Ch. 7 Ch. 8 Ch. 9 Ch. 10

CHAPTER 6

 

Buffy sat very still after her two friends disappeared through the crowd. Willow left. She hadn’t even given her a chance to explain. Grabbing her soft drink, Buffy downed it in a few deep gulps. Too bad it wasn’t something stronger than carbonated sugar water.

 

The table shuddered suddenly, the ice cubes in the empty glass rattling together.

 

“God, I’m sorry. Did I spill your drink? I can get you a refill.” White teeth flashed in the strobing lights of the club.

 

Buffy dropped her eyes back to the table.

 

“Hey.” A hand appeared in her field of vision. “Are you OK?”

 

“I’m fine. Don’t worry about the drink,” Buffy told the young man staring worriedly at her. She stood up. Staying was a bad idea. She needed to go…beat up on some vampires.

 

The young man moved in front of her, and Buffy might have simply shoved past him if he hadn’t seemed so concerned. “I recognize that look. Ex-boyfriend? Loan shark?” Leaning against the table, he cocked his head at her. “You can tell me. I won’t repeat a word; I promise.”

 

The need for a little vamp therapy still pulsed through her, but Buffy found herself smiling at her erstwhile savior. “Look, I appreciate the offer.” Her smile widened. “Maybe not the soda bath…”

 

A deep chuckle cut through the music. “I normally save that for a second meeting. I guess I’m off my game tonight.” He held out a hand. “Parker Abrams, normal guy and college student. You?”

 

Taking the proffered hand, she replied, “Buffy Summers, also a college student.” Thinking about the lack of ‘normal’ in her life erased the smile from Buffy’s face. “I’m sorry. If you’re looking for company, keep looking. I’d just make us both depressed.” She dropped his hand and stepped back. “I’ve got to go. Maybe I’ll see you around, Parker Abrams.”

 

“Wait! You can’t go out like this.” Parker shoved away from the table and trotted after her. “Buffy, come on. At least let me walk you back to the dorms. Sunnydale isn’t safe, you know. We have lots of muggers and wild dogs.”

 

Buffy’s stride hitched at his comment. She barely held back a bitter response on the state of Sunnydale’s nightlife. “I’ll be fine. I…I work out a lot, and I can take care of myself.” As soon as she said that, Buffy realized she wasn’t armed. There wasn’t even a stake in her jacket pocket.

 

Sliding an arm around Buffy’s waist, Parker shrugged. “Wouldn’t matter if you were a black belt, Buffy. Pretty girls should always have an escort.” He glanced at her and winked. “Since no one else has volunteered, I’ll just have to step in.”

 

The arm – and the implied comfort – convinced Buffy to stay silent and let Parker walk with her to the door. She stopped him there, though. “Stay, please,” she pleaded. “I…” Telling him he was in more danger from the vampires than she was didn’t seem like a good plan. “I need some alone time to think about that ex,” Buffy finally explained.

 

He didn’t want to listen. Thick eyebrows drawing together in a frown, Parker started to protest.

 

“Good night.” Going up on her toes, Buffy brushed her lips across his cheek and ducked out the door before he could argue. Once outside, she took off at top speed, fleeing Parker and the memory of Willow’s back as she walked away.

 

***

 

As Tara had expected, the library was almost deserted. She headed straight for the upper floors, where only graduate students and professors normally roamed. Large tables and study carrels dotted the spaces between rows of shelves.

 

Peering around, Tara didn’t see anyone else. Perfect. With a tired sigh, she trudged to the most remote corner and dumped her bag onto the floor. Sitting in the hard wooden chair, Tara leaned her head back and closed her eyes.

 

The incessant hum of the overhead lights echoed in her head.

 

Tara shifted. Placing her arms on the table, she buried her head in them.

 

The sound died away, and Tara smiled in her warm and artificially dark ‘room.’ Her breathing evened out, and she drifted…

 

A loud bang rocketed her out of her chair. Heart pounding, she looked frantically around the library. Wearing a sheepish grin, a male student waved the book he’d just picked up from the floor. Feeling weak and shaky from the abrupt movements, Tara dropped back into the chair. This wasn’t working. Sleep was impossible.

 

She reached into her bag and brought out her journal. Writing about her day always helped her relax. Tara read over the last few sentences of her earlier entry before beginning another paragraph.

 

Well, Mama. It was that Buffy Summers. I couldn’t believe it, but…It was. She looked exactly the same.

 

The pen came off the paper, and Tara chewed on the cap. Was that really right? Buffy hadn’t looked like a cheerleader anymore. She’d been wearing faded jeans and tennis shoes.

 

Maybe I was just expecting her to be the same, Mama. I can’t actually remember now. I was so mad. And scared.

 

Even while simply writing in her journal, Tara felt compelled to tell the truth. Her mother had insisted on it.

 

The only good thing today was meeting Willow and Faith. Willow is Buffy’s friend, but she’s really nice. And funny. She babbles when she talks, like a tape on fast forward. Her girlfriend had the strangest aura. All golden and really, really powerful.

 

More teeth marks dented the abused plastic cap as Tara stared sightlessly at her journal. Faith…Faith had never answered her about what she was.

 

I don’t think she’s a demon, Mama. She was too nice and good for that. And Willow is a witch. She’s been teaching herself. I wish I could work with her. I haven’t trained with anyone since…since you died. I probably won’t get the chance, though. I’m going to the Housing people in the morning. I can’t be Buffy’s roommate. I can’t.

 

Her eyes burned with tears and exhaustion. Tossing the pen onto the table, Tara rubbed her hands over her eyes. “Goddess, I have to sleep.” She left the journal out in case sleep still eluded her, and tried her arm bed again.

 

This time, she drifted off without interruption.

 

***

 

Since she was using Slayer speed, Buffy kept to the shadows and cemeteries on her way home. Panting, she burst into the house without a thought to what was proper. “Mom!”

