems to love me. I haven't felt like this
since meeting Rachel's family.
 
 When I got home, there was a message on the machine. I figure it's Lindsay
wishing me sweet dreams. I pushed the button as the message started. 'Hey Sara,
I'm in town for a few days and wanted to let you know so you weren't surprised
if you saw me' the voice said. This is exactly what I don't need especially
after yesterday morning.
 
 I haven't spoken to Lexie since the last time at Rachel and Hope's grave. I
took a shower and dressed for bed. When my alarm went off at three, I got
dressed to go jogging. I was glad that I slept really well considering the last
couple days. Normally when I have days that are emotional, the feelings I get
cloud my head, and I barely sleep.
 
 After my run and shower, I turned on the Discovery Channel to see what it's
showing. It's an episode of Mythbusters. I leave it on to see what crazy stuff
they are going to do. After it was over, I turned on the stereo and went to the
kitchen to make myself some dinner. I got dressed for work after washing the
dishes and sat down on the couch to relax before I left.
 
 I dropped some stuff off in my locker before heading to the breakroom to
await assignments. Warrick, Nick, and I exchanged hello nods as they came in.
They went straight for the video games which means slow night. Catherine came in
giving me a smile as she headed for the coffee pot.
 
 Gil came in right after her and was about to say something until the intercom
stopped him. 'Sara Sidle, you have a guest at the visitor's desk.' I patted
Grissom on the shoulder as I passed him. I think Catherine is following me to
make I'm going to be okay. As the person turned around, I saw it was Lexie, and
I lost it.
 
 She came running towards me as I was heading for the floor. "Sara I'm sorry,
if I would have known this was going to be your reaction. I wouldn't have come,"
Lexie said catching me. "It's not you," I said between sobs. "Um Sara, not to
make light of your feelings, but there is a blond power walking over here
looking to probably kick my ass," Lexie said. "Catherine," I said starting to
regain some composure.
 
 "Catherine stop, is there anyplace we can talk privately?" Lexie asked still
hugging me. Catherine led us to her office. By the time we got there, I had
regained most of my composure. "Catherine, this is my sister Lexie, Lexie, this
is Catherine," I said wiping my eyes with a kleenex.
 
 "I thought you said you only had a brother," Catherine said. "Boy, you really
are blond. You've seen a picture of Rachel and don't see the resemblance," I
said as I got hit with a pillow by Catherine. "Can I talk to you outside?" Lexie
asked Catherine. "Lex, don't give her the protective sister speech," I said.
 
 "Why not, Nancy gave you hers last night. I'll be fine," Catherine said
touching my shoulder before she left. I noticed her walls are covered with
pictures of Lindsay at various parties. That's what hurts the most, knowing that
I won't experience this with Rachel and Hope.
 
CHAPTER 4
 
I turned around when I heard the door opening, and Catherine and Lexie came
in laughing. Catherine smiled at me when our eyes met. "Sara, we ran into Gil
outside, and he said you should Lexie out to dinner, but leave your phone on,"
Catherine said. "Okay, so what are you hungry for Lex?" I asked. "Whatever, it's
the company that counts," Lexie said smiling.
 
 I touched Catherine's arm as I passed her. The ride to the restaurant was a
little quieter than I would have liked. "Sara, it's been seven years, so why did
you react that way when you saw me?" Lexie asked. "Yesterday morning, after
babysitting Lindsay, I woke up with her sleeping on top of me," I said smiling.
"Just like Hope, wait, who's Lindsay?" she asked.
 
 "Catherine's daughter, she got called into work, and her sister was busy, so
she called me," I explained. "So why haven't you asked her out already?" Lexie
asked. "She's giving me space after hearing about Rachel and Hope," I said.
"Like I said, why haven't 'you' asked her out?" she asked.
 
 "I'm scared," I said. "Sara, I can't tell you that nothing will happen to
Catherine or Lindsay, but this is something you can't pass up. All I can tell
you is, talk to her," Lexie said. We discussed what's been going on since I came
to Vegas through the rest of dinner. "I'm just going to get a cab and head to a
hotel so you can get back to work," she said.
 