 

The noise of her entrance, combined with her yell, got an almost immediate response. “Honey? What’s wrong?” Joyce’s head popped up over the back of the couch.

 

All of Buffy’s emotional control shattered. “Willow…she…she left, Mom. I told her about Tara, and she left.” The words were garbled by the sobs trying to escape from her throat. Buffy stared at her mother through scalding tears. “What am I going to do, Mom? Willow hates me.”

 

***

 

“Looks like you’re workin’ real hard there, T.” Tara’s head snapped up at Faith’s wry comment. “Thought you said you had a paper or some shit to do.”

 

Oops. Mind still fuzzy from sleep, Tara scrambled for a response.

 

She was too slow. “Don’t hurt yourself. Did you really think we bought the ‘working on a paper’ thing anyway?” Faith snorted. “I only look dumb.”

 

Rubbing her crusted and tired eyes, Tara mumbled, “I didn’t think you’d care.”

 

Faith’s silence grew glacial.

 

“I guess you do, though.” Tara flicked a glance up at Faith’s angry brown eyes. “Why? You just met me. I’m not a friend. I’m…I’m only Buffy’s roommate.”

 

“Not for long, T. In fact, we’re moving you out right now.” Faith unlooped Tara’s bag from the back of the chair and slung it over her head. “Until B gets her head out of her ass, you can room with me and Red.”

 

Between the surprise and the slew of nicknames, Tara struggled to make sense of the words. “You want me to move in with you and Willow?” Her voice rose a little, seeming to echo in the vast library. Wait a minute… “Where is Willow? And does she know you’re here?”

 

Faith’s sigh suggested she was tired of talking. “Red knows. I took her home after the thing at the Bronze.” She hesitated, looking everywhere except at Tara. “She’s kinda upset at B right now and I didn’t want her hauling ass through town like that.”

 

If Tara slumped any farther in the chair, she slither right out and underneath the table. It was a very tempting thought. “Why…why is W-Willow upset at B-Buffy?” The stutter increased as the tension grew.

 

“Come on, Blondie. You don’t even look dumb. Don’t play the blonde card. B’s got that one all locked up.” Faith held out a hand. “Let’s motor. Leavin’ Red alone when she’s pissed ain’t always a good thing. Last time, she tried this spell…” Breaking off, Faith grimaced. “Like I said, it ain’t a good idea for her to be by herself.”

 

Reluctantly, Tara took the proffered hand. “You don’t have to invite me to your place, Faith. I c-can go back to the do-dorm.” It wasn’t like she didn’t have enough magic to keep Buffy away from her.

 

“Grab your notebook and let’s go.” Faith didn’t seem impressed with Tara’s comment. “You want to go back to the dorm in the morning, I won’t argue.”

 

Tara relaxed slightly.

 

“Red, though… She ain’t as reasonable as me. You might want to get your thoughts all together before the big blow up.” A slow grin, bracketed by dimples, left Tara in no doubt that Faith didn’t think she could win against Willow.  “We’ll swing by the dorm and pick up your things. If B’s there, I’ll do the packing and you can stay downstairs.”

 

Too tired to fight anymore, Tara plodded after Faith. With each step, her feet felt lighter, and a smile tried to sneak out. Maybe this wouldn’t be so bad after all.

 

CHAPTER 7

 

Tara felt the tension return as Faith opened the door to Stevenson Hall. Buffy might be in their room.

 

“Relax, T.” Faith must have sensed her fear. A warm hand dropped onto Tara’s shoulder. “B ain’t here.”

 

“H-how do you kn-know?” Stuttering from the stress, Tara ducked away from the reassuring hand and plodded up the stairs.

 

In a move that left Tara even more drained of energy, Faith ran by, taking the stairs three at a time. “Trust me, Blondie,” she called from the next landing, “if B was here, I’d know. It’s a gift.” She grinned and her dimples teased an answering smile from Tara. “Now, when we get in the room, you park yourself on the bed while I pack. Things might get wadded up, but maybe you won’t be ready to pass out on the walk home.”

 

Flushing at the accurate assessment of her condition, Tara silently followed Faith to the room. She watched numbly as Faith used her own key and unlocked the door.

 

“See? No B.” Faith waved at the empty room. “Now, sit your ass down and start pointing to the stuff you can’t live without.” Her wink belied the gruffness of her words as she rummaged in Buffy’s closet and unearthed a duffle bag.

 

“Um…It’s ju-just the stuff in the dr-dresser and the skirts in the closet.” Tara dropped onto her never-used bed.

 

Faith yanked open drawers. True to her word, clothes and underwear went into the bag with absolutely no regard for wrinkles. She finished clearing out the single drawer Tara had filled. “You ain’t got a lot.”

 

Tara shook her head. “No.” She didn’t elaborate.

 

“You and me, T. We’re a lot alike,” Faith announced.  Ignoring Tara’s wide-eyed astonishment, she moved to the closet and pulled the skirts from the hangers. “When I jumped off the train in Sunnydale, I had one bag. Everything I owned.” Her voice trailed off, and Tara saw her shoulders slump for a second.

 

There was an implied vulnerability in that pose. It called out to Tara. “Y-you were run-running from something?” she stuttered. She couldn’t imagine the brash and confident Faith afraid of anything.

 

“You could say that, T.” Faith’s shoulders snapped back, as if she were forcibly reminding herself to keep them that way. “Life sucked in Boston.” She didn’t continue, and Tara watched her stare across the room with a vacant look in her eyes. After a minute, Faith blinked. “Fuck. Sorry about that. Don’t think about that shit very often.”

 

“I do.” Tara hunched forward. “I th-think about it all the time.” That was the problem. She couldn’t shake the memories.

 

The duffel landed on the bed next to her, startling Tara into looking up.

 

“Then you need to stop,” Faith announced bracingly. “Come on. Take a look around to make sure I got everything before we head home. It gets too much later and Red is gonna be real unhappy.”