 "No, I'm going to drop you off at my place, and then I go back to work," I
said. I stopped by Grissom's office to see if anybody needed help. "Hey Sara,
how was dinner?" he asked. "Good, she gave me some things to think about," I
said smiling. "Sorry, there's nothing yet, why don't you go relax," he said. I
headed for Catherine's office to see if she was busy, but she wasn't there.
 
 I decided to stretch out on her couch to wait for her. "Sara," Catherine said
lightly nudging me. "Hey, when you get back?" I asked sitting up. "About five
minutes ago, how long have you been here?" she asked. "Little over an hour, I
checked in with Gil when I came back, and then ended up here," I said glancing
at the clock.
 
 "How was dinner?" Catherine asked. "Good, Lexie, told me I should talk to
you," I said. "About what?" she asked. "I would like to have dinner with you
sometime, but I'm afraid," I said. "Of what?" she asked. "I'm scared that we'll
get close and something will happen to you and Lindsay," I said starting to well
up. "Oh sweetie," she said pulling me into a hug.
 
 "Maybe one of these days we can hug when it doesn't involve me crying," I
said trying to lighten the mood. "Yeah, maybe we can hug over me crying,"
Catherine said making us both laugh. "Thank you, I needed that," I said hugging
her. "How about I make us dinner before work tonight. I can get Nancy to take
Lindsay early," Catherine suggested.
 
 "No, well yes to dinner, but no to Lindsay. She is your daughter, and if we
start dating I want her to be a part of this," I said. "Sara, keep saying things
like that, and I'll never let you go," Catherine said. "Promise," I said. "Let's
see how dinner goes, you might have bad table manners," she said smiling.
 
 "Trust me Catherine, I have better uses for my fingers," I said smirking.
"Sara Sidle, that's the kind of dirty talk I don't want my daughter to hear,"
Catherine said. "Don't worry when she's around, I'll be on my best behavior, but
when it's you and me, all bets are off," I said. "I guess what they say about
the quiet ones is true," she said.
 
 I walked into my apartment and smelled something cooking. I headed for the
kitchen and found Lexie making breakfast. "Lex, you're a guest. You didn't have
to make me breakfast," Oh please, I know how you eat while you're working,"
Lexie said.
 
 "Fine, I know when I can't win, but you'll have to find your own dinner
plans," I said smiling. "So, you and Catherine are done being stupid," Lexie
said laughing. "Yeah, we decided to start out slow, so she making dinner tonight
with Lindsay as our chaperone," I said sitting down as Lexie handed me a plate.
 
 After breakfast, I took a shower before I laid down. I woke up to my alarm
and headed down the hall to see what Lexie was up to. I found her on the couch
reading a book. "Sleep well sis?" she asked looking up. "Yeah I did, better than
I have in a long time," I said smiling. She got off the couch and gave me a hug.
"Rachel would want you to be happy," she said into my ear.
 
 It took me three tries for Lexie to approve my outfit. She pulled me into
another hug before I left. I pulled into Catherine's driveway, and Lindsay came
running out. "Sara!" she yelled as I knelt down so she could hug me. "Hey
doodlebug, how was school?" I asked picking her up and heading inside.
 
 "It was okay, but I don't need any homework help. So you and Mom will have to
entertain yourselves," Lindsay said smiling. "I guess so," I said putting her
down. I walked into the kitchen and noticed Catherine looked ravishing. "Wow
Catherine, you look gorgeous," I said smiling. "So do you, but I had help," she
said smiling.
 
 "Yeah, I did too. Lexie made me change three times, and this was after she
made me breakfast this morning," I said. "Thank her for me and since I'm making
dinner, you have to find something to do," Catherine said shooing me out of the
kitchen. I decided to head upstairs to what Lindsay was up to.
 