 

She made it sound like the end of the world, and Tara couldn’t stop her giggle. “A fate to be avoided at all costs?”

 

“You know it, T. Red’s got a temper to match her hair.” Faith stuffed her hands in her back pockets and rocked on her heels while Tara peered into the closet and drawers. “We good to go?”

 

“We’re good.” Tara grabbed the bag and looped it across her shoulders on the opposite side of her book bag. At Faith’s sardonic look, though, she yanked it back off and thrust it at Faith. “I’m n-not a little kid. I c-can ca-carry my own luggage.”

 

Faith’s only response was a wide smile as she spun and strode out the door.

 

“It wasn’t heavy. It wouldn’t hurt me to carry my own clothes,” Tara mumbled.

 

“I heard that, Blondie. Get the lead out. My girl’s waiting for us.” Faith’s voice wafted into the room.

 

Making an unseen face at her tormentor, Tara slammed and locked the door.  “Ready, Faith.” Tara bared her teeth in a wide, patently false, smile. “Willow won’t have to w-wait much longer.”

 

“‘Bout damn time.” Faith flung open the door to the stairwell. She set a quick pace, and Tara jogged down the stairs trying to keep up. “How long you been doing the magic stuff, T?”

 

At least Faith had waited until they were out of the dorm and hustling across the Quad.  “As l-long as I can remember,” Tara answered softly. “Mama m-made sure I kn-knew the basics.” They’d hidden in the attic and poured over spell books and potions. Tara still heard her mother’s voice explaining the need for balance in nature and magic, and her stern warnings against using her power for everyday tasks.

 

“I ain’t asking to make you feel pressured.” Tara bit back a smile at Faith’s transparent start. “But you think you could maybe teach Red some of that? She’s real smart. Too smart, sometimes. She kinda thinks she’s better than the books.”

 

A shiver worked its way down Tara’s spine. “You mean she makes up her own spells?” That was bad. She hadn’t felt any dark magic in Willow’s aura, but Tara hadn’t been looking for any, either. A novice witch branching out on her own… It was like opening a door for evil.

 

“A couple of times.” Faith reached out and grabbed Tara’s arm to steady her as she stumbled. “Nothing big.”

 

Faith’s eyes slid to the side as she said that. She was lying. “I’d be happy to h-help if Wil-Willow wants me to.” If she didn’t, Tara couldn’t force her to learn the right way to spellcast.

 

“Wicked. Thanks, Blondie.” Faith’s smile was so bright, Tara realized she must have really been worried about Willow.

 

“You’re welcome.” Still trotting to stay close to Faith, Tara followed the other girl through a narrow, gated entrance to a large apartment complex. A few more minutes - and three very long flights of stairs later - they stopped in front of a door.

 

Faith dug out her keys, but the door swung open to reveal an extremely disheveled Willow. “Hey, I thought you guys got lost. I was about to call Giles and start looking for you.” Wiping away a tear, Willow stepped back and waved for them to go inside.

 

***

 

Buffy balled up the tissue in her hand and sniffed.

 

“I’m sure you’re overreacting, honey. Give Willow a chance to calm down and then talk to her.” Joyce wrapped her arm more tightly around Buffy and stroked a hand over Buffy’s left arm.

 

“Are you sure?” Buffy wasn’t. She wasn’t sure at all.

 

A kiss pressed against her head. “I’m sure, honey. You and Willow have been through too much for this to be more than a bump in the road.”

 

It was exactly what Buffy wanted to believe. “Thanks, Mom.” A yawn caught her off guard. “Do you mind if I skip the rest of the movie and go to bed?” Not like either of them had actually watched any of the movie to this point.

 

“Go on, Buffy. I think I might have an early night, too.” Joyce’s deep breath and sigh were loud against the sounds of the television. “I’ve spent too many late nights watching reruns and tearjerkers.”

 

Standing up, Buffy held out her hand. “I’m not that far away, Mom. You could always come visit.”

 

“I didn’t want to intrude, honey. You’re in college now; I’d just be in the way.” Joyce’s arm snaked around Buffy’s back again as they moved to the stairs.

 

“In the way of what? My demon ex-roommate trying to take over my body? Or me scaring my new roommate the second she walks in the door?” Buffy tilted her head and looked up at Joyce. “I haven’t had a social life since we left LA, Mom. Even as College Buffy, I’m still the Slayer. I do classes, I attempt to do homework, and I slay. End of story. Some good old fashioned Mom Time would be a welcome change.”

 

They walked up the stairs in silence. At Buffy’s door, Joyce turned and wrapped her in a hug. “Buffy Time sounds good to me, too.” Her voice was husky and choked, and she turned and moved away so quickly Buffy didn’t have a chance to respond. “Good night, honey. Remember our doughnut run in the morning.”

 

***

 

“Now, remember, honey. Just be yourself with Tara. I’m sure once she sees you aren’t the same Buffy from Hemery, she’ll change her mind about leaving.” Joyce smiled reassuringly.

 

“Thanks, Mom.” Returning the smile, Buffy leaned across the Jeep and hugged Joyce before leaping to the sidewalk. “I’ll give it a try.” With a final wave, she jogged up to the dorm. The Jeep’s engine roared behind her as she yanked open the door to Stevenson Hall and sprinted up the stairs. “Tara’s still here. Tara’s still here,” Buffy chanted with each huge stride.

 

The hallway was full of people in a hurry. Buffy mumbled a few good mornings as she dodged the bodies clogging her path. She paused outside her dorm room’s door. “I’m not that person anymore.” The key slipped into the lock; the handle turned. Buffy stepped inside…

 

…and stared at the empty bed and lack of personal items on Tara’s side of the room.  She was gone.

 

Numbly, Buffy wandered over and sat on her bed. Tara was gone. She hadn’t even given her a chance to explain or make up for what had happened in Los Angeles. The silence in the room was stifling.

 

She couldn’t stay here. Not now. Buffy jumped up. She had to get out of here.

 

Almost running, Buffy fled the room and the residence hall. She needed to talk to Willow. Her footsteps slowed. No, she couldn’t do that. Willow was mad at her. Willow had walked away, too, just like Tara.

 

Home? 

 

No. Her mom was at the gallery.

 

“Giles,” Buffy said out loud. She could go talk to Giles. She hadn’t seen him in a few days. Picking up her pace again, she jogged down the sidewalk. A long talk and some sparring. That would help.

 

“Buffy?” The voice didn’t register at first. “Buffy! Stop!” The shout finally penetrated and she skidded to a halt.  Panting, Parker Abrams ran up. “I saw you come out of Stevenson. Is something wrong? The meeting with the loan shark not go so well?”

 

It took Buffy a few seconds to make the connection to their conversation from last night. “Something like that.” Buffy didn’t tell him that she was actually the loan shark and Tara the customer afraid of getting her legs broken. “Look, I’m sorry…”

 

“Why? You didn’t do anything.” Parker smiled. “Are you late for class or is this part of your daily workout?”

 

Neither, Buffy wanted to say. This is me running away from my problems, like always. “No. No classes. I had some free time. Thought I’d hit the gym.”

 

“I’m sure your muscles could handle a day off,” he said. Holding out his hand, Parker pleaded. “Why don’t we go for a walk? I know a great place to have lunch later, and I’m a really good listener, too.”

 

Buffy hesitated. She really needed to talk to Giles. Pound on the heavy bag.

 

“Please?” Parker added softly.

 

His hand was warm as she reached out and took it. “Where to, Parker Abrams?”

 

CHAPTER 8

 

“It’s a beautiful day,” Parker said. “How about we just walk? Do a little talking?”

 

Talking was the last thing Buffy wanted to do. She had too many secrets, too many things to hide. “The walk sounds perfect.” The only way the talking would work was if… “So tell me about Parker Abrams. What do you do when you aren’t out rescuing people from loans sharks or exes?”

 

He hadn’t let go of Buffy’s hand. In fact, his thumb made tiny circles on the back of it as they ambled along the path through the Quad. “Actually, you’re my first rescue,” Parker confessed. “You seem to bring out the knight in shining armor in me, Buffy Summers.”

 

“Really?” Buffy glanced up, smiling slightly. “I’m not normally the needs to be saved type.” In fact, I usually do the saving, she continued in her head. “It feels nice not to fight my own battles for once.”

 

“Look!” Parker pointed the finger of his free hand at her. “Was that a smile? A real smile?”

 

Giggling, Buffy ducked her head. “No. No way. You must be seeing things.”

 

Silence answered her. Then, in a puzzled voice, Parker said, “I didn’t imagine the smile, but… Buffy, what’s this on your neck?”

 

Shit. Stiffening, Buffy fought the urge to yank the collar of her shirt over the scar Parker had seen. “Oh, that.” That’s just the bite my vampire boyfriend gave me after the Mayor of Sunnydale poisoned him.

 

Parker stopped walking, his hand tightening around hers. “Buffy?” He obviously wasn’t going to leave it alone.

 

“I…uh…I got bitten.” Understatement. With what she hoped was a convincingly casual smile, Buffy explained, “By a puppy.”

 

“Must have been a really angry puppy. You have a scar.” Parker stroked a finger over the mark, and Buffy shivered at the light, almost tickling touch.

 

Needing to change the subject, Buffy tried to turn the tables. “Now that you’ve seen my scars…do I get to see yours?” She nearly rolled her eyes; that was way too flirty for a first stroll across campus.

 

From his grin, Parker didn’t see it that way. “I don’t have anything like that, Buffy.” The grin got wider. “All of my scars are psychological.”

 

This was better. Buffy relaxed now that the conversation wasn’t focused on her. “Oooh, inner scars. Those are the best kind.” She bumped his hip and then resumed their walk. “So what is it?” Emulating his fishing expedition from the previous night, she asked, “Bad break up? Crazy ex-girlfriend?” Enjoying their banter, Buffy kept trying to guess at Parker’s scars. “I know. You’re a CIA agent, posing as a college student.”

 

“Not quite.” Parker wasn’t smiling.

 

Getting a bad feeling about his answer, Buffy sobered, too. “Parker?” Had she offended him somehow?

 

“My father…” She saw him swallow hard. “My father died recently.”

 

“Oh my God, Parker.” Buffy came to an abrupt halt and spun to face him. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to bring that up.” Bowing her head, she mumbled, “Bad, bad Buffy.” She should go to Giles’. At least there, she didn’t have to worry about hurting anything except the heavy bag and her hands.

 

As she pulled away, Parker gripped her arm. “Hey, don’t worry. I’m OK to talk about it now.” He peered intently into her eyes. “Really.”

 

Buffy slowly accepted his assurances. “I can’t imagine losing a parent. Well, I lost my dad a long time ago. To his secretary,” she said bitterly. “But Mom…” Shivering, Buffy flinched at just the thought.

 

“Yeah. It’s not easy.” Buffy wrapped an arm around Parker as he went on, “I don’t want you to get the wrong idea, though. This isn’t some big ploy for sympathy. I’m not like that.”

 

He smiled again, and Buffy couldn’t resist returning it. He had a nice smile.

 

“Don’t you just hate guys that are all ‘I’m dark and brooding, so give me love?’” Parker led them off the path and sat on a shaded bench.

 

“I don’t think I’ve met anyone like that,” Buffy lied. The scar on her neck itched suddenly. “I’ve been too busy to do much dating.” That wasn’t exactly untrue. Slaying and a normal social life didn’t go together. And Angel…well, moonlit picnics in cemeteries didn’t count in Buffy’s book.

 

A light breeze rustled the leaves and branches overhead.

 

Parker turned slowly, drawing his right knee up onto the bench and facing Buffy. “You give any thought to changing that? Maybe making time in your schedule for a date now and then?”