CHAPTER 5
 
"Come in," Lindsay said as I knocked on her door. "Mom kick you out of the
kitchen. She does the same thing to me," she said. "Yeah, but that's because she
doesn't want you to hurt yourself," I said sitting on the bed beside her. "I
know. She told me that she didn't want you to help because she is cooking for
you," she said.
 
 "So, how do we pass the time before dinner's ready?" I asked. "We could just
sit back relax and listen to the radio," Lindsay suggested. "Sounds good to me,"
I said as Lindsay laid her head against my side. I looked around her room to see
what kinds of things she likes. I noticed that she had the picture of me,
Rachel, and Hope on her bedside table.
 
 I gave Lindsay a one armed hug as she noticed that I saw the picture. "I was
going to give that back the next time I saw you," Lindsay said. "You keep it. I
have plenty pictures of them," I said kissing the top of her head. "Shh, Mom's
coming act like you're sleeping," Lindsay said as I tilted my head back and
closed my eyes.
 
 "Oh that's just great, I have to put up with two kids. I guess I'll have to
find a way to wake you up," Catherine said. I wanted to open my eyes to see
what's coming, but I didn't. I felt Catherine's lips touch mine, and as I was
about to get into it, she pulled away. "Hey, that was about to get good," I
said.
 
 "Well, that's what you get for following Lindsay's plan," Catherine said.
"What did you expect me to do. You kicked me out of the kitchen, so I picked the
other Willows to bond with," I said smiling. "Well if it means anything, I am a
little jealous. Lindsay's cuddled with you twice," she said pouting.
 
 "I guess we'll have to schedule cuddling then," I said. "Count on it, now
let's eat," Catherine said smiling. Lindsay went ahead of us as we headed
downstairs. When I got to the table, Catherine pulled out my chair. "Thank you,"
I said sitting down. "Your welcome, I made you pasta primavera," Catherine said
putting my plate down.
 
 "How did you know I'm a vegetarian?" I asked. "Sara, I'm a CSI. I watch
people and notice things," Catherine said smiling. "Mom, what did you make me?"
Lindsay asked. "I made your favorite, fish sticks, french fries, and creamed
corn," Catherine said giving Lindsay her plate. Catherine finally sat down with
her own pasta primavera.
 
 "Oh my goodness Catherine, this is delicious," I said. Lindsay told us about
her day while we ate, while Catherine and I kept stealing glances at each other.
After dinner, Catherine and I did the dishes, after I wouldn't let her do them
by herself. "Thank you Catherine, dinner was great," I said softly kissing her
lips.
 
  "Your welcome Sara," Catherine said returning the kiss. We decided to relax
on the couch until Nancy picked up Lindsay. Catherine leaned against me
snuggling into my side as I wrapped my arm around her. "Comfy, isn't she Mom?"
Lindsay asked smiling. "Yeah sweetie, she is," Catherine said taking my hand.
 "Come here Linds," I said patting my lap. Lindsay was sitting on my lap when
the door was unlocked and opened. "Hey Nanc," Catherine said. "Hey Cath, what's
with the Sara sofa?" Nancy asked. "Mom was jealous because I got Sara cuddles
before she did," Lindsay said giggling. "Twice actually," I said joining in.
"Hey, sitting right here," Catherine said.
 
 "Ready Linds?" Nancy asked. Lindsay gave me a hug before getting off. "See
you in the morning Mom," Lindsay said giving her mom a hug and kiss. "Bye guys,"
Nancy said as she left. "I'd like to do this again," I said. "What are you doing
this weekend?" Catherine asked. "I don't know. I'll have to check my schedule,"
I said smiling.
 
 "I've seen this schedule of yours. It said dancing on Saturday with
Catherine," she said putting her head on my lap. "Dancing, that sounds like
fun," I said playing with her hair. "Well then, I guess it's a date," Catherine
said. As she walked me to my car, I turned around. "Can I get a goodnight kiss?"
I asked. Catherine pulled me to her and gave me the tenderest kiss.
 