 

“Not until now,” Buffy answered. Was he leaning toward her? Watching closely, Buffy decided he was. Parker got closer and closer. Buffy felt him press into her side, as his head tilted, and his lips hovered above hers for a long second. “I think it’s time I made time for dating.”

 

She shifted her weight, moving in to Parker’s soft kiss.

 

***

 

Smoothing her sweating hands over her skirt, Tara stepped out of the bedroom. “G-good morning,” she said softly.

 

“Hey, T. Thought you were gonna hide in there all day.” Faith looked up from the dagger she was sharpening. “You sleep OK?”

 

“Yes.” Tara didn’t think the Goddess or her mother would object to the white lie. She’d slept better in the bed than in the library last night, after all. “What are you d-doing?” Pointing at the knife, she asked, “Why do you h-have a d-dagger?”

 

Faith cocked her head and frowned. “You forget your date already?” She held up the weapon, twirling the pommel in her hand. “These come in handy when I need to step in.”

 

“Uh…” Willow had mentioned Sunnydale wasn’t safe, but they had so many problems Faith carried weapons? “Are you a c-cop?” Didn’t police officers carry guns, instead of knives?

 

A husky chuckle let her know she was off base with her question. “Definitely not a cop, T. Special security, maybe.” Faith hopped up and shoved the dagger into a leather sheath resting on an end table. “But that ain’t a big deal right now. You want some breakfast?”

 

Off balance from the rapid topic change, Tara nodded dazedly. “Sure. B-breakfast sounds good.”

 

“Hope you don’t mind company. I’m starving.” Moving quickly, Faith crossed the living room to the small galley kitchen. “Bacon and eggs, OK? I’m pretty good with the simple stuff. Anything else and things get crispy.”

 

“I c-can make my own br-breakfast, Faith,” Tara protested.

 

Brown eyes narrowed at her.

 

“And I w-won’t even burn down the kitchen.” So there, she added inside. “If I’m going to be s-staying here then I’m not a guest. I n-need to earn my keep.”

 

Faith cracked several eggs against the countertop and dumped the yolks and whites into a bowl. “Next time. Grab a seat and enjoy your one day of pamperin’.”

 

Tara did as ordered. Climbing onto a stool at the pass-through, she watched Faith whisk the bowl of eggs so rapidly that they turned to yellow froth. “How is Wil-Willow this morning?”

 

The whisk slowed for a second before picking up speed again. “Red’s dealing.” Faith didn’t seem to want to talk about her girlfriend.

 

Unfortunately for her, Tara needed to know more. She didn’t want to stay here if her presence was going to cause problems between Faith and Willow. “She didn’t look like she was ‘dealing’ last night. She’d been crying.” A lot, from the red-rimmed eyes and swollen nose Willow had sported when they’d gotten to the apartment. “She and B-Buffy are good fr-friends?” Tara struggled to make sense of that.

 

“Yeah, she and B have been through a lot.” Still not looking up, Faith left the egg mixture sitting on the counter and pulled a rasher of bacon out of the refrigerator. The strips lined the skillet she placed on the stove.

 

Wh-what about you and Buffy?” If she hadn’t been watching closely, Tara wouldn’t have seen Faith’s mouth tighten at the question. “Y-You don’t seem to like her ve-very much.”

 

Turning on the burner, Faith finally met her eyes. “Look, T, you can’t lump me and B together like you can her and Red. I ain’t been in Sunnydale that long, and, well… Let’s just say B and me had some issues.”

 

Those issues hadn’t been the same ones she’d had with Buffy; Tara was sure of that. She sat quietly while Faith flipped the frying bacon pieces. Faith had been nice to her – more than nice. She’d trusted her with information Tara didn’t think she shared with many people. Tara wasn’t going to put her in the middle of her problems with Buffy.

 

After a few minutes, though, Faith picked up the conversation. “Before Red, I was a real ‘want, take, have’ kinda girl. B got all up in my shit when I went after Red. Made sure I knew if I hurt her, she’d make sure I regretted it.”

 

“Bu-Buffy threatened you?” Tara stared at Faith for a second and then burst into giggles.

 

Faith’s dimples popped out at the sound. “You laugh, T, but the Pastel Princess ain’t as helpless as she looks.” Using hot dog tongs, Faith removed the bacon from the skillet and placed them on a plate and covered them with paper towel before pouring the well-beaten eggs into the still-sizzling skillet.

 

“I kn-know she’s not,” Tara muttered, all amusement draining out of her. Buffy wasn’t helpless at all.

 

Looking up, Faith said quietly, “Me and B have a truce, T. We leave each other alone so Red don’t feel like a wishbone, but… I ain’t never seen her do anything like what she told us last night.”

 

“You wa-want me to give her another chance?” Tara stuttered. She could feel her shoulders hunch. She couldn’t do that. Not even for Faith.

 

Soft footsteps sounded in the kitchen, and then Faith’s hand tucked Tara’s hair behind her ear. “T,” Tara looked up at a very serious Faith, “I would never do that. You gotta make up your own mind. If that means you hate B’s guts, it’s your call.”

 

CHAPTER 9

 

Staring into Faith’s intense brown eyes, Tara slowly nodded. “Th-thank you.” She’d half expected Faith and Willow to use the generosity with their living arrangements to attempt to convince her that Buffy wasn’t like she’d been in high school.

 

“Welcome. “Faith’s grin seemed to say she didn’t consider her ‘non-interference’ policy to be a big deal. Maybe it wasn’t. Maybe Tara was making more of the situation that it called for. “Now, grab us some drinks. Breakfast’s about ready.” She poured the scrambled eggs out of the skillet, dividing them unequally onto two plates.

 

“Faith, I can’t eat that much!” The mound of eggs on the first plate resembled a fluffy yellow mountain. Tara paused in the middle of the kitchen. “Give yourself some of those.”

 

A pained sigh answered Tara’s command. “Get…the…drinks,” Faith enunciated slowly.

 

Feet stomping on the linoleum, Tara finished her journey and pulled open the refrigerator door. She was surprised none of the food inside came spewing out. “I wouldn’t w-want your grocery bill,” she said as she retrieved a gallon-jug of orange juice and a carton of milk. “Do you and Wil-Willow have people over a lot?”

 

“Fuck no. Red don’t trust me around other people,” Faith snorted.

 

Remembering a comment along those lines from her first conversation with Willow, Tara smiled. “Why not? Do you scare people off with your bad girl act?”

 

Eyes narrowed, Faith scowled in response. “It ain’t an act.”

 

“Of course it isn’t,” Tara agreed with mock solemnity. “You really are a mean and evil b-bitch.” She carried the drinks to the counter and set them down. “Look how you tr-treated me. I’m t-terrified of you. R-Really.”

 

***

 

“Why don’t we go somewhere else?” Parker said softly. “Making out in the Quad seems…I don’t know. Uncool?”

 

 Buffy then noticed they were drawing some attention, Buffy noticed. People stared at them as they walked by and Buffy was sure she heard one, “Get a room,” comment.

 

“Sure. Sorry.” Wiping the back of her right hand over her mouth, Buffy stood up. She found it hard to believe that she was doing this out in the open with a guy she had just met.

 

 

Parker followed her up and stood so they were pressed together. “Hey, that wasn’t a complaint. I didn’t think you’d want to get a reputation, though. Being a freshman is bad enough without having to deal with rumors.”

 

He was right. Stepping away, Buffy tried to smile. “I’ve had enough of people talking about me to last a lifetime. Thanks for protecting my honor.” Smiling got easier as Parker wrapped an arm around her and started them down the path. She didn’t remember smiling since this whole thing with Tara had started. “Where are we going?”

 

“How about I introduce you to some friends of mine? Nice guys, I promise.” They left the path and started across the grass, heading past the library. “I pledged Wolf House; we’re having a big party tonight. We can check in on the set up, say hello to my pledge brothers, and find someplace to do lunch.”

 

“Sure.” What else did she have to do? It wasn’t like she had any friends to spend time with right now. Buffy leaned her head on Parker’s shoulder during the walk to Greek Row. “You don’t seem like a frat boy.”

 

His arm shifted. “You mean because I haven’t had a drink the entire time we’ve been walking?”

 

Buffy giggled. “Something like that. And you didn’t take advantage of me.” She looked up at him, seeing him watching her. “You could have,” she confessed shyly. “Most men would have.”

 

“I’m not most men, Buffy.” Parker lightly poked the tip of her nose with his finger. “Don’t just lump me in with the knuckle-draggers, OK?” Letting her go, he jogged up a set of cracked concrete stairs. “Welcome to Wolfhouse.” With a flourish, he yanked open the door.

 

“Where the men howl at the moon and the women run for their lives?” Buffy joked. She stepped around him and stopped just inside the doorway. A quartet of pool players glanced up their game. A battered table and empty couches took up the rest of the main room.

 

Parker scowled good-naturedly. “I don’t howl. I’m one of the good guys. Geeze. How many times do I have to tell you that?”

 

Skipping ahead, Buffy called out, “Over and over until it sinks in. Remember that ex?” she reminded him. “Well, he wasn’t a good guy.” Far, far from it. “I may need a while to make the adjustment.”

 

“As long as it takes, Buffy.” Parker chased after her and pulled her into his arms. “There’s no hurry. This isn’t a race. We’ll go slow, if that’s what you want.”

 

A laugh badly disguised as a cough drove them apart. “Parker, you gonna introduce us to your new girl?”

 

Parker never looked away from Buffy. “Guys, this is Buffy. Buffy, the guys.”

 

Slowly turning in Parker’s arms, Buffy waved at the four young men. “Hi.”

 

“Hi, Buffy.” They managed a ragged chorus with their welcome. The tallest moved forward and held out a hand. “Chad. Parker and I pledged together.”

 

“Nice to meet you.” Buffy repeated the handshaking ceremony with Paul, Mike, and Sam.

 

Although he’d mentioned spending time with his friends when they’d been on campus, Parker didn’t seem too interested in that. Buffy felt him attempting to push her toward the stairs at the back of the room.

 

She held her ground. “Slow, remember?” Buffy asked pleadingly.

 

Parker stiffened for a second and then nodded. “Slow,” he agreed. When he pushed again, it was to maneuver them both to one of the leather couches.

 

***

 

Sighting along the cue, Buffy reminded herself not to shove the wooden tool through the ball. Slayer strength and pool playing mixed badly. With a gentle motion, she pulled back on the cue and snapped it forward. “Shit!” She hadn’t broken the striped ball – just sent it careening off the table.

 

“I got it.” Chad chased it down and set it back on the table.

 

Buffy handed her cue to Mike. “Here. I give up. I’m not meant to play this game.” In the last thirty minutes, she’d managed to knock a dozen balls onto the floor and had actually broken Chad’s custom-made pool cue.

 

No one disagreed with her comment.

 

“Don’t worry about it, Buffy. I didn’t bring you here for a pool tournament.” Parker put his cue away on the wall rack. “Come upstairs while I grab a few things. Then we’ll head out for some lunch.”

 

“Hey, can we…” Paul started to say.

 

Parker was quick to interrupt. “No. I am not taking you bottomless pits out for food.” He guided Buffy toward the stairs with a hand in the small of her back. “My room’s the first one on the right. It isn’t locked. Make yourself comfortable and I’ll be right there. Just give me a minute alone with these guys.”

 

“Sure.” Feeling every eye in the room on her, Buffy slowly climbed the stairs. The quiet from the main room was stilted, as if Parker and his friends were waiting for her to get out of earshot.

 

It was a relief to open the door to Parker’s room and step inside. Buffy sighed and rolled her head to loosen the taut muscles of her neck before doing a little scouting. The room was cluttered but cleaner than she’d expected. Weren’t all college students supposed to be slobs? Buffy knew her own cleaning skills were suspect.