 I got to work before Catherine, so I headed to the breakroom to wait. "Wow
Sara, you look amazing. Hot date?" Nick asked. "Yeah, I had a wonderful dinner
before work," I said smiling. I was pouring myself a cup of coffee when
Catherine walked in.
 
 "Well, I guess Sara wasn't the only pretty woman with a date tonight," Nick
said as I winked at Catherine. "Yes, I had a lovely dinner with a new friend,"
she said smiling. "I get it. You two had first dates and don't want to jinx
them," Nick said sitting down at the table.
 
 "Exactly," I said as Catherine touched my hand as she passed me. "Sara, these
came for you," Gil said handing me flowers. I read the card. 'Sara, I had a
wonderful evening, and I can't wait to do it again. C'. "I got to find something
to put these in," I said looking around.
 
 "I have an empty vase in my office that I'm not using. Gil, we'll be right
back," Catherine said as I followed her to her office. Once we got inside, I
gave her a kiss. "Catherine, you didn't have to get me flowers," I said smiling.
"Sara, yes I did. It has been forever that I have felt like this, and I wanted
to thank you for that," she said touching my cheek.
 
CHAPTER 6
 
It's been a month since Catherine and I have started dating. Nobody from work
knows, and that's how we like it for now. Catherine told Eddie the first time he
picked up Lindsay who is extremely ecstatic. Nancy is happy as well because she
can hang out with her friends the nights I babysit.
 
 I was heading back to the lab after getting the suspect in my case to
confess. I'm hoping to catch Catherine in her office, but she wasn't there. "Hey
Sara, you looking for Catherine?" Greg asked. "Yeah, I wanted to ask her
something about a case," I said. "Nobody told you," he said. "Nobody told me
what?" I asked.
 
 "Catherine got attacked at a crime scene. I don't know the specifics, but
she's at Desert Palms, now," Greg said. I wanted to cry, but I knew if I started
now, I might not stop. "Thanks Greg," I said running to my car. I turned the
radio up a little louder than usual to keep from thinking too much.
 
 I pulled into the hospital parking lot and took a couple calming breaths
before walking inside. As I entered, Nancy hugged me when she saw me come in.
"Thank god you're here Sara," she said. "What happened?" I asked. "From what I
was told there was someone still in the house that Catherine was working. She
surprised him, and he smashed her head against the wall," Nancy explained.
 
 "He didn't?" I asked still holding back most of my tears. "No, Nick got there
right after Catherine went down, and the police caught the guy while Nick took
care of Catherine," Nancy explained. "Am I allowed to see her?" I asked. "Yeah,
but I have to warn you that Gil is here," she said. "I don't care. Catherine is
more important than our secret," I said.
 
 Nancy and I got off on Catherine's floor, and when Lindsay saw me she ran
towards me. "Sara," she said jumping in my arms. "Hey doodlebug, it's going to
be okay, I promise," I said. I saw this familiar looking older woman coming
towards us. "You must be the famous Sara, I'm hearing about," she said. "I am,
but have we met?" I asked.
 
 "Sara, this is Catherine and I's mother, Lily," Nancy said. "It's nice to
meet you Lily, but I wish it wasn't like this," I said starting to cry. "I do
too, but from what I hear from what I hear from my girls. It's like I've known
you as long as they have," Lily said giving me a hug. I looked up and saw that
Gil was motioning me to come see him.
 
 "I'll be right back," I said kissing Lindsay's cheek and handing her to
Nancy. I tried to blink back the tears, but it wasn't working all that well.
"Sara, what are you doing here?" Gil asked. "Greg told me what happened so I
came to see how she is," I said seeing how long I could lie. "What was with the
family display over there?" he asked.
 
 "I babysit for Catherine from time to time, and since then they have started
treating me like family," I said. "Then what's with the crying?" Gil asked as I
started to get pissed off. "Follow me," I said walking into the stairwell.
"What's so important that you had to drag me out here?" he asked. "Catherine and
I have been going out for the last month, and that's the real reason why I'm
here," I explained.
 
 "So you two have been hiding this from us," Gil said staring to yell. "No,
this has nothing to do with work. What Catherine and I do on our own time is our
business," I said yelling back. "Hey, would you two knock it off. They're
setting Catherine up in her room," Nancy said stopping the fight before it got
worse.
 
 "Stay here, I'll work the case with Nick, but we will talk about this later,"
Gil said. "Can't wait," I said loaded with sarcasm. "What was that all about?"
Nancy asked. "Grissom's upset that we kept our relationship secret from him," I
said. "Whatever, let's go see that girl of yours," she said putting her arm
around me.
 
 We walked back into the waiting room, and Lindsay and Lily had worried looks
on their faces. "What?" I asked. "Is everything okay?" Lindsay asked. "Yeah,
let's go see your mom," I said caressing her cheek. Nancy kept her arm around me
as we walked down the hall. I put my head on her shoulder as we reached
Catherine's door.
 
 "Hey Lumpy," I said smiling walking over to her and kissing her. "I see
you've met Mom," Catherine said. "Yeah I did. When did I become famous?" I
asked. "The way Lindsay talks about you to her grandma makes you sound it,"
Catherine said smiling. "Hi Mommy," Lindsay said coming up beside me. "Hi
sweetie," Catherine said as I sat Lindsay in bed beside her.
 
 "Uncle Gil was yelling at Sara," Lindsay said as I cringed hoping to avoid
this conversation. "Sis, Mom and I will take Lindsay home, so you and Sara can
talk," Nancy said smiling at me as she picked up Lindsay. As soon as the door
shut, Catherine looked at me. "Why was Gil yelling at you?" she asked. "He asked
what I was doing here, and I tried not to tell him, but he asked why I was
crying which is when I told him we were dating," I explained.
 
 "That's not it is it?" Catherine asked. "No, he wants to talk to us when you
get out," I said. "Let's not worry about that now. I want spend time with my
girl," she said kissing my hand. "I love you," I said smiling. "Well that's good
because I love you too," she said as I softly kissed her lips.
 
 "I knew it," Greg said scaring the crap out of us. "Greg, what are you doing
here?" I asked. "I was on my way home and wanted to see how Catherine was
doing," he said smiling. "What do you mean by 'you knew it'?" I asked. "As much
as I would like to explain this, I'm tired. Sara, take Greg out to breakfast and
fill him in," Catherine said yawning.
 
CHAPTER 7
 
I gave Catherine a chaste kiss on the lips before leaving. "Let's go," I said
grabbing Greg by the arm and leading him out. As we got in the car, he had a
stupid looking smile on his face, but he still hasn't said anything.
 
 After arriving at the diner, Greg decided to sit across from me. The waitress
took our drink orders and said she would be back for our orders in a couple
minutes. "Are you going to ask or do you want me just to tell you?" I asked
trying to see if he was finally going to speak.
 
 "How long have you two been seeing each other?" he asked. I explained most of
the story, but I didn't tell him about Rachel or Hope. I probably will, but not
anytime soon. The waitress comes back with our drinks, and I got a western
omelet, and Greg decided on a short stack with home fries.
 
 I think he noticed the tenderness of the subject, so he changed the subject
to what's been going on at work. He was telling me funny stories about the guys
that happened before I got there. He told me this one story that Nick told him
about how Catherine ended up covered in mud. Apparently after an all day rain
storm she lost her footing getting to a scene and slid down a muddy hillside.
 
 "So, what was it like in Frisco?" he asked. I told him how I came to know
Grissom and about it was pretty much the same as here. He tried to get me to
tell him about any girlfriends I had, but I just said there were a couple and
left it at that. The waitress brought us the check, and Greg waved me off as I
grabbed for it.
 
 I gave him a kiss on the cheek as I walked him to his car when we got back to
the hospital. I stopped in the hospital gift shop before heading to Catherine's
room. I found this cute bear holding a heart that said 'Get Well Soon'. I
knocked on her door in case she was still sleeping. "Come in," I heard Catherine
say through the door. As I entered, I saw that Nick and Warrick were sitting at
her bedside.
 