 

Unlike Tara. Buffy winced at the memory of Tara’s belongings neatly displayed on the other side of their dorm room.

 

Tara had moved out. Maybe her next new roommate would be different.

 

Buffy wandered to the desk on the far side of the room. A cork bulletin board hung on the wall over the cluttered surface. Photos, notes, and mementos were pinned haphazardly to the board. Brushing her fingers over the items, Buffy zeroed in on a group shot of Parker and Chad and several other young men. “Pledge Class 127, Wolf House, Fall 1999.”

 

Everybody in the shot was smiling.

 

Their smiles reminded Buffy of the photo of her, Willow, and Xander that sat on the nightstand next to her bed. They’d all been smiling, too. Smiling and happy and together.

 

The urge to run was back. Buffy couldn’t just take off, though. Parker was downstairs, planning on taking her to lunch. Striding across the room, Buffy opened the door and stepped into the hallway. She’d offer Parker a rain check.

 

As she stood at the top of the stairs, Parker’s voice drifted up. Her Slayer hearing kicked in. “Give it a rest, Chad. It isn’t like I’m not going to make the deadline.”

 

“The hell you won’t! Look, Parker, the contest ends tomorrow night at midnight, and we’re way behind in the points. Why are you dragging this out?” Chad sounded angry, and Buffy took a step back, not wanting to interrupt the conversation. “I know you. You’re like magic with the chicks. I bet you had this newest one eating out of your hand in minutes.”

 

Newest one? Were they talking about her? The hair on the back of Buffy’s neck prickled and she automatically smoothed a hand over it.

 

Parker laughed. It wasn’t the warm and friendly laugh Buffy had heard in the Quad. “She was so into me we nearly got it on in public. Buffy’s a firecracker.”

 

“And you brought her back here?” Chad shouted.

 

The words faded in and out as Buffy fought off the nausea swirling in her stomach

 

She glimpsed Chad as he strode into her line of sight at the bottom of the stairs. “We’re counting on you, brother. No more going slow and taking your time. You need to score and move on. Buffy only brings our point total to a hundred and eighty. Last year’s pledges scored two hundred and forty by the Halloween Bash.”

 

Score…point total…Buffy… The words echoed in her head.

 

Clapping a hand over her mouth, Buffy bolted back into the room and straight for the trashcan by the desk. When the heaving stopped, she fumbled through the pile of clothing on the floor for something to use to clean up. A T-shirt wiped the clammy sweat from her skin and the traces of vomit from her mouth.

 

Buffy tossed it back onto the bed and staggered to the window. It slid up with a screech. Staring out into the perfect Southern California afternoon, Buffy shivered and rubbed her arms. 

 

Footsteps sounded on the stairs – probably Parker’s.

 

Driven into action, Buffy straddled the windowsill. The two-story drop was the only way out. Dragging her left foot outside, she pushed away from the building and plummeted to the ground.

 

CHAPTER 10

 

Buffy hit the ground and used her momentum to spring into a forward somersault. It didn’t completely offset the impact from the fall; however, she was able to walk away from Wolf House with only twinge in her ankle and a large bruise on her pride.

 

The bright and sunny day had turned cold for Buffy. She shivered, despite the actual warmth of the day. Head bent and shoulders hunched, she counted her past and recent relationship failures with each step. Right foot, Tara. Left foot, Angel. Faith Willow. The list started over. Tara.

 

This time, though, she didn’t move on.

 

Instead, images of Tara marched along with her. Tara, her blue eyes wide and filled with tears during the LA mall fiasco. Tara, sitting on the bed in their dorm room, so scared of Buffy that she stuttered on nearly every word.

 

Buffy’s stride slowed…then immediately picked up. Slamming her feet onto the sidewalk, she glowered. She wasn’t the same person. She wasn’t.

 

Not even the forceful strides beat the memories of Tara away, though. They hung there, right in front of her eyes, clouding her view of the present. She wasn’t that person, she repeated to herself. She couldn’t still be…

 

Her footfalls softened again. Maybe she was still that person. Buffy moodily considered that. Angel. She’d loved him. Or thought she had. Now she wasn’t so sure. He’d been different and forbidden. A Slayer and a vampire.

 

Her lips twisted into a bitter arc.

 

They’d been a modern version of Romeo and Juliet. Except Buffy hadn’t loved him enough to join him in death. She’d used him to get what she wanted in the end. Sure, she’d saved the world. That didn’t excuse her whispered “I love you,” and the Judas kiss right before she shoved her sword into Angel’s stomach.

 

A single tear streaked her face. It was joined with a horde of friends as the next name slipped out, “Willow.”

 

***

 

With a low growl, Faith raised her hands with her fingers bent into claws. “Take it back, Blondie.”

 

Giggling, Tara did the one thing guaranteed to keep her safe – she grabbed Faith’s plate and held it threateningly high over her head.

 

Faith froze immediately. “Fuck it all, T, that ain’t fair. Put the plate down. Carefully.” The clawed hands were gone, replaced by opened palms. “See? You’re safe.” Her eyes were glued to the eggs that seemed to tremble on the edge of the plate.

 

“Big, bad Faith. Brought down b-by one little wi-witch and some food.” Having proved her point, Tara returned Faith’s breakfast to the counter.

 

Faith grumbled – but Tara saw her dimples peeking out. “Next time, witch. I’ll be ready for you next time.” She dropped onto a stool and picked up her fork. “Eat up, T. If you’re too slow, I might be tempted to eat mine and yours. Red says I ain’t got any manners when it comes to food.”

 

Nibbling at a piece of bacon, Tara said softly, “Let me s-see if I have this straight. You c-can’t live in the dorms or be around other p-people, and you steal food.”

 

Mouth full of food, Faith simply nodded her agreement.

 

“And Wi-Willow tr-trusts you to be here with me?” The crunch of Tara’s bacon was loud in the small room.

 

“Fuck, no.” Faith seemed very sure of that. “She trusts you to kick my ass if I get outta line. Red’s real impressed with you being a witch and all.” The last part was partially garbled as she stuffed a forkful of eggs into her mouth.

 

***

 

Tara had just finished washing her breakfast plate when a sharp knock sounded from the front door.

 

“I got it,” Faith told her. She hopped off the stool and trotted into the living room. “Red musta still been pretty out of it when she went to class this morning. She ain’t forgot her key since we first moved in.”

 

Tara heard her turn the lock and then the door handle.

 

“Hey, Red, I’m gonna…” Faith’s voice cut off abruptly.

 

Alerted by the sudden silence in the other room, Tara hurriedly dried her hands on a tea towel and went to see what had happened.

 

Faith and another woman stood statue-still on either side of the apartment threshold.

 

“F-Faith? Is some-something wr-wrong?” The tension was so thick, Tara’s stutter worsened in response.

 

Remaining frozen, Faith didn’t answer. The older woman, however, seemed to snap out of her trance. Gently moving Faith out of the way, she stepped into the apartment. “Not wrong, exactly. You must be Tara. I’ve heard quite a bit about you.”

 

Not sure how to respond to that, Tara ducked her head, feeling her cheeks heat with a blush.  “Ho-how did you h-hear…” she stuttered.

 

Before she could finish, though, the woman turned to Faith. “I was hoping to talk with you and Willow.”

 

“She ain’t home yet, Mrs. S.” Faith had turned and was watching the older woman closely. “Her last class don’t get out ‘til one.”

 

Tara tuned out the rest of her words. Mrs. S? Staring hard at the woman in front of her, she considered the blonde hair, hazel eyes, and Faith’s normal pattern for nicknames. “M-Mrs. S-Summers?” she croaked out. Dear Goddess. It couldn’t be Buffy’s mother.

 

With a wry smile, Mrs. Summers nodded. “I’m so sorry. I should have introduced myself earlier.”

 

No. She definitely shouldn’t have. In fact, Tara really wished she didn’t know now. Backing away slowly, she mumbled, “I n-need to fin-finish c-cleaning the k-kitchen.”

 

Mrs. Summers’ sigh filled the room. “Of course, honey, if it’s that important.” Her hazel eyes darkened as she peered at Tara. “But please come back. I’d like to talk to you, too, please.”

 

Biting back an instinctive refusal, Tara nodded once before fleeing for the safety of the kitchen.

 

“What happened last night, Faith? Buffy came home in tears, and she…” Tara cut off the rest of Mrs. Summers’ words by turning on the water in the kitchen sink.

 

Hands shaking, she squirted more dish soap into the murky, bubble-free water she’d left and watched new foam build. Buffy’s mother. Tara closed her eyes against sudden tears. The look in Mrs. Summers’ eyes… Her own mother had looked like that each and every time she’d been about to apologize.

 

What did Mrs. Summers have to apologize for? She hadn’t been the one to make Tara’s life miserable. That had been Buffy.

 

Tara forced her thoughts back to the dishes and utensils.  Even scrubbing each one slowly and carefully and examining them for any leftover crumb or food stain failed to make the task last long enough. Biting her lip, Tara drained the water from the sink. Without the clatter of plates and running water, snippets of conversation drifted in from the living room.

 

“…didn’t see Buffy,” Willow’s voice said. She must have come home while Tara had been hiding in the kitchen. Sounding defensive, Willow continued. “Even if I’d wanted to, I couldn’t talk to her because she wasn’t in class.”

 

Ignoring the shame coiling in her stomach, Tara crept closer to the kitchen doorway and listened intently.

 

“Willow, honey, calm down.” Tara froze as Mrs. Summers spoke. “I’m not accusing you of kidnapping her or blaming you for anything.” There was a hint of irritation in her voice. “I merely thought you might have realized how badly you may have…overreacted last night and had gone to talk to Buffy.”

 

***

 

 

When she finally ran out of bad relationships and choices to mull over, Buffy stopped in the middle of the sidewalk and blearily peered around. Nothing looked familiar at first.

 

She spun slowly and looked again.

 

A dry cleaners. The Sunnydale Credit Union…Buffy snorted. All the inner peps talks and the laundry list of personal failures and she’d only made it to the outskirts of campus – just a few steps from the main co-ed drinking spot. With a sense of the inevitable, Buffy continued walking until Jack’s came into view. Maybe Xander was working and would spot her a drink. She could use one…or a dozen.

 

Her hopes for drunken forgetfulness were dashed. Xander wasn’t polishing the bar or stacking glasses. The owner was. He waved at her and leaned against the gleaming wood surface. “Your friend isn’t here.”

 

“That’s OK,” Buffy answered. And it was. Maybe it was actually a good thing that Xander had the afternoon off. Willow had probably told him what had happened. And she didn’t think she could take the disappointment in the eyes of her other good friend. Slumping onto a barstool, she mumbled without much hope, “How about a beer?”

 

That earned her a long look. Then, with a snort, Jack turned and placed his hand on the tap. “I’ve got a brand new brew. First one’s on the house if you tell me what you think. I got a hell of a deal on this, and I’m thinking of making it the house beer.”

 

Great. With a wry twist to her lips, Buffy nodded. Why not? From a fuck for points to a barroom guinea pig. “Line ‘em up.”

 

Jack slid the first chilled mug down the bar. “One at a time,” he warned. “You get too outta hand, I’ll cut you off.” Glaring at a group of college-aged young men in the back, Jack went on. “I’ve already replaced too many tables and chairs since the start of the semester.”

 

Holding back a comment on his policy of serving anyone – even her – a drink, Buffy picked up the cold, condensation-streaked mug by the handle and raised it to her lips. She was a Slayer. Alcohol wouldn’t affect her, no matter how much she drank.

 

 

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