 "Guys," I said holding the bear at my side.
 
 "Sara, come to give Catherine a get well present," Warrick said with the same
smile Greg had earlier.
 
 I felt my face get red after hearing what Warrick said, and Nick tried to
hide his smile. "Guys, leave her alone. Sara, they're just teasing. Gil told
them about us, but as you can tell they don't care," Catherine explained. Nick
and Warrick both agreed that if Catherine was happy, they were happy. They both
gave me a hug as they left.
 
 I gave Catherine a kiss before I gave her the bear. I told her that Greg
didn't have a problem with us either, so it was just going to be Gil having a
problem. I sat down in the chair and rested my head on her arm as she ran her
fingers through my hair. It must have been soothing because the next thing I
know Lily is waking me up.
 
 "Sara, come on I take you home," she said helping me up. I was pretty much
leaning on her as she led me down to her car. My next recollection was of her
waking me back up and leading me into the house. She sat me down on the bed and
took off my shoes before tucking me in.
 
 I woke up hearing talking in the hallway. I sat up and realized that I wasn't
at home. I figured out that Lily must have brought me to Catherine's house
because I fell asleep before I could tell her where I lived. I heard someone
knock on the door. "Come in," I said leaning against the headboard.
 
 "Sara," Lindsay said climbing on the bed to give me a hug. She told me that
her grandma told her I was here when she picked her up from school. She told me
that she could use my help with some of her homework. I told her to take it to
the dining room, and I would meet her there after I went to the bathroom.
 
 Lily handed me a cup of coffee when I came into the kitchen. I thank her for
taking care of me. She gave me a hug and thanked me for making Catherine happy.
I told her the feeling was mutual. She walked me out of the kitchen as she
headed back to the living room.
 
 Lindsay and I made quick work of her homework. When Lindsay went to her room
to drop off her stuff, I decided to join Lily in the living room. "Um Lily, can
you take me to the hospital so I can pick up my car?" I asked. She said it
wasn't a problem, she wanted to know if I could watch Lindsay tonight since
Nancy was working, and she had a church function. I told her it wouldn't be a
problem, but I would need to pick up some things at my place.
 
CHAPTER 8
 
"Can we stop in and say goodnight to Mommy?" Lindsay asked. Lily and I looked
at each other and told her it would be fine. I picked up Lindsay as we headed
for the car. Lindsay begged me to sit in the back seat with her while Lily
smiled.
 
 Lindsay and I were thumb wrestling during the ride. She beat me everytime,
but only because I was letting her. Although, I did make her work for it. I saw
Lily smiling through the rear view mirror at us a couple times while we were
playing.
 
 Lily walked ahead of us as we entered the hospital. When we got off on
Catherine's floor, I heard yelling coming from her room. I gave Lindsay to her
grandmother and told her to wait until I came back. I yanked open Catherine's
door and saw Gil.
 
 "What the hell are you doing here?" I asked getting between him and
Catherine.
 
 "I just came to talk, and Catherine had a problem with the subject," Gil said
smirking.
 
 I escorted him outside and told Lily to take Lindsay to see her mom. I told
Lindsay I would be in in a minute. I walked up to Gil and got in his face. "What
the hell do you think you're doing? She's in the hospital. If you have a
problem, you discuss it with me, not her," I said staring into his eyes.
 
 "What are you doing Sara, trying again? Does Catherine know you killed your
first wife and daughter?" Gil asked evilly walking away. I stood shocked at what
I just heard. I can't believe he would say that. I ran in the direction he went
hoping to catch him before I started to cry.
 
 I caught up with him in the stairwell. I walked up behind him and turned him
around. He started to say something, but I punched him in the face before he got
a chance to. "Thank you Sara, you are suspended pending an investigation," Gil
said wiping the blood from his mouth.
 
 I walked back up to Catherine's room a little in shock. Lily was waiting
outside her room when she saw me come up the hallway. "Sara, what's wrong?" she
asked wrapping me up in a hug as I started crying. She took me into the restroom
to get away from prying eyes.
 
 She sat me down on a toilet and handed me tissues from her purse. She asked
me what was wrong again, and I told her I was suspended for punching Gil. I knew
what her next question would be so I told her about Rachel and Hope, and what
Gil had said that caused me to hit him.
 
 "Sara, I'm so sorry. You do know that it wasn't your fault, right?" Lily
asked. I told that I did, but it doesn't mean what he said didn't hurt. She took
my hand, and we headed back to see Catherine. She told me that she would take
Lindsay home so we could talk.
 
 I waited outside until Lily brought out Lindsay. I gave her a hug and told
that I would be there shortly. I know this conversation with Catherine is
probably not going to be fun. I open up the door and put on my best fake smile
as I walk up beside her.
 
 "You can put that away. I'm not buying it," Catherine said taking my hand. I
sat down in the chair and told her everything that happened outside. I looked at
her as she got the biggest smile on her face. She told me not to worry about my
suspension. She would take care of it.
 
 "I should get going, I watching Lindsay tonight, but I'll be here in the
morning to pick you up," I said giving her a kiss. I headed for the parking lot
in a better mood. I'm thinking of calling Lexie tonight to talk.
 
 Arriving at my place, I grabbed a couple days worth of clothes in case
Catherine would need help with Lindsay when she come homes tomorrow. I grabbed a
water from the fridge before leaving and heading to Catherine's. Lindsay must
have been waiting for me because she ran to me as I got out of the car.
 
 "Sara, are you feeling better?" Lindsay asked as I grabbed my bag from the
back seat.
 
 "Yeah, your mom kissed me and made everything better doodlebug," I said as
she took my hand heading for the house.
 
 Lily noticed I was in a better mood when I came inside. She gave me a hug as
she headed out the door. Lindsay told me that her grandma called for a pizza so
I didn't have to worry about dinner. I sat down on the couch with Lindsay to
watch TV until the food got here. I am starting to wonder what Catherine meant
by taking care of it.
 
CHAPTER 9
 
Lindsay was taking her bath while I finished cleaning up after dinner. I
decided to call Lexie while I waited for Lindsay and tell her that I might be
coming for a visit considering I have time on my hands.
 
 After telling her what Grissom had said and my subsequent retaliation. She
couldn't believe he would throw that up in my face. She told me that Mom and Dad
would love to see me and maybe even bring the girl that stole their daughter's
heart. I still tear up when I hear them talk about me like that. I told her that
I would discuss it with Catherine and see.
 
 "Discuss what with Mom?" Lindsay asked coming into the room. I told Lex that
I would call her back with whatever we decided. She told me she loved me before
hanging up. I smiled at Lindsay after hanging up and told her what I was talking
about.
 
 "You know that I'm on Spring Break next week," she said smiling. I told her
that we would talk to her mom about it before deciding. We ended up watching a
movie before I put her to bed. I noticed halfway through she was falling asleep,
so I picked her up and tucked her in.
 
 I went downstairs to make sure everything was locked up and shut off before
heading to the spare room. I laid down and grabbed the book I brought over. I
was started to nod off after a couple chapters, so I marked my page and was
about to turn out the light when I heard Lindsay knocking on my door.
 
 "Come in," I said sitting up as Lindsay came in with her stuffed monkey.
 
 "Can I sleep in here? I had a bad dream," Lindsay asked. I scooted over and
patted the space beside me. I told her that I would keep the bad dreams away as
I wrapped my arm around her. I kissed the top of her head as I laid down, and
she curled up against me.
 
 I felt something fuzzy on my face and try to swat it away,but it just
shifted. I threw it off my face with a scream which made Lindsay shoot out of
bed. After focusing my eyes, I saw Catherine, Nancy, and Lily all laughing at me
from the hallway.
 
 "Look out Sara, Jojo was trying to get you," Catherine said trying to contain